The Solution to Our Economy, Obesity, and Green Energy Crisis
At times it seems that everywhere one looks there is a crisis. The economy is crumbling. Obesity, and therefore poor health, is climbing. Our weather is going insane, our climate is in jeopardy and our alternate energy sources feel in short supply. At times, looking on all that is wrong, it seems we are on the brink of a total and complete collapse. And no one seems to know what to do about it.
I was pondering just such dilemmas while walking my dog and wishing that the reward for all this walking effort was something more than what would soon fill my small plastic bag. I was not enjoying the walk. Who wants to have a tiring walk in the sun or rain or snow when they could be safe and snug indoors with their television and easy supply of sugar?
Of course I knew this was a problem. I knew I should be exercising. The television had told me so, along with the dire news of our eminent destruction through war, famine, disease, climate change, and I think the battle of good versus evil was in there somewhere as well. We all know the sort of thing we're supposed to do, but when the world seems so threatened on so many fronts, what are we to do?
I walked my dog and I wished I didn't have to. I wished our society was not plagued with so many difficulties. I wished I had more money. Then, as I was walking, I had a sudden revelation. And it didn't come from the dog. The solution to our economy, obesity, and green energy crisis came to me in one simple, finite, and easily applicable solution: treadmills. I still haven't solved the need to walk dogs.
Treadmills, exercise bikes, and other cardiovascular exercise machines. Yes, I know how it sounds: brilliant! You're probably already kicking yourself for not having thought it up first. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. What happens when you step on a treadmill? Aside from the pain, the sweat, the tears, and the cramps? You use up some of your energy. Where does that energy go? The hoped for effect, of course, is that you develop muscle and lose fat...but really, where does that energy go? All that effort to turn a wheel or make a bit of the floor move around. Ultimately, the energy goes nowhere and does nothing. Is that really an effective result for all that effort you put into the machine?
Exercise machines all have the power to generate electricity. Of course, normal exercise equipment also uses energy, and the energy it does produce would not be nearly enough to power even a small town long term, let alone an entire country. But what about a hundred ‘green machines’ that worked solely under the power of the person running, walking, or cycling on them? What about a thousand…a hundred thousand…a million? One million machines…and each machine needs a worker whose only qualification need be that they can move.
Jobs, Electricity, and Fitness; Together at Last!
Think about it! The treadmill makes electricity. This is good green electricity that will in no way hurt our environment. To run the treadmill, we need workers. Well, in theory we could use animals, but who would allow that? Animals, forced to run all day, in some sort of enslaved labor? No, no one would stand for that! We will have to use people instead! I see no possible downside to this.
Of course, the average person won’t be able to run for a full average work day of eight hours straight, five days a week. People would need rests and the average employee would probably settle on a brisk walk rather than a full fledged run. In theory, to keep a single machine running non-stop for twenty-four hours a day, one would need seven to fourteen workers, depending upon how hard they are being worked. Which in turn means that one million machines could generate up to fourteen million jobs.
The economy shall be saved! The Planet shall be saved! They'll have to build more factories just to build more treadmills, and these factories can be run on treadmills! It's a perfect solution!
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Earn Money to Exercise
Still not convinced of all the benefits from this genius solution? After all, the only people getting the health benefits are the new employees of the green machine.
But what about the average person off the street? Someone who doesn't want a career in running or cycling or doesn't have the stamina for it? How could this help them ?
Simple; put green machines in the gyms, in the parks, in the malls and outside stores next to the coke machines and pony rides. The average person can step on, press a button, and start exercising…and for however much energy they put into it, that’s how much money pops out at the end. People will be paid to exercise. With that incentive, who wouldn't be tempted to spend a bit of time at the gym?
Just imagine it. Some poor little obese kid is sadly looking at the sugary stomach-ache awaiting inside a vending machine. He doesn't have enough money for his tin wrapped cavity inducer. But look! Just next to the machine is a treadmill. He carefully reads the warning text, has a quick consult with his doctor who assures him he's fit to tread, and hops on! He huffs and puffs for a full half hour, and out pops a quarter! Just what he needed. Now he can have his sugar fix! This happens day after day. He runs and he jogs and maybe spontaneously realizes he doesn't quite like sugar as much as he thought. Lo and behold, he is no longer a poor little obese kid. He's a happy little slim kid with money jingling in his pockets!
Now imagine someone sadly begging in the park. If she is given enough, she can eat that day. Suddenly, she comes upon a Green Machine! She reads the warning, consults with her doctor, and then hops on. Soon she has enough money to not starve; and it's money she earned herself! It is a machine that keeps on giving. It gives money! It gives health! It gives electricity! And it gives it all to the average person off the street. Who needs a dog for incentive to exercise when there's a machine on ever block offering money?
Everyone is Saved!
And as obesity goes down, health bills go down, and so does the strain on health insurance! This treadmill solution can even save the Affordable Healthcare Act! We also know that exercise reduces stress and depression; the benefits are endless. Happy people are not stabby people! Violent crime will be a thing of the past. Everyone will be smiling and peaceful, and knives and guns will be recycled to make more treadmills! We can even ship out these Green Machines to the rest of the world. The energy crisis is over; even third world countries will have easy access to clean energy. What's more, the world over will be drunk on endorphins and good health. No more war, no more poverty, no more crisis!
Electricity everywhere is provided free of pollution, money is given back to the average person off the street, and millions of jobs pop up with few starting requirements and a lot of room to grow (or slim down, as the case may be). At last, crisis solved, our nation saved, our world saved, and everyone is happy. Seriously. No downside.
Exercise for Electricity
Here's something that really does generate electricity from exercise.
Start something! Get a treadmill!
This one is a manual. Or you can go back to walking your dog. In the rain.
Will Treadmills Save the World?
Are treadmills really the answer to all our problems?
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