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Life After Quitting Facebook - The End Of A Hallucination

Updated on July 6, 2017
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While on the process of finding the next topic to write a hub on,I tumbled upon this thought : why not share with you,the way my life is progressing without facebook,after being addicted to it,for some years.Some of my friends and many of my relatives asked me how I am feeling in its absence and whether I can handle it!They were really eager to know the facts and realities of an "after facebook life".I believe that a plenty other facebook users too - addicted and non-addicted - would be asking the same question.But before I begin,let me make it clear.I do not suppose this article to be a guide for any facebook users.Nor is it any bunch of suggestions aimed at developing a specific emotion.The facts presented here are purely based on my own experiences alone and therefore opinions for and against may arise.

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It was almost 5 years back that I decided to sign up on facebook.Since then, my way of living had changed dramatically(I know it's a cliché dialogue,but it's a fact),discovering old friends and new possibilities, feeling happy for getting the kind of platform I wished for to showcase those moments and treasures I otherwise would have had to keep to myself, sort of like a virtual personal assistant, reminding me of all my friends' birthdays and events a couple of days or even a week before, so that I can promptly wish them without fail, keeping myself updated on the latest happenings through posts and statuses, stalking whoever I wished to, and meeting new people from all over the world and what not.I eventually got mired in its wonders, sacrificing my precious time for the ephemeral pleasures I get by watching my FB home page getting filled every minute with new posts and feeds, latest pictures taken by my friends on various occasions and wasting time feeling jealous for the so-called friends-of-friends' achievements whom I've rarely met in real life, lending ears to the newest hot gossips and contributing my likes and comments expecting that they would return the favour when I upload something in future.I often believed that my social status was getting elevated each day when I saw new friend requests popping up, especially when it was from girls!

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And then,after a year or so, there were friends asking me, "Hey dude!You are 24x7 on FB?!?".I had no answer to these kind of queries because I knew very well that by now, I was totally addicted to facebook.I always wished if I could get myself out this mess somehow and save my life for the better.And of course I did deactivate it twice or thrice, and the sense of trepidation I feel at those times often forced me to select the reason from among the list of choices I had to submit while deactivating to be "This is temporary.I'll be back" as it seemed more homely. Adding to the fire, my heart twinged when it said "x and y will miss you.Leave him/her a message".But it never took me long to return back and honestly, it often presented me a feeling of getting back home after years of imprisonment while still looking for a way to avoid this evil!

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6 months ago for no new reason, I deactivated my account again.This time,somehow, I was determined to show my mettle and to prove to myself that I had the willpower to drown down any addiction which seemed a matter of my self-esteem.First few days were like hell.Without facebook, I found I had just nothing else to do on the internet! I checked mails expecting some mails from my friends or mails informing that I have got new comments on my youtube videos.But more were the days,where I received nothing more than some annoying ad promotion mails.I was totally fed up of my life.I missed those notifications,messages,chats,posts,my friends,fun and almost everything.I spent time watching tv, taking up the old albums and glancing through those pictures which I had last seen almost 5 years ago!Quite strange that I still didn't opt to pass time studying my engineering lessons which I was supposed to do in the first place!Almost a week passed by in this fashion and still the mood remained the same.What changed was my way of thinking.I decided to turn the huge vacuum that engulfed my life into something really productive.After a serious research,I chose to do some work online and earn money, without having to invest a penny.

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My research then narrowed down to those online job sites that offered me what I needed.I chose a site and started working on it.It was real fun clicking all the ads and doing mini jobs and the best part was doing surveys that offered me a pleasing amount on completion.By the end of the first month, I earned about 26$, and happily, this was my very first earning and now, I got the very first cause to stay away from facebook - I transformed the wastage of time into a handful of money! It made me happier when on that month, Amma(mom) brought groceries with the money that I had earned.I began searching for more alternatives to FB.I spent time singing covers and uploading them on the net, reading articles, especially those that discussed the latest technological updates and the articles that appeared on sites like the lifehacker, a couple of times I spent time watering the plants in our compound, experimenting some dishes after gathering the recipe from net, and finding more time for exercise.I realised that my new way of life was returning me the right sort of result for the time I spent on them.

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When looking back at those days I enormously wasted on facebook,I can realise the depth of misconceptions I was captivated in.When I get 100+ likes on my profile pic, when I get praising comments on my status updates, when I got over 750 friends on my profile, I always thought high of myself, I used to thank God for this great and large friend circle, and held facebook closer to my heart for gifting me such a fortune.But let me tell you honestly guys, till this day since deactivating, I have seen no more than 10 or 12 friends contacting me and asking me the reason.Some among them even compelled me to return to facebook.I wonder whether the rest of my "friends" have ever even bothered to think whether I am alive or not! I understood the fact that those friendships I developed via facebook were just fanciful.

