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Funny Things to Tweet on Twitter Posts

Updated on August 26, 2015

Funny Twitter Quotes

Are you bored? Want to have fun? Well, then look no further and enjoy this big collection of funny twitter quotes. You can say these hilarious things and quotes on your Twitter like Will Ferrell or simply make these crazy one liner jokes to your Twitter bios as well.

Funny Tweets of the Day

  1. 100 crazy tweets are enough to make a Justin Bieber fan stop crying.
  2. I appreciate your hardest migration from Facebook to Twitter.
  3. Make your fart smell like the holidays!
  4. Especially on the weekends, drunken tweets are hell funny
  5. That awkward moment when you realize you were browsing Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter at the same time!

  6. I got a personal record of 1000 re-tweets! Twitter is a circle jerk.
  7. I hate when girls claim they're a model in their Twitter bios.
  8. That awkward moment when you realize you don’t follow me on twitter.
  9. Oh I can’t believe you have just read my tweet.
  10. That is the funniest moment when you are searching to follow someone on Twitter and instead tweet their name.
  11. That is embarrassing moment when you were going to post a status on Facebook but then decided to put it on twitter.
  12. That awkward moment when you post a goofy picture of yourself on Facebook which is tied to your Twitter account and you forget to mark it FRIENDS ONLY but before you know it....it's re-tweeting!

  13. A legal question: If you kill someone but they turn into a zombie can you still get charged with murder?
  14. That is an awkward moment when the US House of Representatives starts following you on the Twitter.
  15. I was reading some Twitter bios and noticed a word used by people to describe, uh, them: "superstar". It's beyond ridiculous someone would tell people that is what they are in this age of transparency. Because the few superstars there are wouldn't dream of saying it publicly.
  16. You fart in my car and you have the audacity to say, it's a free country.
  17. Harry Styles is a new hairstyle or what?
  18. What is Marilyn Monroe official Twitter ID?
  19. That awkward moment when you realize you use Twitter more than Facebook but have no followers.
  20. That awkward moment when someone stops posting on Facebook so you won't see the illegal, immoral and unethical things they are doing . . . But they post them on Twitter multiple times a day, and they think you can't see it.

  21. Question of the day: Is it necrophilia if your girlfriend is a zombie?
  22. That awkward moment you forgot your lunch because of twitter.
  23. My fart sounded like a duck defending its territory.
  24. You may hate the situation when your boss follows you on Twitter.
  25. That awkward moment when people connect their twitter to Facebook, It's like exposing their whole conversation to the world.

  26. That awkward moment when you stare at your phone for like 10 minutes and praying, someone texts you, or calls you, or posts on your twitter or Facebook or Instagram.
  27. If she can't smell my fart she can't have my heart.
  28. Does being a socialite pay? Because a lot people on twitter got that on their bio's like it’s an occupation/career.
  29. That is a slightly ridiculous moment when you follow someone on twitter because they have a "ø" in their names.
  30. Once I fart so loud and my neighbors thought I was calling them.
  31. That is an awkward moment when you get punched in the face for talking so much bad about others on the Twitter.
  32. If you feel a little blue, add some zombies to your life. It will get exciting, for sure.
  33. Hold on, I just remembered that an old lady on my train blamed me for her fart today.
  34. That awkward moment when people say "Follow me on Facebook". No. This is Facebook, not Twitter.
  35. Somebody nearly ruined my whole lovely day when he said. I was so short that every time I fart, I blow dust on the ground.
  36. That awkward moment when the person you introduced to Twitter gets more follower than you in a short time.
  37. Last night when I was sleeping in my bed I heard a fart. I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared.
  38. .I feel so stupid for following you on the Twitter.
  39. What are the best funny things to tweet about one direction? They don’t have any direction.
  40. Twitter bios are sillier than Facebook updates.
  41. You ever been talking loudly to a beautiful girl, and then you talk to gently her, and then she talks loudly to you, then you talk loudly to her, then she talks?

Funny Twitter Bios

Will Ferrell Funniest tweet
Will Ferrell Funniest tweet

Twitter Poll

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Comments

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    • profile image

      Chole 

      4 years ago

      Funnyy....

    • Quoteslover profile imageAUTHOR

      Quotes Lover 

      5 years ago

      Thank you dear

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran - The Write Stuff 

      5 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Funny stuff indeed! Voted up and funny. Humorous tweets are great. I have followed people just because I get a kick out of their tweets

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