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Things Me Old Nan says

Updated on April 17, 2011

she's a funny thing me Old Nan. heres a bunch of things she says as she passes on her wisdom to the younger generation.

it was easy to collect all these, i didn't have to write them down, i just copied and pasted them from her facebook status updates.

  • The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
  • Don't be irreplaceable; if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
  • Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.
  • Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.    
  • No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her garbage.
  • If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
  • Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head
  • If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either
  • A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
  • Any task worth doing was worth doing yesterday.
  • Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

their be more coming soon!

Any words of wisdom from YOUR Old Nan?

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    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you have nothing nice to say, might as well throw the first punch.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Pa says: Some people call it premature ejaculation. I call it an early night.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: It is okay to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      theres a lot a person can learn from me old nan. she'll be right impressed when i tell her some likeable young lass has stuck her tips up on her fridge.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: It's not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you think your got it bad at least you didnt grow up looking like Ronald Weasley from Harry Potter!

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! You're not alive anymore!'

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: We're making progress. Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too good either if you speak when your head is empty.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you do not know what you're doing, do it neatly.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable... or get married and wish you were dead.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ticked me off.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady. But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you are worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan used to say: A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If you do not like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      thanks rohner. shes a right larf me old nan.

    • lrohner profile image

      lrohner 7 years ago from USA

      Loved it! Totally hilarious!

    • profile image

      Odd Psyko 7 years ago

      your old nan is a bit like a trademark or a brand or sumfin.

    • Several Ninjas profile image
      Author

      Several Ninjas 7 years ago

      Me Old Nan says: If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one hell of an education!

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