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Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Updated on November 10, 2013

Funny Facebook Status Ideas for your Facebook Wall

If you are looking for Funny Facebook Status Ideas then your search starts here. You will find all the Funny Facebook Status Ideas and Updates, facebook love status messages, strange facebook status ideas, cute facebook status updates, clever status ideas, Plus weird and funny news stories about Facebook! Want some funny videos to post on your facebook wall? And last but not least... Funny pictures for your facebook wall! So go ahead and read the full collection of Facebook Status Messages and Updates to get ideas for your facebook wall.

Please Enjoy My Funny Facebook Status Ideas and Updates

Check out these links for the funniest facebook and twitter one liners:

44 funny Facebook statuses

Top 10 of the funniest updates

19 lol really lol twitter one liners

Get your facebook stash, gear, products, and books here.

My Favorite Facebook Status Updates
My Favorite Facebook Status Updates

My Favourite Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Some of the best Funny Facebook Status Messages I have seen!

Tomorrow I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

"What you think about, you talk about and what you talk about, you bring about"

You can not get lost on a straight road.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough

Some days... You just don't have enough middle fingers... ya know?

"vampires suck" is gonna be an epic movie

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

The funniest Facebook status

The Funniest Facebook Status Update Ever

Never make eye contact while eating a banana

Funny Facebook / Farmville Picture
Funny Facebook / Farmville Picture

Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Facebook status messages that make me laugh!

My children are quiet. They've either figured out how to play together nicely, or have killed each other.

is going crazy... wanna come?

I have a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population.

I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here. So am I.

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?

will be using the all knowing Magic 8 Ball to make all decisions today!

I sleep better naked...why can't the flight attendant understand this?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas
Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas

Funny Love Facebook Status Ideas

Ah, to be in love and share it on Facebook!

All YOU need is love. All I need is beer.

My heart is yours to Fill or Burst.. To Break or Bury.. Or wear as Jewelry.. Whichever you prefer.

I'm just trying to keep it together... cause I can do worse and you can do better.

I love you now, I loved you then! I'll love you forever 'til the end!!

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

says nothing is more romantic than letting you know that I love you ... via this Facebook Status update

Your like a candy store and I'm like a toddler. You got me wantin' more:)

I love my wife

Why isn't there some cheap and easy way to prove how much she means to me?

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention on driving.

On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(:

My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.

Wouldn't it be good if Ctrl+Alt+Del worked for ex husbands

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Strange but Funny Facebook Status Ideas
Strange but Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Clever and Funny Facebook Status Ideas

Sometimes funny, but always strange facebook status ideas

says, "This too shall pass gas."

is hoping that he doesn't have to slap your momma tonight.

thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!

dodge-duck-dip-dive & dodge.

Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.

People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you up side the head, remember I had a reason.

Click here to add any of these to your Facebook Wall (copy the one you like first!)

Facebook T-shirts - Great Facebook gear

Funny Videos for your Facebook Wall - Love to share funny videos on facebook?

Watch these funny videos, then post them on your facebook wall!

Funny Facebook Jokes
Funny Facebook Jokes

Funny Facebook Jokes

Do you like Facebook Jokes?

Facebook has agreed to launch an application that will allow young users to report predatory sexual behavior to the authorities.

In a related story Roman Polanski has just canceled his Facebook account.

60 percent of users are thinking about leaving Facebook. The CEO of Facebook said it will make changes starting tomorrow. If the percentage of people leaving goes past 80% it will start calling itself MYSPACE.

About 50% of parents "friend" their children on Facebook. The other 50% find less technological ways to embarrass their kids.

If Facebook is the Upper West Side and MySpace is the Bronx, then Tagged is a trailer park in New Jersey.

Want more Facebook Jokes?

Facebook VS MySpace - So which is better? You decide!

Which social website is your favorite?

See results

Facebook in the news

July 31, 2017      Daily World News      $15.00

Facebook Takes Over the World

Global corporation giant Facebook, is now the parent company to every major brand of products sold in stores anywhere in the world. That's right... Facebook now owns the entire business world.

Facebook owns Pepsi, Coca-Cola, Doritos, every brand of candy bar you can think of, they even own all of the internet like Google, Squidoo, Yahoo, and MSN. With the recent hostile takeover of Google, Facebook has the last hold out company firmly within it's control. Facebook is now, indeed the owner of the whole world.

