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Sick Of Google?: The Best I Hate Google Stuff Ever

Updated on December 30, 2010

Google, I hate you! (But I want YOU to love ME!)

Do you resent the fact that "Google" has become a verb? Sick of SEO? Tired of obsessing over PageRank? Wish you could quit Google, but secretly crave Google's attention and acceptance?  You're not alone!

I hate myself for loving you (my Google rant)

by hmsweaver

Before you flame me and call me a hypocrite, let me disclose a few things. Yes, I use Google's products. I love that I can see my house from space with Google Earth! I've used Adsense and Adwords, and I still use Blogger, Gmail, etc. In all likelihood, I will continue to use Google products. Google is everywhere, and most of the stuff is free -- how can I help it?

But it's getting out of hand. I think about Google all the time -- keywords, backlinks, SEO strategies... What will Google think if I do this? Will Google like that? What if that makes Google mad? I don't want to upset Google!

But I hate that I HAVE to do that! Google's looming Google-icious omnipresence gets on my nerves and under my skin, and I hate myself for having to love Google, especially when Google gives no evidence of loving me in return. Some days it seems like Google loves me, and other days, Google turns all fickle and ignores me for no apparent reason. It's maddening!

Some days, I just want to break up with Google. I want Google to take all his stuff and get out, and leave me alone with my own quiet life. And I can make my place just the way I like it, without having to worry about what Google will think.

But then I'm jerked back to reality. I can't live without Google. Nobody will like me if Google doesn't like me. I'm nothing without Google.

And then I'm back to where I started. I hate myself for loving Google. I hate Google for making me love him. Google, come back! I didn't mean it! Call me!

Suggested therapies for your Google-aches and pains

  • Acknowledge your frustrations over the Google-ization of everything.
  • Read what some clever anti-Googlers are doing in rebellion.
  • Check out the latest anti-Google blog rants.
  • Wear your feelings on your sleeve (or chest, or head) with some anti-Google apparel.
  • Uninstall your Google toolbar.
  • Do a search for something, using anything but Google search.

This cow hates Google

An exercise in futility? Trying to improve your Google PageRank? - good luck...

PageRank is a major cause of headaches for many webmasters and marketers. Here are some resources that may or may not provide useful information on the mystery of Google's page rank algorithms.

Think you should quit Google?

If you dare to try, here are some links that might help.

Your turn: Am I right?

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    • profile image

      kyle-hill-7965692 3 years ago

      @anonymous: Social networking caters to the lowest common denominator crowd that only cares about silly things. Very little academic research is done thru social networking and you are more likely to get that thru blogs but even then the bigger the blog the more likely the are roped into the Globalism societies.

    • profile image

      kyle-hill-7965692 3 years ago

      @anonymous: I think since 2006 Google has become a shadow of their former self.

    • profile image

      kyle-hill-7965692 3 years ago

      I'm going to flat out tell you that hypocrites like you ruin it for those that see the big picture of where we are heading as a society and it's NOT for our best interest.

      There are major groups both hidden and not so hidden that all have the same agenda of global power and all lead to dictatorship style rulings and NONE of them give a rats ass about the Constitution and do their best to bypass it.

      Some even go as far as trashing it outright!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Man I love your lens's first line "Google, I hate you! (But I want YOU to love ME!)" awesome article.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      MARYCATHERN. I CAN'T STAND GOOGLE!!! I PERFUR BING ANY

      DAY OF THE WEEK AND IT'S SAD THAT PCH IS HOOKED UP WITH GOOGLE BOO HISS

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I have been a user from Google since their day one. I opened my Gmail account on the first month Google started to provide their services by invitation. Until 30 days ago, I had absolutely no issues with them. That was until I needed their help! My Gmail account (that I use heavily) stopped working and I have been trying for the last 30 days to find someone at Google to help. Good luck with that! I tried opening TS tickets, posting on their Users forum, etc. Total and completely disregard for their users. I understand that they don't charge for their services, but they still make money by reading my emails and using that for marketing. There is absolutely no excuse for their disregard to their users!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I finally freed myself of all things Google. I use uStart instead of iGoogle and have also dropped Gmail. I also use the various Google Play Store alternatives out there for my Android apps. I have to say it's one of the better Internet related things I've done in a while. No nagging and a whole lot less tracking and intrusions. When I think Google, I think Microsoft. We don't need another control-freak company domination. And I don't do social networking, I think that's the scourge of the Internet. Drop Google today, you'll feel liberated tomorrow!!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      See Mad Magazine Summer issue Google spoof. It's all true!!

