What Is 63336? And Is the Illuminati Involved?
Watch the 63336 Ad
Is 63336 part of a diabolical plot for world domination?
In 2009, 63336 ignited flames of controversy among conspiracy theorists when it released its first TV ad in the UK. Terrified legions decried the commercial across the internets, denouncing it as a ploy by the Illuminati, the secret Satanic society pulling the strings of governments across the world (apparently).
Why the hysteria? Well, the music does have an Omen-esque quality to it. And the number 63336 looks like if you just added and subtracted and creatively jigged around a few numbers then took away the number you first thought of, you'd end up with 63336, the biblical mark of the Beast, aka Satan. Oh, and 63336 claims to know everything. "We each have special knowledge," announce these rather alien-looking beings in the ad. "We are a network of minds." Each has a tattoo of the 63336 logo, an all-seeing eye with a pyramid in the centre.
Is any more proof needed that 63336 is a front for the Illuminati, a cult of Devil-worshipping baby sacrificers colluding with the Freemasons, the Roman Catholics, Barack Obama and possibly even that evil man from Harry Potter with the face on the back of his head to take over the world? The case would seem unassailable.
So what does 63336 do?
Oh, dear. If only 63336 were so exciting. The reality is impressive, but really, what explanation could compete with theories of occult conspiracies? While 63336 researchers probably wish the job benefits included orgies, virgin sacrifice and the like, in turns out it's just a good way to earn money answering people's questions.
Users text any question to 63336 (UK only) and receive an answer, usually within a few minutes, occasionally longer if the question is something ridiculously complex. You can ask just about anything. Where's a good restaurant open now near Pimlico? Who was that man with the funny hairstyle in that comedy on Channel 4 last night? Should I quit my job? How many goals did Maradonna score in his career? How can I get rid of these itchy blobs on my [insert name of embarrassing body part]?
Sometimes, 63336's customers are seriously desperate, like the British couple 63336 helped rescue after they got lost in a jungle in Thailand. Other times, customers are just bored and curious, like the one who asked which breakfast cereal could be made into the best pair of trousers. (Shreddies were apparently a safer bet than Shredded Wheat.)
As of December 2010, it costs £1.50 to send a text (2 euros in Ireland, where the number is 57275), and there's no further charge for the answer. An essential service if you're dying to know who that feller is, the one you just saw on TV and whose name is on the tip of your tongue. Or if you missed the last bus home and need the number of a taxi. Or, indeed, if you're stuck in a Thai jungle and can't speak a word of the local lingo.
If you're too clever to need 63336, but you're also a freelancer who fancies earning a bit of extra money, 63336 has vacancies from time to time for those who pass the (fiendishly difficult) entrance exam.