Tricky Text Messages and How to Reply
Six Billion Text Messages are Sent Daily
Text Messages are Taking Over Communication
Love it or hate it, texting has been one of the largest forms of communications world wide. More people own cell phones than ever before. Cell phones are become faster, smarter, and more sleek. With texting happening so often, there's bound to be that tricky situation. Some of us have used texting to get out of them i.e. lying and saying our mom's texted and wanted us home early. But what happens when you're cell phone is the reason you got in the sticky situation? There are several text messaging dilemmas you could find yourself in. We're going to go over some problems and solutions with each one.
One Word Answers
We've all experienced the occasional "k", "yeah", or some other obnoxiously short replying. Maybe you've even across the occasional person that only uses one word answers all the time, which can make it very hard to reply or keep a conversation. The worst is pouring your heart out to somebody in a long text messages and then feeling the disappointment when they reply with "IKR" (I know right?) instead of the heart felt reply you were expecting. But what do one word answers mean? And what on earth can you reply back with?
- They don't feel like talking or are busy
- If it's the opposite sex, they just might not be into you
- They're angry
- They're just a lame texter
There's really no way to be sure with this one. If it's the opposite sex or somebody you like, use your gut instinct to figure out this one. It doesn't always mean they don't like you back but could feel guilty if they just ignored you. Usually people that like you will make an effort to talk to you. They could just be having a bad day. If it appears to be more than an occasional occurrence, could it just be the kind of texter they are? Maybe they are that unlucky person still stuck with a flip phone in 2015.
- Don't ask what's wrong, instead you could try saying "You seem busy, you could text me later if you want?" And see if they actually text you back. If they do, it's a good sign.
- If you feel like something IS wrong, you could say something along the lines of "You don't sound like yourself, you can call me if you ever want to talk"
- If they're just that kind of texter, there's not much you can really do. Observe their texting patterns in person, have you witnessed them typing out long replies to other people or is it just you? If they are a lame texter, you could always try suggesting skype.
"If You Want"
Some people can be super passive aggressive even through text. It can be frustrating, especially if you want to know what they want. Sometimes you just want to hear that they'd love to go to the movies with you or get that cold-hearted rejection rather than trying to guess what they want and having to be cautious with your words. Some other similar texts: "It's up to you." "Any time is good for me" or " Whatever you want to do."
- They don't want to make a serious commitment
- They really don't care, but not necessarily in a bad way
- They want to hang out but won't be heart broken if it doesn't happen
Serious commitment doesn't refer to relationship so don't be too disappointed just yet. Does this person seem busy? Perhaps they attend college, work several jobs, have kids, or just have a busy schedule. There's always a chance they want to leave it to you so you don't have to work around them. Chances are good though that whatever is being talked about, they feel neutral. This isn't something they want or don't want to do, but don't mind doing.
- "I want to but I want to make sure you want to too" Should get the point across. Don't be afraid to let them know it is what you want. Don't leave room for "if's"
- "If you could pick what would you want to do?" This sounds like genuine curiosity, but will give them a chance to think of something. Hopfully they don't reply with "idk"
- Make a plan and time and ask them if that's okay. If they really don't care, then you can take the reigns and make the plans.
So there's somebody you've been flirting with through text for a while. Flirting through text can be fun because you can say things you'd never say in real life. It's like a confidence boost. Flirting can seem innocent at first with compliments and those heart fluttering ;) faces. But you might reach that point of asking for a sexy picture or even receiving one out of the blue. It can be a tricky situation if you're clueless and never done it before, don't want to take the risk of pictures leaking, or just didn't want it to go this far.
- "You're beautiful, can i see the rest of you too?" chances are they will be somewhat tasteful on the wording. The compliment is used to butter you up and lure you in.
- "Wanna trade pics?" It may seem like an innocent question but are you prepared to what it might escalate to?
- "Tell me what you'd want to do if you and I were alone" Is a way to ask to describe a hook up without being too blunt.
When flirting turns to sexting just keep a few things in mind. Sending nudes is illegal if you're under 18. Text messages are floating around out there in cyber space and you can get in trouble. Sexting is only advisable to adults old enough to make decisions and feel completely comfortable doing it and trust the other person with private information. If you are going to it then you really don't need help with responses. But if you don't want to no matter what the reasoning is, there's an easy way out.
- Just say no. The other person should respect you enough if you don't want to send nudes. You don't need to give them a reason or defend yourself. If you don't want to, just say no.
- Just be honest. If you like them and want to give them a reason, you could always tell them you haven't before or think you should wait till you know each other better. It may seem awkward but honesty is the best policy.
"I love You"
We save the trickiest text message for last. In any situation, love is never perfect or easy. Over text, that's making it even harder. Sometimes feelings are a hard thing to explain or talk about. In my opinion, those three little words mean much more in person and it seems like a cop out. Still, seeing it flash across your screen might make you feel a lot of different things. If you already have a long term relationship with this person, it's probably expected that they say it over text (and should in person too) but if you're "hearing" them say it the first time over text, it might seem scary. What if you don't have those levels of feelings yet?
- I want to be with you forever.
- I'm so happy that i'm yours/you're mine
- I love you
All of these are pretty big statements not to take lightheartedly. It is a very big milestone in a relationship, especially saying i love you. It's a special things that shouldn't be said because you think it should, but only if it feels right. You really adore this person but don't want to say I love you just yet.
- "We should talk about this in person. :)" Sounds kind of cheesy, but the smiley face will let them know that they didn't say the wrong thing, but give them the hint you don't want to say it back.
- "If you really mean it, tell me in person." Because if they can't say it in person then chances are they might be confused about their feelings too.
- "I'm really happy to hear that. <3 I care about you so much. Saying the L word is a big step for me though. We should be sure we mean it when we say it to each other." Probably you're best option here. It will let the other person you do care and ensure they don't take it the wrong way when you don't say it back. it will also give you a chance to figure out your feelings.