      It should be circulated. Maybe that will get Googles attention.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Google...I want my damn background image back you evil suctard search engine. If I find a search engine that will let me have a background image I will switch!!!!!

    • sasta10 lm profile image

      sasta10 lm 5 years ago

      Google is the king of all search engine. I use Google analytic for seo purpose, Google provides a lot of useful tools which can be used to improve the seo side of your website. I think Google will dominate for a long long time

    • profile image

      Ihategoogle 5 years ago

      googles âwebspam teamâ needs to be taken out and beat, tarred and feathered, shut down, they have effectively taken what was once a decent search tool and turned it into a pile of shit, screw google, I hope they all die.

    • PaigSr profile image

      PaigSr 5 years ago from State of Confussion

      First the dislike - That is the continual Google Chrome in the upper right hand corner. If I want it I will download it. If I have closed it don't have it coming back over and over.

      Second the like - The way Google is drawn. It is not always just the word by itself.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Finally, an unbiased search engine! http://www.cataboo.com

    • elibenporat profile image

      elibenporat 5 years ago

      More right than you know. Google has a never-ending quest to control every aspect of our digital life to the point that it will attempt to consume the market share of their "partners".

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      What to do against greedy Internet saurians?

      The Internet is guzzled by greedy Internet saurians. Their names are like Googles and Apples. But what is the feed of these Internet saurians? Yes, it's their ads, which make the money for them! So how can you, the user, stop it? Cut off the flow of money? Do not feed the saurians any more?

      There is an instrument for that purpose out on the Internet universe. It is called AdblockPlus in, in short ABP. You'll find it at http://adblockplus.org Just click on "Install Adblock Plus" to integrate it in your Firefox or Chrome Browser (there are actually some more uncommon browsers which will work too).

      So ABP is the ideal instrument to cut the feed for the greedy Internet saurians off. But one should use this instrument with care. The small and medium Internet business exist from ads too. And we should not cut their feed off! That kind of population is needed for a healthy Internet environment. So if you use ABP just in the standard way, using one of the already available filterlists, you should carefully check who's feed you cut off. And you should establish a lot of exceptions for websites form small and medium enterprises.

      Therefore it is best, to do it the other way round: do not use any of the available filterlists and create your own filters. The main purpose of such filters then is not the blocking of ads, but to cut off the flow of money to the greedy Internet saurians. To cut the money of the Googles we need just two filter lines:

      google.com##OL[style="margin-top:-11px"]

      google.com##OL[style="padding:3px 0"]

      Believe it or not, but these two lines will cut off the cash flow to google! Maybe someone else can add some more lines for the other greedy Internet saurians ...

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have had those days unfortunately when I wished I could take Google and slam it against the wall:-)

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I have had those days unfortunately when I wished I could take Google and slam it against the wall:-)

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      bet you got those anti-google-links from google

    • Blueterrace profile image

      Blueterrace 6 years ago

      We got Google banned. We were badly affected by the recent Bangkok floods and ran a "Flood Recovery" campaign. However our Google ads ran to a page that included a link to our "Flood Recovery" campaign on Facebook. This was enough to get us banned and ... you can see a blog of our Google Horror story here: http://www.google.co.uk/support/forum/p/AdWords/th...

    • Blueterrace profile image

      Blueterrace 6 years ago

      We got Google banned. We were badly affected by the recent Bangkok floods and ran a "Flood Recovery" campaign. However our Google ads ran to a page that included a link to our "Flood Recovery" campaign on Facebook. This was enough to get us banned and ... you can see a blog of our Google Horror story here: http://www.google.co.uk/support/forum/p/AdWords/th...

    • Blueterrace profile image

      Blueterrace 6 years ago

      Good lens....Google is evil.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I hate google because I am giving the new search engine www.doodalie.com a try. It's a NEW beginning. Everyone should support it. It's time to build something NEW.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I Hate Google... Put up a notice on one of my sites that we "No longer recommend Google", because of the personal and location tracking that you can not opt out of.

      Google now hates me...

    • PropheticBlogge1 profile image

      PropheticBlogge1 6 years ago

      I can remember in the early days of the internet when no one used Google. It has become a monster!! I wish that Google would just return to being a plain old fashioned search engine!! Great lens, very insightful and very amusing.

    • ananimoss2 profile image

      ananimoss2 6 years ago

      Yep! I agree!

