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How To Text While Dating

Updated on November 7, 2015
SerenityHalo profile image

I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.

An old saying says that sweetness is perfection. Sweetness is an often overlooked quality. But sweetness really is perfection. It means someone is kind, and constantly growing in kindness.

Texting is synonymous with dating. It's completely normal at this point to use texting to boost the relationship, privately mess with each other's brains, and setup times to meet. Many people now ask you to be with them with the flick of a handful words. Asking someone out in person hasn't died, but knowing what's going on in these little text messages will help you to in your relationship and preventing relationship woes.

Texting Sweetness

Okay, gone are the ways of pick up lines and unprecedented cheesiness. Well, maybe. You help build intimacy with a person through texting.

1. Ask how someone is doing. Don't be worried if someone, especially new, doesn't immediately respond. Don't go overboard and blow up someone's phone. What you're doing is building a presence... and you want to build an attractive one, not a needy or psycho one.

2. Inside jokes are all the rage. Haven't talked to someone in ages? Catch them with an old joke.

3. Cockiness and ego need to go out the window.

4. Compliments are a good idea, but remember unlike in conversation where's there's an expectation of being off the cusp and a little more LIVE, texting is a bit more premeditated and maybe in the moment, but you have the chance to craft a well thought out message.

5. Keep it short. Spend less time texting and more time in person.

6. Learn the following phrases and memorize them by heart: "I miss you," "Do you remember that time...?" "I think I may have just saw you..." "I would like to get to know you better," "I really appreciated it..." "You're my favorite person because..." "I've had a crush on you forever," "I would like to see you." "Would you like to hang out?" "What are three of your favorite things to do?"

7. Leave something accidentally over at their house. Use texting to setup a time to get it back. Have something in mind of what you'd like to do if meeting ends up being something that can take longer.

8. Food is the way to a man (and a woman's) heart. Talk about food. Go get food.

9. Ask for help on something. Car trouble, leaky faucet, homework, how to make something you know that they can.

10. Ask a question about a specific memory that you enjoyed with the person... but need help remembering some details.

11. Would you like these brownies I just made?

12. Take pictures of things that are adorable and send them to each other: cute stuffed animals, nostalgic cartoons, things that make you laugh.

13. Say... "Hey, can we talk on the phone? I'd like to hear your voice?"

14. "I like looking through these old text messages because they're so happy."

15. Make metaphors and similes in comparing the person to awesome things.

16. Be honest.

17. Admit to laughing and smiling.

18. If you've been in a conversation for awhile and it seems like it has been going well... be bold and say a very specific thing that you appreciate about the person.

19. Catch them at a normal time of the day.

20. Send them long texts that are awesome. Every once in a while a long text that goes into some insane, beautiful mode is greatly appreciated. But don't try sending a long text about relationship problems. Don't do that ever.

Some Tips

1. If you wouldn't like receiving the text, don't send it.

2. Don't get too personal in texts. It'll make it awkward when you're in person and having nothing to talk about.

3. Be conversational. Avoid semi-colons. Unless you're both into language. Concise sentences, to the point, with confidence.

4. It's a bad idea to explain why someone is making you upset through a text message.

5. If you're going to send pictures... do it sparingly.

6. Kill all stalker tendencies you may have. That never leads to a path of success. You're not a private investigator.

7. An ideal texting conversation is about 30 minutes to 2 hours. Otherwise... you should be calling or something unusual is going on if you're having lengthy hour text conversations.

8. Keep your text messages and read them back after awhile. You might see some patterns and it'll help you to improve how you communicate with texting.

9. Even though the Internet is making bank with some of its online dating services... you don't want to be bothered by strangers. It's the year 2015 and you have Facebook, bars, outings... everything is so open so... you don't need to be having conversations with strangers when you probably already have good prospects that you could be dating. Be safe if you date online. Sometimes it works, but it can be throwing yourself to serial daters. Studies still show that the best relationships that last the longest are ones made with a best friend.


1. Drunk text, girl you drunk... go home. Few have the art of the drunk text down, and that's because when spelling, sanity, and thoughtfulness go down the tube... you can write yourself into a hole.

2. Ask for nude pictures or give nude pictures. If you don't want the entire Internet world to see a picture of you, then by all means... don't send a digital picture. With all the celebrity hacks, you really are not safe. And you have no power when you give these pictures away. It gives complete power to the viewer who most likely will objectify you. You have no idea what they'll do with that picture. And if you break up, do you really want them to keep it? Be safe. You can interact people without making a stockpile of incriminating pictures for your future... heck your kids' future.

3. Don't write lengthy messages about relationship problems. Schedule a time that you can talk. Write your thoughts in a letter. It's more sentimental and will probably come off more sane.

4. Don't write fantastically more than the other person in texting. If they're not mutually keeping up with you, you may be happy, but they may not.

5. Don't give one word answers.... or one word letters. If you have to, you have to. But that should be seldom ever.

6. Don't give away information you wouldn't want the other person knowing or that makes you uncomfortable.

7. Do not send a series of random letters or words to grab their attention. If they haven't responded to a message be patient. If it's really biting you, try to send something positive, or try calling.

8. Don't text all the time. It will wear you out. And eventually you'll dislike the other person.

9. Don't go silent for days and avoid texting. You should have text messages from the person you're dating about 3-5 days. If it's been two weeks... something might be wrong, at least in this day and age.

10. Don't insult the other person. Don't insult yourself.

11. Don't send a text message before reading it over. Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes. Show that you have attention to detail.

12. Don't text if you are in person. Only text when you are separated by space.

13. Don't become an aggressive texter. That makes the other person find you scary. If they don't text back, be cool about it.

Smartphone Addiction

It's a real thing. We're all a little too attached to our phones and could benefit to step away from them. Smartphones can actually cause you emotional problems if they become a crutch in trying to handle your relationship. Take phone breaks. Make an intentional point to step away from your phone every once in awhile, and try spicing up your relationship.

Women often suffer from trying to solve relationship problems via text. It rarely if ever works. These things are kind of like emotional remotes. So... be brave to throw them in the trash can every once in awhile.

You should buy cleaning wipes and clean off your phone everywhere once in awhile. Your phone is a festival for germs.

Studies have shown that people have separation anxiety with their phones and can even have lower scores on tests when distracted by not having their phone. You can live without your phone. Billions of people before you have.


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