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Today I have no regrets for quitting facebook.Though I can no longer look out what most of my friends are up to, what jobs they are engaged in, where they are, what all the latest happenings are and whose birthdays fall when, I still am happy for having a few but trustworthy real bunch of friends whom I keep in contact with often, and instead of poking them I can meet them in person and say hello.I feel much more loved and respected when they ring me up and invite me personally to some special occasions, rather than when tagging my name among hundreds in a status update.I no longer get irritated with farmville requests, I no longer cultivate false expectations when my pic crosses 100 likes, I don't have to waste time and energy thinking of impressive status updates and I no more belong to any group.From lessons I have learned, I think facebook has evolved to a platform mainly to show off one's own exaggerated virtues and luxuries, a place to boast of epic things they have did, to criticise without knowledge, to anonymously sledge others by creating fake accounts, and to spoil relationships including marital relations.At least some of us have heard of the news wherein a man killed his wife for changing her relationship status on facebook.I know these are rare incidents but surely it is to such a level that the addiction has grown,that you become dependent on it for each and every single thing.

Did you know?

  • As of 2013,it is estimated that about 83 million facebook accounts are bogus.
  • In Florida, a lady aged 22 was convicted of killing her baby child, for interrupting her while playing farmville,a popular facebook game.
  • A recent study revealed that around one-third of the divorce filings in the recent years contained the word "facebook".
  • Every second, 5 new profiles are created!

I often advise facebook addicts to picture facebook as a demon in the disguise of an agent, engaged in attracting victims and slowly eating them off, and it is true in the case of many, if not for all.Many of you may deny it and debate in favour of your facebook I agree.Because, I saw many people commenting on various blogs and sites saying facebook has always helped them stay connected, it is the only mean to get in contact with that person who stays miles away where phone connectivity is poor, it changed their lives, made them popular in their society and so on.For them, facebook is with no doubt, a boon.But I am talking to those like I used to be, who is on FB 24x7, killing your time and energy sitting at one place, logging off from your laptop or pc, getting to bed and signing in on ur mobile and checking out the same pics and statuses again to spend time and doing the same processes overnight. Facebook, I agree, is the best platform for discussions and criticims.But ultimately, what personal benefit did I gain from using it for these 4 or 5 years?To keep in touch with friends?Of course I was really happy to find my old friends.But after a few days of constant interaction, everything turned mechanical.None of us even bothered to message or call, because we were knowing all about each other through facebook without even having to interact.And it was only broadening the distance between us.So that was nomore a reason to use facebook.And I cannot find any reason why I should use it anymore either.Nowadays, facebook's privacy policies too are a serious concern as per reports available on the net.

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Is there a chance I will get back on facebook?The answer is "I don't know".But I pray to God, let I feel no more liking for it and let me nomore be tempted to rejoin.To those guys, who are addicted to facebook and truly wishing to quit facebook but can't do it thinking that you will be left with nothing or will miss a precious world of fun, then take my word for it, go ahead and do it without hesitation.I tell you,the first days will surely be a torture.But after a couple of weeks,you will naturally be forced to do something beneficial and productive.Trust me.I am not on a campaign to discourage facebook usage.It's just a fact that if you have reached a level where you yourself realise that you are using it too much, then you are in danger.Let facebook not be your master.If you are so certain that you can't sacrifice the fun, at least reduce the usage from almost all day to under an hour.That'll bring about a huge difference to your life.And to all other normal facebook users, who do not agree with my views and loving FB, have a happy time facebooking!

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    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Glad you have made a break from the addiction to Facebook. It can consume your life if you let it. I try to limit my time to once or twice a day but I use it to keep up with writer's and network - not really social interaction so much. Thanks for sharing your personal story here and I hope it helps someone to break the addiciton.

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 3 years ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      Mam, you are always an inspiration for me...thanks a lot for your comments and support...God Bless :)

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      Ex-FB Addict 2 years ago

      A really good article . Thanks for posting!

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      Caricaturist Sugumarje 2 years ago

      Arun... It is Mind Voice! I celebrating my 15th day of quit FB :D

    • Phoenixmaid profile image

      Phoenixmaid 2 years ago from Chester, Cheshire

      I'm a month into my post facebook life, after 7 years of just popping on to check and then finding yet another day had vanished. at this moment I really have no desire to go back. I am being more productive I just have to relearn how to focus on things for more than a few seconds at a time.

