Sick Of Google?: The Best I Hate Google Stuff Ever
Google, I hate you! (But I want YOU to love ME!)
Do you resent the fact that "Google" has become a verb? Sick of SEO? Tired of obsessing over PageRank? Wish you could quit Google, but secretly crave Google's attention and acceptance? You're not alone!
I hate myself for loving you (my Google rant)
Before you flame me and call me a hypocrite, let me disclose a few things. Yes, I use Google's products. I love that I can see my house from space with Google Earth! I've used Adsense and Adwords, and I still use Blogger, Gmail, etc. In all likelihood, I will continue to use Google products. Google is everywhere, and most of the stuff is free -- how can I help it?
But it's getting out of hand. I think about Google all the time -- keywords, backlinks, SEO strategies... What will Google think if I do this? Will Google like that? What if that makes Google mad? I don't want to upset Google!
But I hate that I HAVE to do that! Google's looming Google-icious omnipresence gets on my nerves and under my skin, and I hate myself for having to love Google, especially when Google gives no evidence of loving me in return. Some days it seems like Google loves me, and other days, Google turns all fickle and ignores me for no apparent reason. It's maddening!
Some days, I just want to break up with Google. I want Google to take all his stuff and get out, and leave me alone with my own quiet life. And I can make my place just the way I like it, without having to worry about what Google will think.
But then I'm jerked back to reality. I can't live without Google. Nobody will like me if Google doesn't like me. I'm nothing without Google.
And then I'm back to where I started. I hate myself for loving Google. I hate Google for making me love him. Google, come back! I didn't mean it! Call me!
Suggested therapies for your Google-aches and pains
- Acknowledge your frustrations over the Google-ization of everything.
- Read what some clever anti-Googlers are doing in rebellion.
- Check out the latest anti-Google blog rants.
- Wear your feelings on your sleeve (or chest, or head) with some anti-Google apparel.
- Uninstall your Google toolbar.
- Do a search for something, using anything but Google search.
This cow hates Google
An exercise in futility? Trying to improve your Google PageRank? - good luck...
PageRank is a major cause of headaches for many webmasters and marketers. Here are some resources that may or may not provide useful information on the mystery of Google's page rank algorithms.
- Pagerank Explained. Google's PageRank and how to make the most of it.
Pagerank explained, and what you can do with it. PageRank calculator.
- How Google Finds Your Needle in the Web's Haystack
How Google Finds Your Needle in the Web's Haystack As we'll see, the trick is to ask the web itself to rank the importance of pages... David Austin Grand Valley State University david at merganser.math.gvsu.edu
- Google PageRank - Democracy or Corporate Muscle? [Search Marketing]
PageRank is Google's big drawcard. But how does PR impact on your rank in the Google results? And which sites benefit the most from this unique system? Tony investigates - and draws some unexpected conclusions!
- More info on PageRank
Every few months we update the PageRank data that we show in the toolbar, and every few months I see a few repeated questions, so let me take a pass at some of them.
Think you should quit Google?
If you dare to try, here are some links that might help.
- TechBlog: Maybe I should just quit Google cold turkey
Maybe I should just quit Google cold turkey.
- Google Users: I Can Quit Anytime
I can quit anytime I want to...
- Why am I still using Google?
For years now I've been using Google, dating back to before I entered this industry, at a time when Google was providing relevant results. So a big part of this is habit. My fingers automatically type Google.com whether I like it or not.
- Screw you Google! | SiteInsights
I'm through with all of it! I'm done worrying about both on and off page optimization… I'm done worrying about SERP's… I'm done worrying about linking strategies… Keywords… And Search Engine friendly titles!!! I don't care if I ever get another visit
- How to uninstall the Google toolbar (IE)
Below are two methods you can use to uninstall the Google Toolbar and remove it from your browser.
- How to uninstall the Google toolbar (Firefox)
There are two ways you can remove the Google Toolbar for Firefox.