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I’ve Said It Before And Now I’m Saying It Again, Travel Has Lost All Its Glamour!

Updated on March 1, 2010


I’ll admit, it wasn’t Paris for the weekend or anything as romantic as that, it was Tucson, Arizona to see a friend who is touring with a production of Fiddler On The Roof starring Theodore Bikel. The man is 86, how many opportunities do any of us have to see the Broadway original in the show? While I had done the same thing with Carol Channing in her last tour of Hello Dolly to mostly embarrassing and making faces akin to, “God love her, she’s at least standing and talking at the same time.” I’m delighted to report that Mr. Bikel was a delight. So a quick Southwest hour flight from Vegas to Tucson I took and now that I’m in the airport waiting to go back home, I realize once more that I’ve said it before and now I’m saying it again, travel has lost all its glamour! – Don’t Get Me Started!

I’m only forty-five but I remember traveling in a suit and tie when I was young. It was an event. You dressed up, gave great thought to what you would take on the plane and you always asked for a deck of playing cards. My brother and I could play the card game, War for hours on end and did. But that was forty years ago, when they used to have a show. Now it’s a disco but not for Lola, wait that’s Copacabana. You get the idea.

So as I returned the rental car and got to the kiosk to print my boarding pass I was feeling okay about things. I had changed to an earlier flight so I all ready knew that I was in the lousy “B” world of Southwest and although I only have carryon luggage I’m prepared for the dreaded, “I’m sorry sir, we’re going to have to check that bag.” Pre-stripped I readied myself for entry into the security area. The watch and bracelet had all ready come off and been put away with the cell phone. The quart sized clear plastic bag containing the liquids permissible to board the plane (and that let everyone know I was gay by the fact that I was cramming face wash, moisturizer and three hair products into the small ziplock bag while there was no Mennen Speed stick in site) was all ready in a plastic bin and I was getting my laptop out to go into a plastic bin when I saw the bin seemingly move by itself in a shoved manner skidding past me. The man behind me I guess had decided that I was taking too long and decided to help me out. Help me out like when you’re a kid and don’t know it’s stupid to remove a chair from someone about to sit down. As I quickly moved forward to get up to my plastic bin and put the laptop in it I didn’t even look back at the asshole who had shoved it. He didn’t deserve one of my perfected icy stares of disgust. He wasn’t important enough for it.

So I get to the overcrowded gate and move right to the area where no one is sitting. I wanted to be able to look over at the humanity but not have to be a part of it. Soon he came. This oversized blustery man in a cheap charcoal gray suit. “What about this seat?” he indicated the seat next to the one that was housing my briefcase. I looked up, “It’s open.” As he plopped his oversized frame into the seat and seemed to be muttering to himself I was immediately sure that I had made a large mistake telling him the seat was open. First the cheap suit jacket came off. Next his carryon bags were place in a manner so that he could rest his oversized calves and feet on them. With a “galumph” his feet landed on the bags forcing the air out of them in a way that I thought he had killed his bags removing the last breath they would ever take. That’s when I saw them. Crocs. That’s right, while some might give him credit for the fact that they were black and definitely went with the cheap suit in their cheap rubberness, they were still crocs with a suit. And then he topped off the entire ensemble by pulling out of the inner coat pocket a mask with elastic that he stretched to fit his melon shaped head as if he was in some sort of spa for people who go to spas in an airport gate wearing cheap suits. As he began to snore two seats away from me I looked around the gate to see if anyone was seeing what I was seeing, to see if anyone was as disgusted as I was. No one even noticed. Then again, what could I expect? They were wearing crocs themselves, or flip flops, torn jeans and their iPod ear bud cords hanging down their chests.

This is it I thought, really it, forget travel being glamorous, it was no longer even attractive or civilized. So as I sit and type this and the snoring is becoming louder from cheap suit with crocs (his travel name, not his Indian name), I wonder if anyone sees me and gets that I’m not a “B54” as my boarding pass would suggest, I’m a seat 3D from back when 3D meant first class. I’ve said it before and now I’m saying it again, travel has lost all its glamour! – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      MH - Couldn't agree with you more. Wish I could have seen you with your toiletries case, I'm sure you WERE because you ARE fabulous!! And it was Southwest I was on however any airlines these days seems to be as bad as any other. Well, the people anyway.

      I just don't get why people who are so worried about getting through security, getting on a plane, getting in front of everyone else at the airport Starbucks as if it's the only water in a desert don't give a crap about how they look, smell or behave.

      Loving you right back, SLIS

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 7 years ago from Southern California

      Scott, I enjoyed this. :) I flew Southwest recently and I wore high heeled boots, a long skirt, and carried a red metal train case to hold my "toiletries." You would have thought I was carrying a bomb on board. People looked downright confused. Impractical? Maybe. Fabulous? For sure.

      I always have loved the romance of travel. The anticipation of the destination. The "special-ness" (I'm makingup my own words now).

      Anyway, It's sad that air travel today is like being in a Wal*Mart aisle retro-fitted with airplane seats. All unwashed ass cracks and rude service from half-retarded employess!

      Another nice hub from my favorite Hubber :)

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Nicole, Glad you enjoyed the hub and glad it made you think. Here's something else to think about. I get it, elastic waist pants are more comfortable but they also make me feel like a shlep. Put on something that really makes you feel good about you when you go out and I'll bet that you'll notice a difference in the way people treat you. Partly because you're dressed better but more because of the way you behave due to the fact you feel better about yourself. Try it and let me know!

    • Nicole Winter profile image

      Nicole A. Winter 7 years ago from Chicago, IL

      somelikeitscott: I'm all for being comfortable, but seriously?!? Crocs w/ a suit? That's just downright anarchy! Awesome hub, really gave me a lot to think about. (I'm one of the masses in pajama pants that you speak of.) My boyfriend occasionally gets on me about wearing what's comfortable, (to the corner store, or grocery shopping, or when I drop off or pick up my kid from school...) and I'm wondering now, if he might have something, here... obviously, I haven't been thinking about how others are viewing me while I run my daily errands. Thanks for publishing this, I really got a kick out of it!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      MM - I think it's when we all started believing that being "comfortable" was more important than anything else. I admit that a real waistband might not be as comfortable as those flannel elastic waist pajamas people wear out but the real waistband also reminds you not to eat as much because they're less forgiving than elastic. And maybe that's what we all need, some things in our lives that are less forgiving and more reminders of keeping us (and our waists) in line!

    • profile image

      Molly's Mom 7 years ago

      Amen to this Hub. So true. I'm much older then you and yes to travel was to be well dressed. Just wondering when it did change? And why?