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Irritating IT 101

Updated on September 17, 2014

Welcome to Irritating IT 101

Tech support is considered low on the totem pole. Well lets just say they are about as low as it gets. Tech support is expected to diagnose and correct technical, and computer issues over the phone, or in the office with as little information as you are willing to offer. Most of the time you arent even in the office after submitting a ticket saying “Help my computer doesn’t work”, or the famous “I think the internet just went out”.


So let’s dive into 4 great ways to irritate your tech support team even further. Just in case you didn’t know how to in the first place.


1 Vague Requests

If you are going to call for help it is best practice to only include the most general details possible. This ensures that your tech team spends an ample amount of time on your issue and no one elses that day. Vague requests results in hour of time being spent on a machine running tests, and its especially productive when all this machine needed was an Adobe Flash update.


Rules when submitting a request:

  • Only use your initials when filling out the form. “Trust us we know your name”

  • Do not include your room number. “ Why would we need a room number our computers have already detected your location”.

  • Do not describe things in plain english, only use technical language even if you don't understand it. “I love hearing how when you opened a picture of your niece yesterday that it destroyed the link to your directory, and cleared out your proxy settings and ip address.”

HELP!

Sample Ticket
Sample Ticket | Source

Looks like a broom closet, but that's an empty office.

That empty #officelife .
That empty #officelife . | Source

2. Empty Office

Most of the time tech support will give you a time they will be in your office, and if the company does not have a policy like that it is because they can usually handle the workload in a timely fashion and be in the room that day. Be sure to leave the office or classroom before the technician arrives, and if you must stay until he arrives leave in the middle of his work. In all cases do not leave time frames or windows in which you will be in your classroom/office.


“We enjoy peace and quiet having you there will only interrupt our process. Any questions or logon information is irrelevant when we enter your classroom. we know the credentials of all employees.”


3. Fail to Restart

In or under no circumstances are you to restart your machine at any time. Restarting a frozen computer, or a computer that is just acting strange is a horrible mistake. This could fry the motherboard, or erase the hard drive. That button on the front of the computer was created to launch a lockdown sequence for your business, and it also calls the FBI. So i repeat do not restart your computer in an attempt to solve your issues.


“ We are happy to come and perform our tests, and it just makes our day when we turn your computer off, and the on again to find out thats all that was wrong. If you tried this you might break something.”


How to restart windows 7

Look that's how you restart windows 7 amazing.
Look that's how you restart windows 7 amazing. | Source

Some plugs are also color coded.

Not only are the shapes there, but they are color coded as well.
Not only are the shapes there, but they are color coded as well. | Source

4. Failure to Check Cords.

In no way shape form or fashion is it okay for a standard employee that has not been trained as a computer technician to mess with any cords. Even if the power cord is sitting on the floor please contact your helpdesk immediately and let them know your computer is just dead, and they need to come replace it immediately so that you may return to shopping on amazon.


“After all computer support understands that plugging an ethernet cord a usb or a power cord is nothing like matching shapes. You know that game that all infants play where they put the circle in the circular hole and the square through the square hole, well this is completely different.”

In Conclusion

If you can rule out these four things you can make a technician's life so much easier, and that would be blasphemy. Keeping your technician doing tasks that a monkey can do keeps him in that spot at the bottom of that totem pole, and its your job to ensure it remains that way. When the really big issues come up be sure to blame them for all things such as outages, or hardware failure.


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