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Airlines, in an emergency I want a life jacket AND a parachute under my seat!
One thing that baffles and mystifies me about "in flight emergency procedures and equipment", is the futility of it all. It seems to me that the whole display put on by your friendly air Stewards and Stewardesses, is soley designed to comfort and reassure you prior to take off, when realistically everyone knows that when most planes plummet out of the sky, no lifejacket or inflatable slide is going to save your life. A plane hitting the sea from 30,000 feet plus above sea level, is tantamount to it hitting a slab of solid concrete, in other words, a lifejacket is not going to save your life, but a parachute issued once the aircraft was determined to be in serious trouble, combined with an open door and possibly a lifejacket too, might have made all the difference!!!.
I reckon they put laughing gas in these oxygen masks, Good Idea!
Likewise, I have a theory that those oxygen masks that they claim will drop down from the ceiling in the event of cabin depressurisation, are only going to facilitate everyone who manages to put them on, being able to enjoy the final moments of multiple screaming passengers, (plus themselves), as the metal tube carrying them, (plus tonnes of very flammable fuel), hurtles towards the inevitable horrible death that awaits them. Call me a coward, but I would rather remain amongst the lucky unconscious souls who failed to get their masks on, (or who got trapped in the toilet whilst having the illicit cigarette that would normally have resulted in them being evicted from the plane at the next available airport).
Of course there is always the fantastically effective "crash position", that we are supposed to assume in the event the plane is going down.
Great I say.........!!!
Putting my head forward with hands wrapped across the top of my head is really likely to save me from a free-fall that is far higher than any mountain anyone has ever climbed! I mean honestly, how many plane crashes ever have any survivors?? The Hudson River was a miracle one-off in itself, and they got lucky with a brilliant Pilot who beat the odds, big time!!
Talking about the Hudson River crash, did anyone notice the complete lack of those emergency inflatable slides appearing out of the Emergency Exits in the footage??? I did, and it seemed the wings became those slides instead. Does this mean there were no slides on that aircraft? Did the slides fail to inflate? Are the slides simply a myth conjured up by the airlines to act as a comforter to nervous passengers and those adults who never grew out of being big kids with a love of playing on the slides in the local park? Who will ever know for sure other than the mysterious, never seen faces, of those who run the airlines in question.
Then of course there are the inexplicable rules, such as not being allowed to remove your seat belt until the aircraft has stopped moving upon landing, (or has parked as I prefer to call it). Why is it essential for us to still wear our seatbelts whilst the plane is moving slower than a 50cc moped, especially if in the event of a sudden fire this could inhibit our ability to move freely towards an emergency exit?
After careful consideration, and many flights, I have decided that all aircraft should provide a life jacket AND a parachute under the seat, plus demonstrate full use of these items. There should be a proper parachute exit upon the aircraft and the emergency life-rafts should also be capable of being dropped by parachute, with automatic inflatability upon contact with water.
Another idea, is to equip the planes themselves with parachutes, although multiple ones would be necessary in case any failed. Surely in this modern era such technology is not impossible, and even if they only served to dramatically slow the plane's descent, it could allow enough time for passengers to use their own parachutes, and the appropriate exit, to escape the falling aircraft.
Remember, a lifejacket is only any help if you land in water, and even then, only if you land without the whole plane disintegrating after a high speed fall from thousands of feet.
I DON'T JUST WANT A LIFEJACKET.................I WANT A PARACHUTE TOO !!!!!