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Large Hadron Collider - Shorted Out By A Single Bird Dropping

Updated on November 27, 2009

In the last few days the Large Hadron Collider has gone back into operation. Much to the chagrin of CERN management, the start up of the Large Hadron Collider has been marked by a series of mishaps.

The machine itself suffered an explosion on an early test run, and months later once it got back up and running a bird dropped a small crust of bread on it and shorted it out. It definitely leaves one to wonder how the construction and design and engineering of a 17 mile long multi billion dollar machine would not take into consideration the fact that something being dropped on it from the outside could make it short out, especially as something as tiny and inconsequential as a little piece of bread.

It is hard to believe that over 10 billion dollars has been spent on this machine and no one could find money in the budget to put a tarp over the part that could be shorted out from something being dropped on it from the outside. I guess that the scientists who designed it were too busy trying to solve cosmic mysteries without considering the ramifications of the otherwise irrelevant children's rhyme:

Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some whitewash in my eye
I did not laugh
I did not cry
I just thanked God that cows don't fly

So... let me get this straight... birds actually fly over the Large Hadron Collider and drop things... like bread... and poop? What a concept!

If such elementary precautions have not been taken and if such a simple design logic has not been implemented in the Large Hadron Collider, how can anyone on this planet who is being endangered by the experiment being carried on near the French and Swiss border at this very moment, not wonder whether the risk assessments which are coming from inside CERN itself are also not totally fallacious?

After all it is much easier to engineer a safeguard from a bird from dropping a piece of bread than it is to recreate the Higgs Boson or God Particle. If the individuals who have designed the Large Hadron Collider have trouble stopping a bird dropping something, how are they going to stop the cascading, universe-annihilating effects of a black hole or vacuum bubble?

Even after the explosions, the short outs and all of the various problems which CERN's Large Hadron Collider has suffered there has still never been a risk evaluation scheduled by any independent entity. Only CERN has run its own risk evaluations which are roughly equivalent to having asked Bernard Madoff to conduct his own internal risk evaluation on his multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme. Of course you should give Bernie more money. He just wrote up this really impressive looking report about how trustworthy he is. We've got to believe him!

Is CERN running risk evaluations on its own vested interests not akin to trusting Bernie Madoff when he tells you he's taking very good care of your money? Sure looks that way to me!

Continued In: Large Hadron Collider - Acknowledged Safe, But Only At 40,000 Times Less Activity

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      vic 7 years ago

      is this why birds r now falling out the sky?