    • profile image

      leandro 2 years ago

      thanks for your article! you helped me a lot!

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      Laura 2 years ago

      Thank you -very good article. I quit last week, and it has been HARD. But I knew it was wasting my time, and I didn't really feel more connected to people - just to information about them. I just found myself feeling jealous so much, and I knew I could find healthier alternatives for my desire to "know" - like reading a book! I hope that I can return to spending time with people face-to-face or over the phone. Life is not about photos and status updates/posts; it's

    • breezepeace profile image

      Latifah 2 years ago from France

      I'm facing the same problem with facebook, it's like we know it's bogus and an insignificant thing but we still get hung up to it.

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      BT 2 years ago

      I quit Facebook about 1 1/2 years ago. I did it because it jeopardized my real relationships. I was more involved with Facebook than with my family. That is a disease. When I think about the amount of time I spent trying to entertain others and trying to keep up with other people, and then feeling bad about myself because I didn't measure up it makes me ill.

      I have since found privacy, a love of my own life, and trying to please myself and my immediate family the most important thing in my life.

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      China Abarquez 2 years ago

      When I started joining facebook back in 2010, I seldom post status, photos or update my profile. My addiction to facebook started when I was on my first year in college. Every minute I share photos, status, I even comment on different issues that I've encounter. Until, one day, a newly created account on facebook uses my own picture. I was very scared at that time. I began thinking of what ifs? What if that user who uses my picture is a scammer? What if he/she will post something bad of facebook? I reported that account and asked my friends to do the same. After a week the account was deleted. The lesson that I learned is to never trust social media sites.

      Though I am still active on facebook but all my photos were restricted to friends only. I don't accept friend request of those that I don't personally know. I am using an avatar for my profile picture and cover photo since the public will see this when they will visit my profile. I also report accounts that are fake and shares nude pictures. I am also using my nickname on facebook.

      What users should remember when using social media is to trust no one.

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 2 years ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Ex-FB Addict : Thanks a ton pal! :)

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 2 years ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      Thanks a lot all...for letting me know your views and for your support...God Bless :)

    • profile image

      catnip 2 years ago

      My first day without fb. I have discovered it is like an all consuming drug. I love to hate it, and hate to love it. Who knew something so innocent could be so addicting? I will break my addiction.

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      Ben 23 months ago

      Spot on with your analysis Arun. The addictive potential of facebook is as powerful as it is subtle and surreptitious. I described it as a delusion facillitator. I almost destroyed my marriage through it, by connecting with females I once held a lot of affection for. It allows you to become too familiar, too quickly without any basis in reality. It also allows you to project out there a pseudo self that just perpetuates the feeling that my life sucks for other people. People rarely post a crap selfie!

      The potential for misunderstanding and miscommunication is also vast! Over 70% of communication is non verbal! You do not glean this information from chat, even with those annoying emoticons. This can have disasterous consequences and can wreck and ruin relationships.

      It is also a massive time waster. You are spot on with the void that is created once you deactivate, but like you I would encourage anyone to persist in this and find something constructive to do with your time.

      Go well. There is life after facebook!

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      Liz 21 months ago

      I too have been pondering life without facebook and ive deleted it from my phone numerous times now with the latest being 5 minutes ago. I stopped updating my status regularly sometime last year unless i have something really funny to say. I justify that i do it for other people, to make them laugh but in reality ive become so cynical of everything that it takes too much time and energy crafting such creative, amusing statuses so now i just cannot be bothered. I dont know how many times recently ive written a status and then not even posted it.

      The thing that i have realised that is eating so much of my time is the pages that i follow posting articles or links to such divisive subjects (they do this for the attention themselves and/or they are trying to sway public opinion bit by bit). I spend much of my time reading the comments and letting the ones that do not fit my viewpoint piss me off. I only comment back and start fights when i am in a certain mood and have energy for fights but i have never stooped to calling people names, only calling their opinions names but like that makes all this wasted time any more worth it.

      Reading all of this back to myself, i now realise that facebook is adding to the stress in my life rather than alleviating it. There are probably about 6 thousand other things i could be doing around the house that would make my life better, rather than letting strangers rile me up and the media saturating my head with heavily biased stories.

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      Leslie 19 months ago

      Thank you so much! I actually quit facebook today! Found your article this evening! It strengthens my resolve!