In Local News...
Local manufactures, Garden of Eat'n, have began distribution of the new and improved Candy Bar Food Inhalers. "You taste everything, but you don't swallow -- it's absorbed in your mouth," owner Mark Zuckerberg said. "You have that full taste without having all of those calories." (see pg. 2)

Local Woman Hit in Head by Flying Saucer
A local woman was rushed to the hospital suffering from...(see pg. 2)

Local High Temperature Expected Today: 122F

Kanye West Debuts New Material at Facebook - Kanye West performs new material at Facebook headquarters

This funny video really cracks me up, but it's not the act Kayne West is putting on, what really makes me laugh about this video is when the ladies come up and think they should hold the table Kayne is standing on. Like them putting their hands on the table is going to save Kayne should the table give away! Now that's funny!

Gifts and toys for Facebook addicts

Fun Gifts for Facebook Fans!
Featured below are fun gifts for anyone who enjoys using facebook! Great for Facebook addicts like me! Check out the video camera! One of my favorite toys!

Fun "This Sucks" Facebook Gifts from Zazzle

See more funny facebook t-shirts

The Founding of Facebook: - The Accidental Billionaires: A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal

A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal The Founding of Facebook: The Accidental Billionaires

Upload Funny Videos Straight to Facebook - With the Kodak PlaySport Zx3 Waterproof Video Camera

I recently purchased this exact pocket video camera! I love the post straight to facebook feature that comes with the software for this video camera!

What is your current facebook status?

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    • leesholden profile image

      Lee 3 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

      Hehe very funny idea for a lens, know how to make my friends laugh now ;)

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest. check out for more: www.voiceable.org/cute-facebook-statuses.html

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I'll start to use that feature on Facebook timeline as soon as it comes up. www.hack-facebook-password.org , great post keep it up ! :D

    • HolyChristianWear profile image

      Gabriel 4 years ago from Hobbsville, NC

      So cool thanks so much. Yes I will be using some of them. Thanks again

    • AnonBlogger profile image

      AnonBlogger 4 years ago

      These are amazing. I might put some of these on a T-shirt :)

    • OrganicMom247 profile image

      OrganicMom247 4 years ago

      Food Drunk! >> because i went to a japanese buffet :))

    • OrganicMom247 profile image

      OrganicMom247 4 years ago

      Food Drunk! >> because i went to a japanese buffet :))

    • profile image

      hackforuberstrike 4 years ago

      that's a great video. cheered me up no end. thanks and a like for that :)

    • topgameslist lm profile image

      topgameslist lm 4 years ago

      Nice lens. Thanks!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Women eh! Boob jobs, nose jobs, teeth bleaching, tummy tucks, liposuction, colonic irrigation, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellys and clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini wax, armpits shaved, lips tattooed, legs waxed, diets, exercise and they wont take it up the ass cause it 'hurts'.

    • makemoneyonline5 profile image

      makemoneyonline5 4 years ago

      Great lens on facebook, have to say my top fav social site is HPP now, but i can access fb through that anyway, so don't miss out on friends updates etc

    • homesweethomebi1 profile image

      homesweethomebi1 4 years ago

      Love this lens. Good clean fun for facebook.

    • FB-Explorer profile image

      FB-Explorer 5 years ago

      This is too much for just one sitting. I've got this on my favorites list. Thanks!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Free AMAZON kindle version of a book you should all read "101 things to DISLIKE about Facebook. Funny humor, a stocking stuffer type gift. Love it!

    • tyrosine profile image

      tyrosine 5 years ago

      Ha! I just watched the vid on failblog you posted and it made my day. Thank you!

    • profile image

      DMVAgent 5 years ago

      nice lens! very coll-interesting lens.. you did a very nifty job in this, i will post this link to advertise more! this is cool.

    • Frank Edens profile image

      Frank Edens 5 years ago

      This is great! I will definitely be sharing a couple of the statuses lol wp4fb

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Good stuff, me and my boyfriend are both addicted to facebook and we use facesoftware which makes facebook more fun. Just google facesoftware

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      This is awesome!

      funny facebook status

    • Milkcananime profile image

      Max Wong 5 years ago from Singapore

      This is one of the most funny youtube I ever seen! :)

    • profile image

      kessa22 5 years ago

      I have a theory that the world would be a safer place if everyone were forced to take IQ tests and had to display their results as warnings to the population. - the best:D

    • profile image

      Edwinrocks 5 years ago

      great lense...enjoyed reading this one

    • queenofduvetcover profile image

      queenofduvetcover 5 years ago

      This is great! I will definitely be sharing a couple of the statuses lol

    • profile image

      jostan258 5 years ago

      If the pen is mightier than the sword, how is it that actions speak louder than words?"Funny facebook status "After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recongnize funny statusa second "the"

    • BestMusicHits profile image

      BestMusicHits 5 years ago

      huh it's not easy , lately I was not adding any statuses , but I remember one :

      A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at! guess who's the author?