    • profile image

      CalamariFritti 6 years ago

      Great lens. I can't say that I hate Google, but it isn't too fond of me anymore. After working countless hours to improve my ranking for a certain keyword on my main site, Google has instead booted it off page 2 of the search results down to nearly page 4. Where's the love Google?? Bing and Yahoo put me close to the top of page 1, why ya gotta play me like that G?

      Anyway, great topic.

    • profile image

      andreloxas 6 years ago

      Great article.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      @patrunjel lm: Google is a corporation

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I think Google has turned itself on its head. The Google tools like gmail, gvoice etc. have become the quality products but their primary business model product, search has become poor and manipulated by how deep the pockets of those creating websites can go.

      Search rankings are not for the weak of heart anymore, you need to create a visually appealing site, SEO maxxed out site, backlink like its your life's work, advertise against the Walmarts, Staples and Best Buy's of the world and still maintain "unique" content when there are over 20mil+ websites out there doing the same "unique" content. All those things cost money and the aforementioned retail giants of the world are spending that money as well. Who do you think will win?

      Google has positioned themselves nicely to rake in the dough from the fat cats while punishing the startups or one-man shows or small businesses looking to make it in the world wide web. In this poster's opinion its disgraceful and what's worse is that businesses look to Google as the model to reproduce.

      The web was supposed to be equal footing for everyone, it simply isn't anymore. Although the information on the web is free to access (not counting ISP charges) it is FAR from free to get noticed or do business online, thanks to the Google tactics.

    • profile image

      yourgoldenfuture 6 years ago

      Google is not just google... in the net i can't live without it anymore... but that's not a good feeling...feeling of helplessness...

    • turner-bob profile image

      turner-bob 6 years ago

      Interesting lens but why do you assume google is male? I would think google would be genderless :-)

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      @anonymous: I can recommend hushmail, if you need a free secure email account.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Google greed no good for anyone.

      Google Statisitics according to the U.K.'s Sunday Times Newspaper 20.12.2009 :-

      2008 UK EARNINGS : £1.6BN

      TAX PAID on £1.6 BN Earnings : Any guesses? This is amazing but true...

      JUST A MISERLY £141,519! This equals 0.000008% of their earnings! Most everyone else has to pay tax of 20-30 % plus.

      They avoided paying £450 million in UK Tax by sending the money to Google Ltd in Ireland...

      That's enough money to fund 3 NHS hospitals.

      The behaviour of this company continues to reach new lows. Debate these facts:

      1. It has an economic unfair advantage: Google is putting UK companies and jobs at risk for those in the advertising industry through it's tax advantage (saving est. £450m in the UK in 2008). This allows them unfair advantages in anything from enabling them to pay and retain key staff through higher salaries to increasing their market presence. Other British advertising companies have to pay tax - we all do - and this legal loophole allowing Google to push UK earnings through Ireland, is symptomatic of a company that has become arrogant as seen by:

      (It's greed in China ($600m revenues) is finally being tested. They are about to go ahead and stop filtering Chinese search results. The Chinese Gov't will not be cooperative).

      2. More importantly for the British consumer it's monopoly share of internet search is not in the public interest - it means that freedom of choice is being restricted with it's bundled search engine box in most browsers. If your website(s) is (are) barred by Google you are effectively barred from the internet. Of course anyone who speaks out could be barred.

      Google can and is charging it's advertisers excessive click charge fees. Fees have spiralled from 4p to 60p for keyword search terms that I used in the last 2 years. Either I stay in business and pass those on to the consumer or I go bust. High nos of new advertising accounts and high fees by definition must be being passed on to the consumer. Google has thousands of advertiser accounts.

      3. It's company director Eric Schmidt as you will be aware was appointed as a Conservative economic advisor whereupon it was later announced by the Conservative Party that it would consider Google to manage NHS patient records. How can something so blatant as nepotism be acceptable?

      4. It has no respect for copyright and the ownership of media/books/music by the copyright holders. In the US anti trust investigations are being carried out.

      When will people realise it's advertising growth is unsustainable and it's other investments are built on highly expensive purchases in fields it has little experience of (mobile phones etc). Google is a highly efficient spyware company who's company motto "Do No Evil" is nothing but fluff and who just screwed it's own employees with unfavourable share option re-pricing.

