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Navy - The Shame of India

Updated on July 25, 2014
Key Chain Club- An officer would pick up a key chain belonging to a wife who would then oblige the officer.
Key Chain Club- An officer would pick up a key chain belonging to a wife who would then oblige the officer.

One Liner

Defence is a serious business and not a circus being run by a bunch of hired Jokers.

What pisses me off

Everyone has their share of dirty laundry but theirs is mind baffling. We have all heard of Scandals in defence deals, ration quota, land procurement , and many other fields where Discretion is not matched by accountability but sex scandal on this large scale!!The prurient nature of the allegations has shaken even the most blasé.

When the whole country was grappling with 26/11 maniacs in mumbai ,the holier-than-thou self proclaimed holy cow was busy merry making and debating whether the dress code for ladies at the next weekend cocktail party would be mini-skirt , chemise or back-less. Or should they have a lottery system or first cum (no it's not a spelling mistake) first serve to decide which officer would get to sleep with whose wife. Voila, before you pounce on me with your swiss-knives you better read out the following link where OUTLOOK had this as its cover story.

See, I didn't simply cook the story out of thin air.

But it's no point blaming them, cause they are excellent at this sport of blame-game. Too bad, this sport doesn't figure on the list of Olympics or else India should have rest assured of a Gold in its tally . So yet again they shift the burden on the shoulders of Indian Coast Guard with the fabled argument of 12-nautical-miles-jurisdiction.

What They Are Proud Of

They show their masculinity in arresting poor fishermen and daily sea farers .And that's precisely how they prove that they are indeed worth the salt. BTW You remember the last time when Indian Navy did something 'of import'. NO, right? Well neither do I. Don't find fault with your poor grey cells cause they haven't really done anything worth remembering . What I did then was what anyone would have done. Yes, you are right, JFGI. So this is what the web has to say….Only during, Operation Trident and Operation Python during the 1971 war, was the Navy ever heard of doing their job. But dude That was when there were two Pakistans , Berlin wall was still intact, Cold war was a common word, and AIDS virus was yet to be discovered. You see this old in history !

So next time they ask you about examples of disguised unemployment in school exams, don't blatantly quote the cliched Agriculture sector, the latest kid on the block is Indian Navy.

Bravery Awards

Quiz time. How many Param Veer Chakras (Gallantry award) has the Indian Navy been fêted with? Scratch , scratch your forehead, some name of an award winning hero might fall out of it. Well, if any name whatsoever has come to your mind, I have got three words for you. YOU-ARE-WRONG. Cause when it comes to PVC , Indian navy sits happily with what a Lawn Tennis referee would call, 'love' and a layman like me would prefer a 'zero'.

Their State of the Art Weaponry

Do we eat leftovers? No. Do we wear discarded clothes of others? No ,but we do run with wagging -tail and drooling-saliva for that old and tossed-out warship of Russians- Admiral Gorshkov aka INS VIKRAMADITYA (The navymen are for sure uncanny masterminds at putting stamps of Desi names )

Treachery is the new fashion

The most embarrassing moment was when fire broke out at INS Sindhurakshak and it sank with 18 sailors on board. There were allegations of conspirators and insiders behind the incident. The navy men were involved in attacking their own country! It 's the worst possible case of sedition and treason. Shame on you , Indian navy.

As of today with that impeccable white uniform and that inward slanted salute ( sailors have supposedly devised this way to hide their dirty palms from the superiors) , Indian Navy is more a liability than being an asset. It is the proverbial white elephant which is draining us to white.

Why Question them?

From the shoe polish with which they whiten the shoes (hiding their dirty scandals) to the subsidized ration that they get, everything is being sponsored from the tax-payers' kitty. So we stand every right to question each and every penny being spent.

Since Defence services don’t fall under RTI , this is just the tip of the iceberg which a few brave investigative journalists have managed to bring to the light. More than 90% of it is still hidden from the sight of the common man. Yes, yours and mine!

What next?

If we don't put the house in order many a D K Joshis would come and go, the truly motivated and honest officers and sergeants would keep on ending their lives or take VRS and put their time and skills to better avenues, China would devise more strategic moves like 'String of pearls' and tighten the noose around our neck and our fantasy of being a 'Blue water navy' would just be a pipe dream like Tushar Kapoor's of being a super-star.


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