The Crazy State of Florida
Florida, home to nineteen million people. The twenty-seventh state in the United States and the fourth most populous. Home to reptiles, retirees, and oranges. It also has some really whacky people living there. The following stories will illustrate that.
Florida Man Attempts To Cash $368 Billion Check
Yup, only in Florida. Jeff Waters walked into a Bank of America Monday morning and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars. The check Waters had written to ‘Cash’ was reportedly from U.S. Bank of Idaho and issued in the 90s. Tellers at the Jacksonville bank were immediately suspicious.
Waters explained to bank officials a homeless man named Tito Watts sold him the blank check several months ago for $100 and told Waters the check would clear for any amount of money that Waters wanted to write it for.
Waters wanted the $368 billion to start an Italian restaurant. (Source - Moron.com)
Florida man ran over a family of ducklings as a human family watched in horror
Laura Gontchar loved the family of 11 Muscovy ducklings and their mother that lived near her home in Wellington, Fla. After the ducklings hatched, Gontchar and her family would leave food out for them and watch as the ducks ventured out of their lake to eat.
That’s exactly what Gontchar; her husband, Boyd Jentzsch; and their 7-year-old son, Kai, were doing on May 2, they said. That is, until Jason Falbo, a landscaper working his way through the yard on a riding lawnmower, started heading straight for the family of ducklings.
Gontchar told the Palm Beach Post that she ran outside to flag Falbo down as he approached the ducklings. Her son followed her, she said. “He was yelling, ‘Stop, stop! Ducks! Stop!’”
But according to the family, Falbo plowed right into the family of ducklings, then backed up his lawnmower to run them over again. All but two of the ducklings were killed; seven were killed in the lawnmower’s blades and two others drowned as what remained of the family escaped back to the safety of the lake.
See the original article here.
Naked Florida Man Killed By Police After Allegedly Eating Part Of Teen's Face
Authorities shot and killed a Florida man after he allegedly bit a teenagers face and attacked an ex-police officer.
Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw told reporters that witnesses described the 6'3", 250 pound man as having "superhuman strength," according to the Palm Beach Post.
Bradshaw said the man, who has not been identified, was walking naked down a Delray Beach street on Tuesday night when he, for no apparent reason, attacked a 66-year-old former cop.
Then the suspect allegedly assaulted an 18-year-old man, biting off a portion of his face, Bradshaw said.
Once police arrived, they were allegedly unable to subdue him until an officer shot him down.
See the original article here.
Naked Chewers, Part II: Rudy Eugene Identified As Naked Miami Man Who Chewed Victim's Face
An eyewitness who was riding his bike on the causeway Saturday afternoon said he flagged down a police officer after coming across Eugene, stark naked, chewing another man's face.
"The guy was, like, tearing him to pieces with his mouth, so I told him, 'Get off!'" Larry Vega told WSVN. "The guy just kept eating the other guy away, like, ripping his skin."
But Vega said when the police officer yelled at Eugene to back away, the naked man merely raised his head "with pieces of flesh in his mouth," growled, and began chewing again.
The officer reportedly then shot Eugene once, but Eugene still continued to attack the man's face, prompting the officer to shoot multiple times until he was dead. The shooting and its aftermath were captured on surveillance video from the Miami Herald's parking garage, but police are still trying to piece together details and are asking witnesses to come forward.
See the original story here.
Florida Man attempts to leave store with chainsaw stuffed down his pants
Yes, only in Florida. Can't he understand the potential safety hazards?
The incident in question unfolded before the video cameras at Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment in Port St. Lucie Oct. 28. The daring shoplifter is seen on video stuffing the ill-gotten goods down the front of his shorts and covering up his stash with his shirt. The man then waltzed out of the store, got on a bicycle and rode away. Port St. Lucie Police caught up with the man about 30 minutes later when he attempted to return it to the store after having a change of heart, TC Palm reported.
Source: New Port Richey Patch
Florida Man, once arrested for fighting drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed like KKK member, now running for mayor
This headline says all you need to know about Florida.
Boyd's own case breaks down to what he says is an inaccurate perception among law enforcement that he was an aggressor in the fight with the drag queen. Actually, Boyd says he was just defending himself, and in November, he's scheduled to go to trial on the assault charge. In the meantime, Corbin has thrown his hat in the race to unseat current Wilton Manors Mayor Gary Resnick.
Source: Broward Palm Beach New Times
Florida Man sentenced to prison for attempting to start "race war" near Disney World
On a rural compound just 11 miles from Disney World, Marcus Faella and his followers spent years stockpiling weapons and food, erecting barbed wire, and conducting elaborate paramilitary drills. Their goal, according to federal agents: igniting a 'race war' in Central Florida.
Circuit Judge Jon Morgan sentenced him yesterday to six months and gave him credit for 61 days served, meaning he could return home in about four months. His American Front followers yelled, 'We love you, Mark!' after hearing the sentence, the Orlando Sentinel reports.