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The most annoying people of Facebook: Are you one of them?
It's not eHarmony, but if you want people to actually like you on Facebook. Here are a few tips on how to get there and what not to do in excess
I only joined Facebook about three years ago at the bequest of my former pastor who moved to Kentucky and wanted to keep in touch with all his peeps.
At first it seemed kind of silly to spend time on Facebook chatting with people I could talk to in real life, but then I started connecting with old friends and new ones and learning about local events and it started getting addictive though sometimes annoying, especially when friends posted 40 pictures a day of rescue animals needing homes or photo shopped psychedelic unicorns stating… “You are unique; let your inner light shine.”
Every now and again those things are fine, but when your whole FB wall is taken up by them it seems more like spam and is invasive.
I wondered sometimes if I was one of those annoying people on FB that my other friends complained about. I tried hard not to brag too much, to keep my posts upbeat, to not complain about work or other friends who were not part of my Facebook family and to steer clear of politics unless someone started it first and I just couldn’t resist responding.
I thought about turning Facebook off once, but now my life is so dependent on it for keeping track of work events, charities, get-togethers and meet-ups that I feel lost if I stay logged out for more than a few days. It is sort of like not watching the news and then turning it on to find out China has invaded Russia, only on a much smaller dramatic scale.
If you have ever wondered if you take things too far on social media, check out the following and see if you might be one of the annoying FB friends so many people complain about and see how you might tone it down just a bit or even bring it up a notch to appear more human and user friendly!
The Liker – (some people also call this the Lurker) you rarely post any comments, but you hit the like button on just about everything anyone writes or worst yet, like 36 out of 40 photos in an album rather than just liking the album itself and adding a single comment on how great the photos were, especially the ones of the hotdog eating contest and the 18 photos of the same sunset over the water.
The Promoter – this is the person who uses their private FB page for business purposes. They may either be selling a product, trying to get you to read their blog (most bloggers get paid per view) or asking for donations to a cause they support. There is nothing wrong with promoting your website, your artwork, your charity or yourself as long as you intersperse it with less innocuous posts like “woke up late for work again, can’t get used to daylight saving time”, or a photo entitled, “my attempt at making tuna salad with tofu”. This helps humanize you and makes the promotion of goods seem less innocuous. Mind you sometimes people really want to purchase what you sell or read your blog and donate to your cause, so it’s not all bad, just keep it within reason!
The Gamer – Probably the most despised person on the internet. Game playing used to be really popular, especially among teens, but when adults spend all their time on games and share their results and invite people to join multiple times a day, the majority of Facebookers get annoyed and take a negative view of the game player, despite their skill level. There is nothing wrong with playing games here and there, but they can get addictive and are a time waster, especially when you are supposed to be at work!! Only share with other gamers. Most people are more impressed that you got an A on your algebra test than that you reached level ten on a hard to play game, but it is not wise to boast about either.
The Quiz Taker – (I am guilty of this one) This person takes every quiz on the internet and invites you to join them. They are the first to find the C among the O’s, see the frog turn into a horse head, be most like Harry Potter or Luke Skywalker, score a 10 out of 10 on the Who’s Who in the Bible Quiz or have the perfect personality profile – kind, generous, loyal, courageous – and are not afraid to share it, making you feel stupid or imperfect compared to them. If it makes you feel any better, I totally fail at most math and logic quizzes and my animal match is a hedgehog – I wanted horse or tiger. I think the test was rigged…I want a recount.
Just remember most quizzes are designed to make you look good no matter what option you choose so that you will come back and take more quizzes that tell you how wonderful you are compared to others. They can be as addictive as gaming.
The Doomsdayer – these are the people who only post the dire consequences awaiting us. The oceans are poisoned, global warming is upon us; water from a bottle will cause your testicles to dry up if you have them or make you grow new ones in your brain stem if you don’t. Milk enslaves cows, GMOs will kill the bees and all crops will die, hurricanes will strike central US and floods and droughts and nuclear explosions and killer comets are on the way. Oh yeah, God is Dead too so all hope is gone. Prepare yourself for utter destruction, resistance is futile unless you go all hippy and grow your own, go off the grid and wear hemp clothing. Then you stand a fighting chance at survival. (With my apologies to my dooms day friends, I still love you, but you really need to look at the good in life and ENJOY it…while you can… before the world ends… see I made it all better…)
The Narcissist – oh come on, like you have never thought you were all that and then some? The narcissist takes multiple and frequent pictures of themselves, usually in a somewhat sensual pose or a close up of their face or body parts, not even bothering to put the camera on a timer so it looks like someone else took it and tagged them in it. Some are sneaky about it, like… look at the bruise I got on my well chiseled thigh today when I dropped a 40 pound barbell on me… some are more obnoxious posting a photo with the hash tag “Iambeautiful”, “gorgeous-me”, or “sixpackabs”.