    • profile image

      360xbl 5 years ago

      hahah this is too funny thanks for the share

    • MelonyVaughan profile image

      MelonyVaughan 5 years ago

      Great lens! Really enjoyed the videos!

    • desa999 lm profile image

      desa999 lm 5 years ago

      Enjoyed your lens with some really funny topics.

    • profile image

      mylinkcenter 5 years ago

      full of surprise...!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(: Don't change yourself when your life style changes into a better perspective.. And don't forget the ones who were there to be with you all the while..your friends..

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      On the road of life, it's not where you're going, but who's by your side that makes the difference(: Don't change yourself when your life style changes into a better perspective.. And don't forget the ones who were there to be with you all the while..your friends..

    • newbizmau profile image

      Guided Abundance 5 years ago from Mobile, AL

      So many funnies in one place make my tummy hurt. Loved it!

    • jadehorseshoe profile image

      jadehorseshoe 5 years ago

      VERY Nice Lens.

    • profile image

      squidooblogger 5 years ago

      The cat video is really funny :)

    • Close2Art LM profile image

      Close2Art LM 5 years ago

      Loved it!!! Blessed, please add it to my Squidoo Lensmasters on Facebook page, Awesome page!!! Great Job!!!

    • profile image

      nerdterd28 5 years ago

      lol i used those lol thanks

    • yano jl profile image

      yano jl 5 years ago

      My personal favorite: "I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat."

      Very funny - 1 more SquidLike for you! Thanks.

    • AnnaAdam LM profile image

      AnnaAdam LM 5 years ago

      Its difficult to write on such topics. You did a great job. well written lens.

    • profile image

      Johnson671 5 years ago

    • profile image

      duaraman 5 years ago

      Nice

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      i wonder what would happen if i walked thru sea world with a fishing pole?

      when ppl start commenting..... say "In the crowd of the shamoo show casting my line in lol!"

      when more ppl start commenting say "Like no big deal trying to catch a killer wale"

      then when one of your good friends says "Holy shit _____ your fucking hilarious hahahahahahahah I love you"

      respond with "who are you? ^^"

      trust me will end up so epic

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      yes, funny status is always interesting things

      buy facebook friends

    • profile image

      itsonlymejosh 6 years ago

      I'm always looking for funny status updates, pics, and videos to post to my FB since I never have anything worthwhile that anyone really wants to read anyhow.

      Great lense. I just might use some of these :)

    • profile image

      lallaig19 6 years ago

      great post!

    • BuddyShearer profile image

      BuddyShearer 6 years ago

      Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      My friends status said, standing on the edge of a cliff :/so i poked him.

    • OrganicMom247 profile image

      OrganicMom247 6 years ago

      Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

    • AQuintinSmith profile image

      AQuintinSmith 6 years ago from Paradise on Earth

      Great lens. I am a facebook addict so this will come in handy.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Very nice dude. But if facebook blocked in your school use Ninjaproxy.

    • profile image

      drchica21 6 years ago

      lmaoo gotta love witty facebook statuses.

      hey you all should check out my channel. Might make you feel less lonely. lol just kidding, you all are amazing people im sure. :)

      My link: http://www.youtube.com/user/drchica21

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Hi! this is a very great lens. I just press like-button and add this lens in my lens name is "Facebook Plugin cannot be rendered with the specified parameters" Don't miss for check its. Thanks for your sharing.

    • NoobWriter LM profile image

      NoobWriter LM 6 years ago

      excellent dude.......

    • LigaSuper profile image

      S Kurniawan 6 years ago from Bandung, Indonesia

      Awesome lens!

    • profile image

      TravelingRae 6 years ago

      LOL I cannot stand the vampire trend, so 'Vampires Suck is going to be an epic movie' was particularly good!

    • pinkrenegade lm profile image

      pinkrenegade lm 6 years ago

      Great lens. That was really funny. Thanks for the laugh. :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      best....rockkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Great post! You should come check out http://facebookstatusawesomeizer.blogspot.com/ they have AWESOME statuses.

    • bkarsono profile image

      bkarsono 6 years ago

      Cool lens

    • tvyps profile image

      Teri Villars 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Interesting lens. I just lensrolled it to my FACEBOOK FUN AND CAUTIONS! lens.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Funny Facebook Status Ideas are very nice.Thanks for sharing. Work Plan Platform

    • kguru1979 lm profile image

      kguru1979 lm 6 years ago

      Great lens...

