How to Ask Others Not to Post Photos of You Online
Photos and the Internet
The Internet has really changed the way that we interact with others. One of the ways that many of us stay in touch is with social networks and media. Whether simple on the internet, through our phones, or through social media sites, a photo taken by a friend can be seen by the rest of the world with the mere click of a mouse. What could simply be a harmless photo in the opinions of some is now something that could cost people their jobs in some cases.
Be Prepared to Ask
I love having my picture taken. I don't mind making cheesy photos with friends and family. I nearly broke a leg in Paris getting the perfect photo of me next to the statue of Charlemagne on an icy night in January.
My friend, R was not so enthralled. "Can we not post up the photos of me with you in France?" He asked me as I sat in my Paris apartment. "But, R, Why?" I asked him.
"Because if people see pictures of you and me together, they will think that we are dating. We are not, we are just friends. I am fine with just being friends, but there may be a time in the future when I want to date someone, and they will see those pictures."
"Okay. I won't post the ones of you. I won't mention you." I said, smiling. He was relieved.
Be prepared to ask others not to post pictures of you online. You might be faced with resistant people, but remain polite and firm.
The most common reason I have been asked to not share a photo is because it is not flattering.
Reasons for Not Wanting Photos Online
Here is a list of only some of the reasons that you might not want your images to be online:
- Concern for privacy
- Looking for work
- Your minor children in photo
- Not a flattering photo
- Issues with someone knowing your whereabouts
- Policy with work does not allow for photos online
- You are currently in a position of authority
- Work friends on your social network
- Going through a divorce/breakup
- Going through a custody battle
What to Do if Your Image Comes Online
Imagine going through some photos when a friend promised that they would not post them online, and there is a picture of you right there on a social network. What do you do?
Contact your friend right away. Call/text/email and tell them to take it down. If they say that they will, give them a time limit. Be reasonable. If they are at school/work, they probably cannot do it right then.
If they don't take it down, contact the social media site and explain what is going on.
Dealing With a Friend Who Put Up Your Image
It seemed like a simple picture. A teen couple holding hands on the beach. When the teen girl saw it, she called her friend and demanded it come down. She was of a strong religious faith family, and the boy in the photo was only a friend, but her family saw it as more than that. They were berating her, commenting on how it would look to other members of their faith.
The teen girl in the photo contacted her friend who took the photo, who refused to take down the image. She then contacted the social media site who took it down two hours later.
The friend who took the photo was angry. Heated words were exchanged. The friendship was lost.
When asking someone to take down a photo and they don't, the friendship may suffer damage, or it may be lost. Think about this before you ask a friend to remove an image, and choose your words carefully when you make the request.
Keeping Your Image and Yourself Safe
If you are hosting an event, ask ahead of time that images not be shared online of you. Explain why, and if you feel it necessary, call each person in person.
Don't do anything that you would regret having a photo taken. Don't drink to excess. Don't flash your body to a camera. Don't go places you should not be, or be with people you should not be with.
Remember that nice person who did not post the picture of you? After the event, contact them and tell them how much you appreciate them, and how much it means to you not to have your image all over the internet.
Don't Be Ugly About Posting Photos Online
There is nothing more irksome than a person who asks that you not post up photos of them that are unflattering and then proceeds to create album after album online of images showing everyone else looking horrible.
If you are asked by a friend to not post photos online, please don't. Please be respectful of their privacy needs and keep their photo private.
Have you asked someone to take a picture of you down from the internet?
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