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The Best Thing About Facebook Is…

Updated on May 9, 2011
Evelyn Champagne King
Evelyn Champagne King

I was reluctant to join Facebook for all of the most obvious reasons. I’m not someone who really needs or wants to renew a friendship that supposedly spit graham crackers up on me when we were in kindergarten. Just as I imagine people who win the lottery or are just independently wealthy, I can imagine that they have all sorts of relatives, friends and friends of relatives trying to have a relationship with them. However at the urging of my “LA Gays” I joined Facebook and so it began: The “friend” requests, the adding applications so that I could “throw a snowball” at someone, taking quizzes to prove to everyone that I’m an old gay who knows every movie musical imaginable, adding it to my Iphone so that when someone “pokes” me I can immediately poke them back, the posting and “tagging” someone in an uploaded photo, let’s face it – the list goes on and on. And while I try in my own little way to be a part of this online community that I really don’t care all that much about, today I discovered the best thing about Facebook is… - Don’t Get Me Started!

Are you ready? The best part of Facebook is that you can become a “fan” of someone who is famous. Now while most of you are thinking that I would become a “fan” of Bette Midler or someone of the same ilk, I would say that you just are not imaginative enough…AT ALL. No, the first person I became a fan of was Evelyn Champagne King! You may remember her as being discovered when she was cleaning toilets at a record studio and singing while she swished Mr. Clean about the tidy bowl. She went on to have such stunning hits as “Shame” and perhaps one of my all time favorite disco tunes, “I Don’t Know If It’s Right.” For those of you uneducated on this matter let me assist you in discovering why this tune is so great. The lyrics go, “I don’t know if it’s right. To let you make love to me tonight…iiight…iiight.” How you could NOT love it is just beyond me.

So while I think most people are joining Facebook to reconnect with friends from days gone by or to join a group which I joined when a friend sent it to me that is supposedly going to help Darfur. Now I’m not sure how me clicking to be a member is helping the folks in Darfur but rest assured I clicked and am now part of that clique too.

The thing is that the people who are on Facebook are really ON FACEBOOK. I don’t know how they do it but they seem to manage to be on it every second of every day. You can’t “poke” someone or write on someone’s “wall” without them instantaneously writing you back, poking you or whatever. It’s unnerving and at the same time makes you wonder why and how these people have so much damn time on their hands. And maybe just maybe they could really be helping Darfur or helping with one of the other five million causes here in the US if they weren’t so busy sending “charms” or Ben and Jerry’s electronically through Facebook.

Look, I like Facebook enough to still be on it, right? However I want it absolutely made clear that while I am on the book de face, I have a life and really, I would much rather go have a cup of coffee with someone and actually connect with them than write on their wall. True, it’s good for those pals who are far away and I love that a best pal of mine starting writing all sorts of crap on my wall that she had no idea everyone else would see. My favorite was when she wrote, “Who are all these people who are supposedly your “friends” – I don’t know any of them and I’m your best friend.” Loved it! So while some are on Facebook to socialize, some are on there to get laid and others are trying to reconnect with past schoolmates, playmates, and cast mates, I prefer to use it the way it should be used…a way to be a real live fan of a celeb from days gone by (who are still alive – please, I’m not joining to be a fan of a fan club for someone – tacky). And if I had to start with someone, why not Evelyn Champagne King? “Cause what you do to me is a shame! My Momma just don’t understand…” The best thing about Facebook is… - Don’t Get Me Started!



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    • profile image

      sean 9 years ago

      I know what you mean, exactly. Recently I started a "remember your friends's birthday" app and then instantly regretted sending out all those damn notes to people getting them to use the app too, so that I could send them virtual birthday cards. Meanwhile, the birthday reminders pop up in the right hand column without the extra app ! Don't get me started Indeed !

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      A pal of mine says that he just lets the people pile up in his inbox...makes him feel popular to have so many that want to be "friends" and very powerful to keep them in Facebook limbo. I dunno, I've tried this technique but have too much Jewish guilt to leave too many people in there.

    • Melissa G profile image

      Melissa G 9 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      Yes, I agree! I was just browsing through Facebook last night and I'm blown away at the amount of activity on some people's pages, and the pervasive nature of the applications. My favorite feature on there is the same as dineane's--"ignore all." I do feel a tinge of guilty remorse every time I deny a request to engage in yet another time-draining, virtual activity, but it generally passes pretty quickly.

      Great job with choosing a celebrity to idolize, by the way. :) And you've captured the spirit of Facebook very nicely here.

    • dineane profile image

      dineane 9 years ago from North Carolina

      I thought for sure you were going to say the best thing about Facebook was the "ignore all" button under requests - I use it almost everytime I log in :-)