    • profile image

      goliveuk 6 years ago

      great lens for having a great time. I did not have the time to read it entirely, but, surely I will come back when I want to read something interesting and funny! Thanks!

    • profile image

      ReidAdrian 6 years ago

      brilliant

    • profile image

      ReidAdrian 6 years ago

      @grosssmutttr: Big in the game!

    • profile image

      ReidAdrian 6 years ago

      @pumpnut lm: I didn't notice!

    • JublyJem profile image

      JublyJem 6 years ago

      really enjoyed your lens!

    • profile image

      charliefern 6 years ago

      hahhaha nice

    • UKGhostwriter profile image

      UKGhostwriter 6 years ago

      Excellent lens!

    • profile image

      grosssmutttr 6 years ago

      made me laugh...so thank you

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      good lens!

    • HannahPSurva profile image

      HannahPSurva 6 years ago

      What a great lens! I loved it! Thanks for taking the time to post!

    • profile image

      rishabverma 6 years ago

      lol.. that was really funny..

    • Kitty Levee profile image

      Kitty Levee 6 years ago

      My favorite: Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    • profile image

      Oliversbabycarecouk 6 years ago

      Great lens - made me laugh!

    • profile image

      moonlitta 6 years ago

      ...Farming:) if I had one. I'd prefer one of yours, though.

    • DawnMathisenakaC profile image

      DawnMathisenakaC 6 years ago

      Thanks for a well-made and fun lens, Dan! I thoroughly enjoyed it. I like putting up fun stuff on my Facebook to make people laugh as well as quotes and sayings that inspire people. Fun stuff!

    • dahlia369 profile image

      dahlia369 6 years ago

      Made me laugh, thank you!! :)

    • jackieb99 profile image

      jackieb99 6 years ago

      Hey, I love the site! Funny stuff.

    • profile image

      RAnDomPeRSoN123Hi 6 years ago

      The only reason Myspace sucks now is beecause it's trying to be like Facebook, wannabes never win.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      http://www.myspacefriendlist.com

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    • pumpnut lm profile image

      pumpnut lm 6 years ago

      Did you ever notice that people don't notice things?

    • InnaTsv profile image

      InnaTsv 6 years ago

      i found a couple of perfect onw for myself, thanks! :P

    • lasertek lm profile image

      lasertek lm 6 years ago

      Why didn't I ever thought of putting up a Facebook status such as these? Great lens by the way!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Cool lens - nice one.

    • Nightowl John profile image

      Nightowl John 6 years ago

      Funny stuff. Nicely put together. Thanks

    • profile image

      jgelien 6 years ago

      I like your status ideas. I may have to steal one. Fun lens.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      I believe that facebook marketing is the key to get success in a long run whether you are having a small business or large firm...more followers at facebook means you can grow your business further to new hieghts..

      =====================================================================<

      | | Get Facebook Fans

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Having a huge fan base on Facebook was always important on helping you get noticed online! We help you getting started quick and easy!

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    • profile image

      mockingbird999 6 years ago

      I don't even know. It's been so long since I've updated.

      Nice lens. You've got some funny stuff on here.

    • squid-pinkchic18 profile image

      squid-pinkchic18 6 years ago

      Great lens, funny stuff!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Buy Facebook Fans

      Get Facebook Fans

      Buy Facebook Likes

    • rwoman profile image

      rwoman 6 years ago

      Let's see how creative my facebook friends are. Leave a one word comment that best describes me using the THIRD LETTER of your FIRST NAME, it can only be 1 word. Then copy & paste this to your wall so I can leave a word about you.

    • ElizabethSheppard profile image

      Elizabeth Sheppard 6 years ago from Bowling Green, Kentucky

      Right now my Facebook status is: Laurel's Squash Risotto. From Tinky. (A recipe from her blog.) But I think a funny status would be nice! I like the ones you shared.

    • glenbrook profile image

      glenbrook 6 years ago

      Nicely done lens and very entertaining... except the LAST thing I need is something that encourages me to spend more time on FB...

    • spritequeen lm profile image

      spritequeen lm 6 years ago

      LOL These are GREAT!! Thanks for sharing! Can't wait to use some of them!!

    • livyf profile image

      livyf 6 years ago

      Thanks for the laughs! I really enjoyed your lens. I loved the one about getting paid to poo at work.

    • EditPhotos profile image

      Edit Photos 7 years ago from Earth

      Fun Lens. My facebook status says I just blessed a funny lens.