10 Things That I Would Love to do in Rodeo Drive.
Wealth and Wealthy People
Rodeo Drive, a two-mile-long street, primarily in Beverly Hills, California, with its southern segment in the City of Los Angeles. Its southern terminus is at Beverwil Drive, and its northern terminus is at its intersection with Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills. The name is most commonly used metonymically to refer to the three-block stretch of the street north of Wilshire Boulevard and south of Little Santa Monica Boulevard, which is known for its luxury goods stores. The larger business district surrounding Rodeo, known as the "Golden Triangle," which extends from Wilshire Boulevard to Santa Monica Boulevard, is both a shopping district and a tourist attraction.
From what I've read and been told, the stores on Rodeo Drive all have a common saying: If you have to ask the price, you cannot afford it. Even the jewelry stores are not open to the public--just shown to the famous and super-rich by appointment. Talk about "keeping up with the Saudi's."
I've Always Wondered
what would really happen to this luxurious place and its luxurious people if someone like me who was given unlimited credit by MTV or Comedy Network to film a series of reality pranks that do no harm to people or the areas in Rodeo Drive and get it all on film. I may not live to fulfill this desire, but I can share these 10 Things That I Would Love to do in Rodeo Drive.
10.) Act Like: the late Eric Fleming, "Mr. Favor," on CBS' "Rawhide" with a couple of cattle drovers and a herd of smelly, rambunctious cows along with an honery old cook riding his chuck wagon. But we would all have to keep a straight face. The local police would be in on this prank and when the snooty snoots of this refined area began to complain and they would when they viewed us coming down the street, the cops would say, "Easy, folks. These people have a legal permit to drive their cattle to market down this street. Move along. Nothing to see here."
9.) Pretend That We: are living in the "Turbulent 60's" and stage an anti-war sit-in right there on our butts on the clean, fancy sidewalks complete with protest signs telling the "U.S. to Get Out of Vietnam!" Then see how many people would stop to explain that the Vietnam War ended many years ago.
8.) Stage a Huge: Barbecue Contest on a city-wide level. Can you image the scene? About 50 grills cooking great smelling beef and pork at the same time? Smoke in Rodeo Drive would be as thick as the glares I would be getting from the rich and disgusted. MTV or Comedy Central's ratings would zoom like skyrockets at the Fourth of July.
7.) Dress Like: a beggar in soiled robe and sit with a tin cup at the entrance of the most high class jewelry store in Rodeo Drive and when passersby stopped to see me, I would ask, "mister can you spare a hundred dimes?"
6.) Have a Heated: hand-ball contest with several teams of men and women dressed in white shirts and shorts. We would throw the ball against the walls of the high-end stores just to see who was the best hand-ball player.
5.) Plan a: loud, raunchy rock and roll concert right there on the sidewalks that join all of the million-dollar stores. We could have (surviving) members of Motley Crue; Steppenwolf; ZZ Top and more with their amplifiers turned up so high a person could not think. Plus, do some fake "weed" to make things more irritating to the "Richey Rich's" who patronize these stores. What a great time we would have.
4.) Motorcycle: drag races up and down the streets that run parallel to the stores in Rodeo Drive. But the motorcycle riders would not be "Average Joe's" but fake Hell's Angels who would growl at these upper crust people as they tear off with their Harley's.
3.) Boxing matches: would be perfect for Rodeo Drive. But we would have real boxers. Floyd "Money" Mayweather would take on all comers in a ring set up in the middle of Rodeo Drive --and pay the challengers a thousand bucks to go three rounds with him. Hey, it's Comedy Central's money so I could afford to give it away.
2) Green Peace: along with their counterparts, PETA, could stage protests against the rich poodle owners who love to walk into these swanky stores carrying their pedigree poodles wearing real diamond collars. And the protesters would not go easy on these rich people. They might yell, "hey, dog owners there! How would you like to be treated the way you treat your dog?" Talk about a great reality show.
1.) Put up: my own camping area right there in the middle of Rodeo Drive with a tent able to hold six people or more. I could have my own gas stove and cook my own food, a chaise lounge chair to relax in the sun and just kick back while the rich shoppers point and threaten me. Ahhh, what a great time I would have in telling these people that they are a part of an elaborate prank.
I think that I have finally found my life's calling: a television show producer.
Oh, good night, Boise, Idaho.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery