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Top 10 Epic Phail PC Technologies: Virtual Reality

Updated on May 25, 2009

To apply the vernacular of the modern online PC enthusiast: Virtual Reality is an Epic Phail. Why?

Who among us has not dreamed of parading around the Enterprise-D's holodeck, which by simply speaking a couple of short commands into The Arch creates a completely real world according to your own specifications and preferences: whether it be a jaunt with Robin Hood and his Merry Men through the forests of Sherwood; a walk on a sandy, golden, secluded South Pacific beach with a bikini clad loving supermodel; or even the prospect of removing said supermodel's bikini and engaging in a sensual marathon of computer coitus until the sun rises again on that spectacular Polynesian horizon?

Johnny Mnemonic, Strange Days, Disclosure, Lawnmower Man... the list of futuristic Virtual Reality Hollywood hype fests is considerable, but the reality has fallen way short of the science fiction fantasy. Virtual Reality today is a clunky, artificial, and unconvincing mess, burdened by ungainly headwear and all of the actual world visual reality of PacMan.

Gobble, gobble, gobble... ploink.

Virtual Reality is such an Epic Phail that its adoption rate speaks volumes about its effectiveness: Next to Zero. After all, who the heck is going to plunk on two pounds of electronic glasses or a massive helmet that looks like a cross between a full coverage Bell and Robby The Robot's head in order to not be fooled by lousy graphics that jiggle and shudder and look as realistic as spending the afternoon at the corner house in Sims 2?

The fact that even the gaming community has Phailed in adopting Virtual Reality is an extremely telling point. Virtual Reality would seem to be perfectly conceived to cater to the preferences and aptitudes of countless millions of lettuce heads who zombie their cerebellums into submission by all night splatter fests of gristly shoot em ups. Yet the vast majority of gamers stick to essentially the same interface that would have been used on an Amiga 500: A 2-D monitor, keyboard, mouse, and maybe a joystick. Whoopdee crap.

Virtual Reality enthusiasts and evangelists promoted their technology as the solution to an endless number of business challenges. Soon we would be manipulating spreadsheets with our hands Minority Report style, navigating our desktops in a multifaceted sphere, and cruising through an Internet that resembled The Time Tunnel more than it would the current avalanche of black type on white backgrounds. Yeah, and we all know what happened to that fantasy: today's personal computer paradigm is essentially no different than any passive reader experience was in Victorian times. You look at a white 2 dimensional background with lots of text and some images here and there. Again... Whoopdee crap.

Will the day arrive when we wave our hands Harry Potter Wizard style and are able to photo edit an image, copy a movie onto a BluRay, or find that elusive braciole recipe we've been looking for? It very well may, but I doubt that anyone reading this Hub today is going to be alive when it finally does happen. Virtual Reality truly is a Phail of Epic proportions, and will likely continue to be so for at least a generation.

What a terrible shame and Epic Phail!

Continued in:

Top 10 Epic Phail PC Technologies: Vista

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    • Hal Licino profile image

      Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto

      It was one heck of a machine for the day. It incorporated blitter chip technology that was years ahead of its time for image processing.

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 8 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      I remember the Amiga.