      Question:

      Greed is no good for anyone, ask the UK charities that received a demeaning £5662 in 2008.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      @patrunjel lm: The Google logo represents a group of practices and policies and those carry the name Google. The hate is (of course) NOT for that symbolism or the algorithm... but for those who drive the machine to make it what it is. Things like religion and guns and computer programs are neither good nor bad... that requires people. But because they hide behind the Google facade, it will naturally catch all the eggs and rotten tomatoes thrown at it.

    • patrunjel lm profile image

      patrunjel lm 7 years ago

      Don't hate Google. Google is a program. Google is an automatic algorithm-backed up program. Google has no feelings. Google can't "love" or "hate" you. Google is totally insensible. Why hate a machine? Better hate the people behind the algorithms.

    • profile image

      WriterBuzz 7 years ago

      Nice lens. I gave you a thumbs up, and hope that you continue to build lenses. I just made one Migraine Headaches that might interest you. Leave me a comment if you surf on by....

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      In addition to the previous reason, I hate Google because they are beginning to think this is communist china. I tried to set up a gmail account for my daughter, who is in an abusive relationship and needs a secure box. But now Google wants a cell phone number to give you a FREE account! Here she is looking for some safety and privacy and Google tries to feel us up for a phone number.

      I do hate Google.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Google is so big and so omnipotent, one person, one user means nothing to them. You can't even call them and wind up in India or Bangladesh. There's simply no direct line to Mount Olympus.

      Google and Walmart share a distinction; they are both products of a society that no longer counts or respects on an individual basis.

      In a nutshell, you are not 1... you are nothing.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Google sucks- I hate Google-But It sure is good at creating job security for SEO guru's

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      i'm not a google fan but i still use it

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      how far would tech. changed without google power pushing it along too..

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      use http://www.khojx.com for search saves energy

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Cut corners with Google maps for low quality mapping. How tight must a business be to use Google ?

      The directions suck and the accuracy is poor. People use them out out convenience as its certainly not quality. The customisation is weak and there enterprise programme is a rip off for what minimal functions you get !

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Google Rep - I apologize but we can no longer partner with you or your network of sites.

      Former Google Adsense Partner - Oh no, what ever shall I do? The Gevil Greedle Google refuses to permit allowing me to partner with them. Apparently the sites weren't up to Google snuff.

      Brain inside former google adsense partner - I know, spend every waking second and minute toppling the Gonglomerate? Sounds like an idea pinky!

      Google search = Internet Yellow Page Lookup

      Google Chrome = Crap Beta squared

      Google Apps = Does anyone use this junk?

      Google Maps = Get your peeper cameras off my streets

      Google Earth = sounds about right

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      I used to think they were amazing too. But I got forced to choose what internet things I like the most recently, http://www.dontdoitdan.co.uk/2009/09/shag-marry-ki...

      Didn't turn out as Google in the end!

      Dan Course

      dontdoitdan.com

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      lame ass bastards. . .

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      I AM FURIOUS! Why? Because today, while talking to my friends, one of them used 'Google' as an adjective! So, to see if you could actually do that, I wrote, 'I'll Google it' on Word. And no red or green line! Then I wrote the same sentence, but replaced Google with Yahoo. RED LINE! Now, I don't like Yahoo, but should it have a red line while Google is acceptable??? NO!

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      every morning, i wake up in a state of chronic depression.. if i don't take my meds i just can't find joy in the day. i started this new job that has me working too much, and i never have time to search and learn over google anymore.. it's a painful thing to give up. i just always loved reading and learning.. and now i just can't. i'd spend day in and day out just searching random things like hobos and snakes, and it was always an adventure.. i'm depressed because google is everywhere, and i'm incapable of using it. i wish they would just get rid of the terrible site.. the site that haunts my every dream and worsens my every nightmare.. i just know so many people take it for granted, being capable of searching google at any time, but what i would give to be able to give it all up and get google back. i yearn for it's touch.. it's soft, warm caress when i'm down.. i'm lonely and sad. suffering is an understatement.. google is a monster.. an addictive MONSTER.

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Yea, great stories about good old unca Google

      http://www.vthills.net/seo/

    • profile image

      meltingaway 9 years ago

      Google Horror Stories

    • profile image

      meltingaway 9 years ago

      I feel so sorry for everyone that is getting hurt by Google. The more I research this the more it pisses me off. That is why I created http://www.googlehorrorstories.net, so people like you can have a place to post your stories and maybe help to get Google to change their ways. I appreciate all you bloggers getting the word out on your sites about how Google has treated you. Please feel free to duplicate you stories at my site so that we can have a one stop shop for Google Horror Stories and just maybe we can spur google to change their ways. Thanks!