ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Top 10 Epic Phail PC Technologies: Bluetooth

Updated on May 25, 2009

To apply the vernacular of the modern online PC enthusiast: Bluetooth is an Epic Phail. Why?

To this day if you ask the majority of PC users about Bluetooth, they'll imagine some backwoods Redneck hick with one rotten blue tooth sticking out from behind his chapped lips. They won't necessarily equate that term with wireless communications, and that is only the tip of the iceberg behind Bluetooth's Epic Phaildom.

The basic idea on paper sounds good: Our technological lives are damned by wires. Wires, wires, everywhere. At one point, I had my main PC, a laptop, and a small server box on my desk, along with my cell phone charger, a camera, a printer, a scanner, and a couple of other tech-y wonders.

The back of my desk looked like an elongated buffet plate of spaghetti, as all it needed was some meatballs, tomato sauce and parmesan cheese for the dinner bell. There must have been thirty wires all jumbled up back there, steadfastly resisting any efforts to order them with twist ties or vinyl straps. Bluetooth was supposed to free us from the tyranny of spaghetti junction cabling and wiring. The communication interface would be wireless so presto pronto poof and you can see your desk again.

Technology is a stern mistress and there have been many promising young technologies which end up on the boulevard of broken tech dreams. Sometimes it is the fault of the standard itself, which is either too esoteric, too arcane, outright doesn't work, or is a great solution for a problem that doesn't exist.

In Bluetooth's case, it was the fault of the individual manufacturers. No sooner did they get their nasty little paws on the specification that they started stacking on all sorts of customization which was specific to their own particular set of devices.

They justified that by stating that it would make their own products superior and effective, but it turned out that they failed to consider that the consumer is not just a lamb being led to the tech slaughter: We like to consider a wide range of brand names when purchasing new equipment, and with all the Bluetooth customization it turned out that a device from Brand A would not talk to a device from Brand B.

So while Bluetooth was supposed to bring a universally compatible standard it turned out to create a galaxy of niche incompatibilities: a Balkanization of wireless communication, rendering the overall experience very close to useless.

Bluetooth has now been limited basically to a bunch of annoying yuppies chattering nonstop into their silly Star Trek TOS earpieces about how their latest bravado exploits on the stock market, at the BMW dealership, or at the Chlamydia test lab while you're trying to enjoy your Venti Coffee Frappuccino with whipped cream and trying real hard not to hork into your plastic cup.

That's not what Bluetooth was supposed to be. It was originally intended to be a replacement for aforesaid spaghetti junction. It was imagined to be the first step towards the truly wireless desktop: All we needed to do was to reinvent Nikola Tesla's technology which transmitted electricity through the air without any wires or connections, and then we could just walk into a room, unpack a PC case, monitor, keyboard, mouse, printer, speakers, etc., plunk them on the table and start working sans connections of any kind.

It seems that it was going to be easier to incorporate Tesla electric wireless transmission tech than Bluetooth wireless communications tech into our everyday PCing lives. Thanks for nothing, Bluetooth. Next time, try naming yourself something that even remotely makes sense!

Continued in:

Top 10 Epic Phail PC Technologies: Firewire


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)