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Therapy Needed For Twitter Addicts

Updated on August 13, 2009


I am not on Twitter and I don’t expect myself to be on it anytime soon. I feel as though all the “social networking” sites are really just making all of us more and more anti-social but when Twitter went down last week there were many who apparently felt “naked” along with other emotions that normally are only associated with the mentally unstable. Therapy needed for Twitter addicts! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Look, I’m obviously a technophile, I have a website, I have the farchachta latest iPhone so I know what it’s like when a piece of technology that we’ve grown to rely on lets us down. I’ve spent the hours trying to figure out why my computer isn’t doing this or that. I’ve cursed the heavens as I look up and discover that my hard drive has crashed and I never had a backup (like my brother the IT professional told me time and time again to do). But come on kids, not being able to type in 140 characters about basically nothing important is a reason for a Xanax and an appointment with your therapist?

I venture to say that if you are that hung up on your Twitter account that perhaps it’s time to start de-Twittering yourself. As I said, I don’t even know how it works so I’m not sure how you get off the junk. Can you get a patch on your arm or do you need to go into a whole reparative therapy situation at a group home? Whatever it is I can tell you this, sending stuff out into cyberspace may be therapy in itself for you as a way of purging your recent frustration but I learned the hard way that once you put something out there you can never take it back. Much like that relationship with the person who promises to forgive but can never forget, you don’t know who has gotten a hold of what you typed into the Internet Universe nor what someone else is going to do with it.

I find it almost comical that in today’s society that Twitter has become the new PR agent. As Paula Abdul Tweets that she isn’t going back to American Idol, it immediately goes out onto the Internet Super Highway and then the supposed news sources pick it up from Twitter and report it. I wonder where the next stop is to this constant vomiting of information. When I joined MySpace I never understood why it was so great as it seemed to take forever to update anything so it took any fun or joy out of it for me. Account closed. When I joined Facebook it went faster and almost immediately everyone I thought I had gotten rid of in my life from high school found me and I found it fun until everyone started throwing imaginary snowballs at me, trying to “kidnap” me and then asking me to join their “mafia war.” I don’t know who these people are who have nothing to do all day that they spend their time constantly updating their status and playing farm games but I know this will never be me. Now it’s Twitter with its limit of the amount of characters you can use. So honestly, what is next? Is it a “social network” where you can only use one word as I’ve said before? If that’s the case I’m choosing the word nougat just because I like the sound of it. Am I living in a land that time forgot that I would rather communicate with someone on a phone or over a cup of coffee in person instead of writing on one another’s “walls?” Should I be using a quill because I have great aunts who are in their nineties who don’t know anything (or care anything about) the Internet so we correspond through the mail? (Or what is now disparagingly called “snail mail.” And can someone tell me what the snails ever did to anyone?)

Look, I’m glad that so many people have so much time on their hands that they can drive cars, text, talk on the phone and kill people left and right all at the same time by their reckless inability to pay attention to what the hell they’re doing but come on people, at the risk of sounding like your parent, isn’t there something more useful you could be doing with your time? Go feed the homeless or reconnect with someone that you stop talking to and can’t even remember why. Do something that actually enriches yourself or someone else. It’s not so much technology taking over our world as much as it is us giving our lives over to technology.

And most importantly, let’s all just take a moment and breathe shall we? No one is going to die because Twitter goes down, in fact is there anything really important going on there that simply HAS to be published? I think not. But if your USB ports and your panties got in a wad over the recent Twitter situation then join a group for therapy needed for Twitter addicts! – Don’t Get Me Started!

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      Yvonne Masters 8 years ago