ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Jacksonville, FL

Updated on June 15, 2012
Jacksonville Beach
Jacksonville Beach | Source

Should I stay...or should I go?

My job has offered me a major promotion. They've offered me a substantial raise and a fabulous job. What am I waiting for? Well...it involves moving halfway across the United States, alone...with my three young children.

I currently live in Kansas. I have lived here for 26 years. I have always felt...out of place. I've traveled a few times to the West coast to visit family-in-law members...and I always feel like I've 'come home' when I am there. When I come back to Kansas I go into a mild depression.

Last week I went to Jacksonville for extra training for my job related to claims. I fell in love. The scenery, the wildlife (frogs and lizards) and the beach, of course. Yesterday I was offered the promotion and the raise. My company is small but growing steadily. They are profitable and, in my opinion, it is truly an excellent company to work for. The powers that be have stated that they will not pay for the relocation. My initial reaction (to myself) was...Then give me a bigger raise.

I have a small war going on inside my manic mind. Should I stay? Should I go? Is it right for my kids? Have I investigated ALL of the possible costs? What if I hate it in two months? What if the weather sucks? What if I hate the position I am being promoted to? What if I miss my family too much? What if I get depressed and I'm alone with my kids? What if I am missing out on the biggest opportunity I have had thus far? What if I don't have another chance like this? What if I am stuck in a state where I never feel truly at home? Will my kids be happy? Will I find a decent place to live that is affordable? Will I find childcare that is up to my extraordinarily high standards? Are the schools good? How are the special needs programs there? Will the move and change cause a regression in all the progress we've made with my autistic son?

I hate big decisions like this. And, ultimately, I hate myself for being such a chickensh**. The truth is...I want to go to Florida so badly that my stomach hurts. Why is this decision so hard for me and so easy for others? I want to be whimsical and carefree...but I am logical and linnear. Is the decision so hard for me to make because it's not the right time or because it is not the right choice for my family?

I don't know what to do. I am scared/excited/happy/nervous/proud. But mostly, I am scared.

-IndiaGuerita

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 

      6 years ago from Central New Jersey

      Change is always scary, but usually worth it in the end. Life never offers any guarantees but if you never take a risk you never really live. I think you really want to do this and I think you should go for it. Won't you always regret it if you don't? Thanks for sharing all this and I'll be interested to read the details of your move and new job on Hubpages too:-)

    • GypsyPaints profile image

      GypsyPaints 

      6 years ago

      You must realize of course, how lucky you are to have such a dilemma going on in your life. How many people do you know who have such a choice? Do I go? Do I stay? It's always scary to leave behind the life you are living comfortably in to go out into the unknown. There are so many what ifs to face. I know you to be intelligent, level headed and (sometimes) practical. You are incredibly brave to have lived and dealt with the present problems going on in your life. You will eventually make a decision and there will be hardships to face either way. And there will be regrets if you stay and overwhelming hardships if you go. You are strong enough and smart enough to conquer the world. Take your time and the answers will come to you.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)