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20 Signs You are Staying at a Bad Motel

Updated on October 24, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 8 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Bargain Lodging - Don't Do It!

I absolutely love going on vacation and I also love saving money. Sometimes when those two concepts join together, the outcome can be a disaster. When it comes to picking a motel or hotel, you may not want to go low-budget. You often do get what you pay for, and that is something to consider when making those reservations.

There are times when it is not a desire to save money that lands you in a bad motel. Poor planning can often contribute to the poor quality of your motel. Sometimes people just jump in the car and head to another state without any thought of making reservations. That, my friend, is a bad idea. Other times, an emergency comes up and you have no choice. You have to stay at whatever motel or hotel is in the area, and chances are, it is not going to be a great one.

I have personally stayed at some creepy, crazy places and I would like to create a list for you. Please enjoy the top 20 signs you are staying in a bad motel:

Duct Tape in the Bathtub

20 Signs You are Staying at a Bad Motel:

  1. The pool at the motel has wildlife living in it. Ducks are cute, but they aren't willing to share the pool with you.
  2. Two words for you: mystery smell!
  3. One word for you: stains!
  4. The bathtub in your room has duct tape in it.
  5. There is some type of fungus growing in the room.
  6. The place is called the "Bates Motel."
  7. The guy working the front desk is Norman Bates and he is not sure if there is a room available. He tells you he needs to consult with his mother first. Run away while his back is turned!
  8. The motel is named after a car. Examples: The Thunderbird Inn, The Cadillac Motel, The Toyota Camry Resort (I made the last one up!)
  9. Upon entering the room, the bed bugs and roaches greet you with a dance.
  10. There is only one lamp in the room, and the bulb looks like it blew out 2 years ago.
  11. You hear a mysterious voice from the next room yelling, "Help me! Help me!"
  12. You had to remove the crime scene tape to enter your room.
  13. The guy working at the front desk is shirtless. Every time you see him, he is still shirtless.
  14. You find a family of squirrels living under one of the beds.
  15. You call for room service and the voice on the other line says, "Get it yourself!"
  16. There is leftover food in the mini-fridge. The expiration date says 1986.
  17. The place is so scary, even ghosts don't haunt it.
  18. You go to the ice machine and find the ice is a strange color normally not associated with ice, such as green.
  19. The television does not have cable, but it does have a Beta VCR. The only tapes available are Ernest Goes to Camp and Ernest Scared Stupid.
  20. The air conditioner throws out hot air; the heater throws out cold air.

Comments

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  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Ewwww!!! That would have killed my allergies. Thanks for sharing your motel memory!

  • Amanda108 profile image

    Amanda 

    6 years ago from Michigan, United States

    Thankfully I've only stayed in one really bad hotel - there was black-colored mold in the bathtub! Funny list!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I have experienced some of these things, too... but not the crime tape. ;-) Hahaha... it is good to know I am not the only person staying at places with duct tape everywhere. Hehe. Thanks so much for your comment!

  • PegCole17 profile image

    Peg Cole 

    6 years ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

    You have nailed all the signs of a poor quality motel and I recognize every one of them. (Well, maybe not one with the crime scene tape.) LOL When I traveled for a couple of different jobs there were some places I stayed that were very high quality and others, well, the duct tape even had holes. Hahahah. You are one funny lady. And your hub is funny too.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Wow, that sounds like such a lovely place to stay. I am not sure which I would pick... perhaps the dive motel. They are always such an adventure. It sounds like you had an interesting time there. :-)

    Thanks for your comment!

  • FlourishAnyway profile image

    FlourishAnyway 

    6 years ago from USA

    My employer moved me to a rural location to set up an HR department in one of their factories, and sometimes we would get corporate visitors who would have one of two choices. Either stay an hour away at a Holiday Inn or stay at the local dive motel. The local motel became famous for its sign that told guests, "Do not clean fish in rooms." They also refused to give people fresh towels every day, explaining, "We don't do that here. What do you think this is ... a HOTEL?!?" True story.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks for checking out my hub... I have also stayed at some pretty scary places. Thank goodness for the internet and online reviews now! :-)

  • PaisleeGal profile image

    Pat Materna 

    6 years ago from Memphis, Tennessee, USA

    Funny hub! Sadly, I could relate to some of the situations. Life can be scary sometimes! Thanks for the laughs!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks so much! I am happy you enjoyed my hub. :-)

  • ChristyWrites profile image

    Christy Birmingham 

    6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

    Your hubs make me laugh Jeannie - thanks for the giggles today!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    DeborahNeyens - Oh no! It smelled like armpit. That sounds absolutely awful. It makes you wonder, how does a place end up smelling like armpit anyway? Ewww! Thanks for your comment!

    Alecia Murphy - This is so true. I love going home after being on vacation. I think I am more excited to go home than I am to go on vacation in the first place. Must be because I stay at terrible places. Hehe. Thanks for the votes!

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 

    6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    How'd I miss this? Yeah if anything has the name Bates in it- I would say stay far far away. Nothing makes you thankful to go home more than a sketchy motel! Voted up and funny!