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 18 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Catnip, @Ben, @Liz, @Leslie : Thanks so much for sharing your views and happy to know there are many who share my thoughts and opinions.

      And happy that my little article could really be an inspiration for some one out there to strengthen his decision to stop his addiction to facebook.God Bless all and wishing you all a happy and prosperous New Year ahead.Also I apologise for replying late to your comments and I hope I will be able to respond to your comments promptly from hereon.

    • profile image

      Abin 14 months ago

      Brilliant write up dear friend...we can use this as a basepoint for breaking any addiction not only facebook..good job

    • profile image

      Wild spirit 14 months ago

      Thank you very much for this article, it is a true inspiration! I thought I was the only one but now I see there are more people who share my opinion.

      Life is so much more than facebook! With lyrics of a Nash's song I salute you....

      "I can see clearly now the rain is gone...!"

      Best wishes! :)

    • profile image

      Josh 8 months ago

      I found this a very good read. I just deleted my account. Goodbye facebook.

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      nickr80 6 months ago

      I left Facebook last year and life was boring as hell. No new people came into my life, my job was as bad as ever and I was just bored. I missed people who were on FB, as they never texted me after I left. Why go after friends who don't be your friend when you leave FB? I hear you ask... Well, it's like a curiosity. Some friends had kids, some got married or split up but most of them were doing great as always. Still rolling in money and I still had my crap job that paid peanuts. I went through Christmas and it was depressing as f***. So many; 'look at our perfect lives' - posts. Made me sick. I had NOBODY. Nobody visited me, nobody called or texted me, nobody asked me round for even a drink. NOTHING. I said I was leaving Facebook to all my friends. Many didn't care and my closest friends said' "you do this all the time, you always come back." This time I won't. But the loneliness of life brings me back. I have nothing else...

    • profile image

      Andrew 6 months ago

      I was in the same boat. Deactivated it, but then reactivated it less than a day later. Another year goes by and I did the unthinkable. I burned the boats! I didn't just deactivate, but I deleted it. I downloaded an archive of all my old photos and then sent in the request to delete my account. I had to have 14 days of willpower though to stay away(which I did) and now my facebook is completely gone. Life is better this way.

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 6 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Abin : Hey pal! Thanks a lot for those inspiring words.Keep reading and kindly let me know your suggestions in future too.Love ya! :D

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 6 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Wild spirit : Hey frnd, I am so happy that you enjoyed reading my article.And those lyrics...wow I am on cloud nine! Thank you sooo much.God Bless :)

    • arunsiv profile image
      Author

      Arun Sivaraj 6 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Josh : Thanks for your feedback.May you be able to hold on to your decision to stay away from facebook if you think it's carving away your time and life considerably.All the best :)

    • arunsiv profile image
      Author

      Arun Sivaraj 6 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @nickr80 : Thanks for taking your time to read my experiences post facebook deactivation.I am feeling sad that you are still not able to cope with the absence of facebook fun in your life.But strongly I believe that once you find something really worthy and meaningful and that which suits your interests, you will surely be able to find happiness and much more fun in your life.Reading lots of books, writing articles (like I do), visiting a library often, listening to some great music that suits your tastes, learning a new technology - from programming languages to graphic design softwares like photoshop to game development - one at a time and making notes, or basically anything would surely change your views and make your goals and life very realistic and sweet.It's from my experiences I am telling you this though I am not sure whether I am qualified enough to advice you.Please work the way I said for atleast another couple of months and let me know if any positive transformation had happened in your life.Let this be one of your New Year Resolutions for 2017.All the Best.God Bless :)

    • arunsiv profile image
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      Arun Sivaraj 6 months ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      @Andrew : Great! You seem to have made that big decision to fight your life for the better and your motive seems so solid.Do let me know what are your alternative ways you have adopted to "kill time gracefully".In my case, I have started a new facebook account, not to be a victim but to teach my students about social media optimisation as I am working as a Digital Marketing Trainer today.But honestly I dnt feel like sticking onto the facebook walls for hours and neither do I keep scrolling the news feed much.I am even reluctant to add my old "friends" though I receive many requests from them, because for one reason, I know many of them are just fake which time has proved me.And the second reason being I don't want to be surrounded by too much friends again which might be dangerous for many reasons like before.May more people be able to take strong decisions like you friend.God Bless us all :)

    • profile image

      Craig Walsh 46 hours ago

      FB is a complete waste of time.

      Before FB, we managed rather well, we dont need it.

      Real friends will actually call you or write an email.

      FK, I even unistalled Whats App and Telegram.

      If its important, someone will call or text you.

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