While showing off your new hair cut or posting a before and after picture of yourself with improvements due to diet or exercise is not in poor taste, constantly focusing on how you look and commenting that you think you look fine is. Just post the picture and let everyone else tell you how gorgeous and handsome you are. Chances are if you really are, they will say it, so you don’t have to and then you can act all humble about it the way the rest of us do!
The Compliment Fisher – this person may border on the narcissistic side, but more often posts downers about themselves. “I could only run 8 miles today and planned to run 15. I am such a loser…” or “I studied all night and only got a 92 on my exam. I am crushed!” or “dropped three sizes and still feel like a pig”.
These people, of which I am one, need affirmation that they are not really as bad as they think they are. They may have been put down as children or tried too hard to be perfect to win the affections of others.
If someone actually replied, “yeah, you are still fat and man what a dummy”, we would probably be pretty upset with them! Yet we feel it is in poor taste to compliment ourselves, so toss the line out there hoping someone else will do it for us.
We all slip up and do this inadvertently, not even expecting affirmation sometimes, but it can put an emotional toll on friends who feel they have to boost us up too much.
You also have to consider that some people cannot run one mile, may be lucky to score a 72 on a test and weigh sixty pounds over what they should, so by insulting yourself, you are insulting them as well.
The Poser – Constantly poses in the same way for pictures, either flexing muscles, kissing the camera, putting one leg or shoulder forward or a hand on the hip. I had so many photos of me with my head tilted to the left with a half smile that I looked like I was on Prozac and in need of a chiropractor. We all want to look good in photos, but don’t be afraid to be natural. You may think you look awful, but I guarantee, for the most part, your friends will think you look great.
The Quoter – Famous quotes can be a great way to brighten up FB and get people thinking, but if that is all you post, then people tend to think you are putting on airs and wonder if you have any original thoughts of your own. It is especially bad if you post a quote but do not attribute it to the person who wrote it! You may think that posting intellectual quotes makes you look like an intellectual, but in truth, posting your own intellectual ponderings does a better job of it. A pithy quote or Bible verse here and there or a funny cartoon or meme is great, but you can make yourself more human by actually sharing part of your life with others rather than posting what someone else wrote.
The my-child-is-the-greatest – by all means post pictures of your children and let people know their accomplishments, but go easy on the bragging rights and be cautious about saying things like “a family without children is not a family”. While some of your friends may have chosen to be single or childless, others may be longing for a spouse and children and feel inadequate if they have neither. Stagger your posts so as not to overwhelm others. Most people think your child is just as great as you do and enjoy seeing their successes, but the way you present it can make the difference in whether people perceive it as welcoming them into your family or turning it into a competition to see whose child is best. It is not about genetic conquest of the universe and superior gene exchange, it is about loving your child and wanting to share that joy with others.
She loves me/She loves me not – Ever had a friend who posted they were in a relationship and you were so happy for them and then you noticed they were not in a relationship, they go all quiet and then they are back with… I am so in love… then post that men or women stink and then are back in love and getting engaged only to break it off again? If you have a rocky love life, it is often better not to share your status until you are sure that this one is the right one. While your friends have your back no matter what, it wears them down to deal with your drama especially if they are friends with the person or persons you keep falling in and out of love with. Love hurts, but you don’t have to share the pain over and over and over again.
While some people say it doesn't matter how anyone feels about you and that if they have issues with you it is their problem not yours (which holds some truth), the majority of us are all too keenly aware that the way we present ourselves on social media has a large impact on the way people see us in public as well, but you shouldn't be obsessed by it.
As long as you keep things in balance you will be fine. Facebook is a powerful tool that can enhance your social life and your career as well as help you keep track of what is going on in your neighborhood and in the world.
No matter what you do you will probably end up annoying someone even when you don't intend it. If you post your breakfast of a spinach and kale smoothie, someone is going to roll their eyes and think you are crazy or get their feelings hurt because they think you are saying they are inferior and undisciplined because they eat Lucky Charms for breakfast instead of quinoa and chia seeds.
Go ahead and be the real you. Chances are your real friends love you for being who you are, annoying or endearing, or a maybe a little of both, but if you find yourself getting more annoying than endearing, you might want to try a little harder to achieve a balance.
Don't let your problems become your friend's problems and do as much to make your friends look good on Facebook as you do to make yourself look good and people will appreciate you all the more.