  • DeborahNeyens profile image

    Deborah Neyens 

    6 years ago from Iowa

    Funny! This reminded me of a recent trip when my flight was cancelled and the airline put us up in a place that smelled like armpit. Yuck!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    8 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Haha! I was being my silly self but I hope it does work :-)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Well, when you put it that way, I guess I have to follow you! Thanks!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    8 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Popular is a GREAT thing :)) Follow me and gain more popularity! Haha! Congrats again!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you! I feel so popular lately. :-) Thanks for reading and for the comment!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    8 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Congrats Jeannie this hub is displayed on the Facebook Hubpage! Yay for you!!!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, there is something sad about the almost empty or completely empty pool. Both are a bad sign, yet if the price is right, I've stayed at places like that before, too. Thanks for the comment!

  • mkiaconis profile image

    mkiaconis 

    8 years ago from wherever it is that I happen to be.

    Wow! Funny references! I have definitely stayed in some sketchy places like this. My least favorite involve bugs and when the pool's water is maybe two feet deep across the pool. Interesting hub.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Uh-oh... are you secretly Norman Bates or something? Don't tell your mother on me, dude. The next time I am taking a shower, I will be on the lookout for a crazed killer with a knife.

  • Buddzzz profile image

    Buddzzz 

    8 years ago from USA

    Am I really the only person who didn't think this was funny?

    Horrible list. Especially "reasons" 6 and 7.

    How would YOU like it, if I went and created a hub called

    "How to know you're reading a bad hub"

    Then I went and put, "The creator is Jeannieinabottle"

    That wouldn't be very funny, now would it? Cuz that is exactly what you are doing here.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Those Ernest movies just are not so appealing anymore.

  • CondoLux Rentals profile image

    CondoLux Rentals 

    8 years ago from North Myrtle Beach,South Carolina

    HAHA! I love it! Very fun.

    "The television does not have cable, but it does have a Beta VCR. The only tapes available are Ernest Goes to Camp and Ernest Scared Stupid."

    That one is my favorite.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks, Angie! It is vacation time and I can't help but remember some of my past motel experiences.

  • Angie Jardine profile image

    Angie Jardine 

    8 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

    Loved this, Jeannie :-)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks! Hmmm... now that you mention it, his show often is not that funny. I am a Conan girl myself. At least TBS puts that show On Demand and I don't have to stay up late to see it anymore. I can understand why you like #15. I want to say stuff like that on the phone at work all the time! Thanks for the vote and comment.

  • nycgrl profile image

    Veronica 

    8 years ago from New York

    Another funny one. You should write Letterman's top 10, I think you would do better than some of the writers he has now. My favorite is 15 lol voted up!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed the hub. I've had quite a few experiences at terrible motels, so I thought I would share. Thanks for the votes and the comment!

  • Movie Master profile image

    Movie Master 

    8 years ago from United Kingdom

    Hi Jeannieinabottle, I love it when your name is in my daily hub email, because I know I'm in for a good read! I just burst out laughing when I saw the photo!! great hub, great fun, pressing all your buttons!!!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Wow, that is a really good one. There are some total creeps out there, especially in motels. But then again, maybe I watch too many horror movies. Thanks for the comment!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    8 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Great pointers!! I'd suggest looking for peep holes and I'm not talking about the one in the door!! You never know what kind of freaks are watching you!! Thanks for the warnings :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    prairieprincess - I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Thank you for the votes. That does sound like a bad motel. After all, what was the Lysol smell covering up? Makes you wonder what happened before you got there, doesn't it?

    Cogerson - Oh! I think you wife is right. Crumbs on the sheets are gross. I've experienced sand on the sheets, which is pretty bad, too. Of course, that was at the beach which is at least better than if it were at a ski resort or something. The duct tape in the bathtub still remains the funniest motel experience ever! That was the same place with the shirtless guy. Thank you for the comment and the compliment!

  • Cogerson profile image

    UltimateMovieRankings 

    8 years ago from Virginia

    Very funny hub... the determination of a bad motel for my wife is the sheets....if they are nice and smooth...good motel....if they feel like cracker crumbs bad motel.....as always you have produced a quality hub.

  • prairieprincess profile image

    Sharilee Swaity 

    8 years ago from Canada

    Ha ha! This is hilarious! Love number 3: "one word: stains!" So funny! And a Beta recorder with Ernie goes to camp? Wow! This was very creatively written and made me laugh. Voted up awesome and funny.

    By the way, I have stayed a bad hotel a few times, and this is so true! The last time was last year when I had booked what I thought was a decent hotel, and did not get in until about 10 at night. The whole room smelled like Lysol! I couldn't stop coughing, and didn't think I would make it through the night. One word: yuck!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie Marie 

    8 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Wow, that is pretty impressive. I am not sure if I should congratulate you or laugh. I've stayed at quite a few crummy places myself. The most important thing is you lived through the experiences and you can talk about them now. The endless funny stories are the best part of the bad motel experience. Thanks for the comment!

  • alzel127 profile image

    Alex Zelahy 

    8 years ago from Indiana

    Is it bad if you have stayed in hotels or motels that have covered at least 18 of your 20?

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