ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Funny Things to Tweet on Twitter Posts

Updated on August 26, 2015

Funny Twitter Quotes

Are you bored? Want to have fun? Well, then look no further and enjoy this big collection of funny twitter quotes. You can say these hilarious things and quotes on your Twitter like Will Ferrell or simply make these crazy one liner jokes to your Twitter bios as well.

Funny Tweets of the Day

  1. 100 crazy tweets are enough to make a Justin Bieber fan stop crying.
  2. I appreciate your hardest migration from Facebook to Twitter.
  3. Make your fart smell like the holidays!
  4. Especially on the weekends, drunken tweets are hell funny
  5. That awkward moment when you realize you were browsing Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter at the same time!

  6. I got a personal record of 1000 re-tweets! Twitter is a circle jerk.
  7. I hate when girls claim they're a model in their Twitter bios.
  8. That awkward moment when you realize you don’t follow me on twitter.
  9. Oh I can’t believe you have just read my tweet.
  10. That is the funniest moment when you are searching to follow someone on Twitter and instead tweet their name.
  11. That is embarrassing moment when you were going to post a status on Facebook but then decided to put it on twitter.
  12. That awkward moment when you post a goofy picture of yourself on Facebook which is tied to your Twitter account and you forget to mark it FRIENDS ONLY but before you know's re-tweeting!

  13. A legal question: If you kill someone but they turn into a zombie can you still get charged with murder?
  14. That is an awkward moment when the US House of Representatives starts following you on the Twitter.
  15. I was reading some Twitter bios and noticed a word used by people to describe, uh, them: "superstar". It's beyond ridiculous someone would tell people that is what they are in this age of transparency. Because the few superstars there are wouldn't dream of saying it publicly.
  16. You fart in my car and you have the audacity to say, it's a free country.
  17. Harry Styles is a new hairstyle or what?
  18. What is Marilyn Monroe official Twitter ID?
  19. That awkward moment when you realize you use Twitter more than Facebook but have no followers.
  20. That awkward moment when someone stops posting on Facebook so you won't see the illegal, immoral and unethical things they are doing . . . But they post them on Twitter multiple times a day, and they think you can't see it.

  21. Question of the day: Is it necrophilia if your girlfriend is a zombie?
  22. That awkward moment you forgot your lunch because of twitter.
  23. My fart sounded like a duck defending its territory.
  24. You may hate the situation when your boss follows you on Twitter.
  25. That awkward moment when people connect their twitter to Facebook, It's like exposing their whole conversation to the world.

  26. That awkward moment when you stare at your phone for like 10 minutes and praying, someone texts you, or calls you, or posts on your twitter or Facebook or Instagram.
  27. If she can't smell my fart she can't have my heart.
  28. Does being a socialite pay? Because a lot people on twitter got that on their bio's like it’s an occupation/career.
  29. That is a slightly ridiculous moment when you follow someone on twitter because they have a "ø" in their names.
  30. Once I fart so loud and my neighbors thought I was calling them.
  31. That is an awkward moment when you get punched in the face for talking so much bad about others on the Twitter.
  32. If you feel a little blue, add some zombies to your life. It will get exciting, for sure.
  33. Hold on, I just remembered that an old lady on my train blamed me for her fart today.
  34. That awkward moment when people say "Follow me on Facebook". No. This is Facebook, not Twitter.
  35. Somebody nearly ruined my whole lovely day when he said. I was so short that every time I fart, I blow dust on the ground.
  36. That awkward moment when the person you introduced to Twitter gets more follower than you in a short time.
  37. Last night when I was sleeping in my bed I heard a fart. I didn't know whether to laugh or be scared.
  38. .I feel so stupid for following you on the Twitter.
  39. What are the best funny things to tweet about one direction? They don’t have any direction.
  40. Twitter bios are sillier than Facebook updates.
  41. You ever been talking loudly to a beautiful girl, and then you talk to gently her, and then she talks loudly to you, then you talk loudly to her, then she talks?

Funny Twitter Bios

Will Ferrell Funniest tweet
Will Ferrell Funniest tweet

Twitter Poll

I like to tweet

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      6 years ago


    • Quoteslover profile imageAUTHOR

      Quotes Lover 

      7 years ago

      Thank you dear

    • rfmoran profile image

      Russ Moran - The Write Stuff 

      7 years ago from Long Island, New York

      Funny stuff indeed! Voted up and funny. Humorous tweets are great. I have followed people just because I get a kick out of their tweets


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)