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Funny, Silly Facebook Status Updates, Quotes And Sayings

Updated on August 19, 2017
stricktlydating profile image

Hubpages writer StricktlyDating is an Australian writer creating pages of original funny quotes, funny status updates and funny memes.

A page of hundreds of very silly and funny Facebook status updates, funny quotes and sayings to make you and your friends laugh.

Funny, Silly Statuses:

  • I'm such a neat freak I feel bad when I don't empty the trash basket on my laptop.
  • I'm confused about why landlines have a hashtag. Did Grandma do some Tweeting back in her day?
  • How good would it be if a liar's pants really did catch on fire!
  • Looking for me? I'm with stupid. Doing what stupid does.
  • If it doesn't make sense just smile and nod.
  • It's six of one, half a dozen of the other.
  • Today I found out that spring rolls are not just for eating in springtime.
  • I'm not immature I just know how to have fun more than you do.
  • According to my childhood, one out of three pigs is a good builder.
  • What's lighter than blue? Light blue.
  • What's lighter than black? Every color.
  • Smile, while you still have teeth!
  • These instructions would be just as useful if they were written with a blunt pencil.
  • I hate typo's. You mix up a couple of letters and your entire status is urined.
  • Food is an important part of keeping a balanced diet.
  • If I share it I don't have it. So I keep my secret.
  • Today I found out kidney beans do not come from the kidneys of small animals, they are just beans. I had been avoiding eating them up until now.
  • Why do they call it after dark when it's really after light?
  • Why do they call it a pair of pant's when they are not a pair?
  • It goes up and never comes down (Your age).
  • Hard work never killed anyone but why take the chance?
  • You are reading this status even though it's stupid.
  • This just goes to prove, even if I write a silly status update you will read it!
  • Be crazy, be stupid, be wild because life's too short to be cool.
  • Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion.
  • I don't need a therapist. I just need a friend to be silly with.
  • I used to wonder what it would be like to read other people's minds. Then I got facebook.
  • Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
  • Sometimes I pretend to be average, but it gets boring. So I go back to being AWESOME!
  • God grant me the serenity not to look like a fool today.
  • I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
  • Maybe the day doesn't like being seized.
  • Chocolate doesn't ask silly question. Chocolate always comforts.
  • Exercise. A poor man's plastic surgery.
  • Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe it's photoshop.
  • Don't be silly, I'm not mad at you. I just decided to unfriend you (In real life).
  • Don't expect an intelligent answer when you ask a stupid question.
  • I'm at the age where happy hour is my nap time.
  • I'm not stupid... Until you put me in front of a good looking emotionally unavailable man.
  • When my internet is down I forget that the rest of my computer still works.
  • You are the result of 5 billion years of successful evolution. Now act like it.
  • The first step of forgiveness is understanding some people are just stupid.
  • I wasn't that drunk. Dude, you were in the pool trying to find Nemo.
  • Adults are just kids with money.
  • If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
  • A life spent making mistakes is more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
  • It isn't that I'm not a people person. I'm just not a stupid people person.
  • You can't fix stupid. But you can watch it in action. Every day. On Facebook.
  • Yes I did delete you from my friends list. I grew bored of your stupid status updates every 2 minutes, every day.
  • I don't know Karate, but I know CRAZY and I'm not afraid to use it.
  • Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.
  • I don't have a drinking problem. I'm just really thirsty.
  • A day without sunshine is night.
  • My nickname is Billy. Silly Billy.
  • My nickname is Duffa. Silly Duffa.
  • Man is the most intelligent and most silly of all creatures.
  • The truth is I'm not LOL (IMNLOL)
  • Grow up Math. Solve your own problems.
  • There's a certain happiness which comes from being silly.
  • Call me silly but I'd prefer to eat cookies than worry about having a six pack.
  • I was sleeping alone the other night. Thanks to the pest exterminator.
  • Smart Talented Person In Demand (STUPID)
  • We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
  • With the risk of being very stupid, I am taking a chance.
  • It's silly to worry. Half of the things we worry about with never happen, the other half will happen anyway.
  • Author: StricktlyDating Copyright 2013

  • Just the thought of a hamburger makes my mouth water.
  • You don't like eating things that have a face? OK, here's a plate of worms.
  • The thought of wearing jeans that aren't skinny jeans bothers me. I mean what did I used to do with all that extra space around the ankles?
  • I love chocolate so much I get emotional when I see it.
  • I just automatically think you're signing off with lots of love when you type LOL.
  • Apple and Blackberry should team up to make a phone called The Pie.
  • What if oxygen is poisonous and just takes about 80 years to kill us?
  • Call me silly, but haircuts are the reason I have trust issues.
  • Call me silly, but why is it called a TV set where there is only one?
  • Call me silly, but I don't know why the number 11 is not pronounced onety one?
  • My parents still haven't apologized for making me stupid.
  • Keep calm. You're being silly.
  • etc = End Of Thinking Capacity.
  • I am so behind the times I thought YOLO was someone who was friends with J Lo.
  • I have to be serious enough of the time. Silly Tweets always make me smile.
  • No one is going to think you're silly for putting one more haha on the end of your hahahaha!
  • I'm old enough to know better, but silly enough to still do it anyway.
  • You never know what you have. Until you clean your room.
  • When a person laughs too much over stupid things that person is sad deep inside.
  • At school in Australia you earn a licence to use a pen (How stupid).
  • Don't tell me what I already know. I'm not stupid.
  • I wasn't talking nonsense I am just more intelligent than some.
  • I wasn't being silly I was just being creative.
  • I'm silly, I'm smart, I'm fun, I'm crazy. I am enjoying life.
  • It's too cold for this silly nonsense.
  • I'm a little to old for all this nonsense.
  • (S)o (I)'ve (L)oved (L)osers (Y)eah.
  • A little nonsense now and then never hurt anybody.
  • I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.
  • A little nonsense is relished by wise men. Me included.
  • Forgive me my nonsense as I also forgive the nonsens of those who think they talk sense.
  • I am adult enough to walk away from nonsense when it surrounds me.
  • Confucius say. He who sleeps like a baby does not have one.
  • Keep your words soft and sweet, just incase you have to eat them.
  • Be nice to nerds. You might end up working for one someday.
  • What gets wet when drying? A towel.
  • I'm not being stupid - I just know how to party!
  • What belongs to you but others use it more often than you? Your name.
  • My Doctor told me I should not work out until I am in better shape.
  • Anything is possible when you don't know what you're talking about.
  • Totally uninformed, or blissfully unaware. Whether the glass is half full is up to you.

Author: Strickltydating Copyright 2013

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© 2013 StricktlyDating


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    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 9 months ago from Australia

      Thanks Tamara I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    • profile image

      Tamara Moore 9 months ago

      Another funny one! :-)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      some of these are far love ur hubs :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You have a lovely idea for writing all quotes a special and your own way of writing and sharing such quotes a very useful hub.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      "Why is it called a TV set where there is only one?" A line I could use. Thank you for the laughs.

    • aurabuy profile image

      Linda Zhao 4 years ago from ShenZhen

      I'm not silly I just know how to have FUN. Thanks for sharing.