Top Ten Most Promiscuous Cities in the US
I saw a headline the other day for a web slide-show of the “Top Ten Most Promiscuous Cities in the US.” I have to admit this caught my attention. Not because I’m a ho-bag (I’m happily married, thank you), but because I wanted to know which cities they were so I could wash my hands more if I should travel there.
This information was gathered by someone/something called OKcupid, and was available on a CBS News site. After reviewing the 10 cities in question, I wish they would have stated how they gathered the information necessary to come up with such a list. Check out the list below, and see if you go “huh?” like I did when a few city names come up. They aren’t cities you think of when you think of free-for-all parties, back-alley trists, and anonymous animal hot nakedness. And the cities that I do picture that stuff, did not even make the list.
Here we go.
10. Houston, TX. This one I have no problem with. It’s the 4th largest city in America, it’s a warm coastal city that has ample professional sports teams, and is a hub for drug trafficking thanks to the Gulf of Mexico. Why wouldn’t someone have promiscuous sex here?
9. San Diego, CA. Again, no problem with this one either. Its warm, its California, and I should probably mention that according Ron Burgundy the city’s name in German means “a whale’s vagina.” So it goes without saying this city should be on the list.
8. Denver, CO. This one surprised me for some reason, but I’m not sure why. I’ve been to Denver many times, and it never struck me as an “easy to get some” kind of town. Lovely city though. Beautiful scenery, and of course it’s the “Mile High” city. Maybe that’s the key: people think they are now in the “mile high club.” Sorry gang, it doesn’t work that way. However, I’m betting this one falls off the list now that Tim Tebow is in town. Those God-loving virgins ruin it for everyone.
7. San Bernadino, CA. This one surprised me as you never hear on TV that a hot-bed of sexual activity lives and breathes in San Bernadino. Of course the old Route 66 rolls through here. Maybe they’ll have to change it to Route 69. Booyah.
6. Dallas, TX. Ahh Dallas. Everything is bigger in Texas, (or so they say) so it is no shocker that this city made the list. It is the 9th largest city in the country, and a bajillion degrees during the summer. What else is there to do besides drink? Stay inside in the air conditioning is and slap some tail. Let’s not forget that it’s also home to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. That of course probably puts the city on entirely different list, but we aren’t talking about top self-pleasuring cities here.
5. San Francisco, CA. The only shock here is that it is not number one or two on this list. Everyone knows that San Fran has one of the largest (if not the largest) gay communities in the country. Those folks have a reputation for being bed jumpers, so their inclusion here doesn’t surprise me.
4. Miami, FL. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, and I do not feel the need to elaborate on this one. Sex is usually a reason anyone goes to Miami.
3. Pittsburgh, PA. This one threw me a bit. The Steel City is a treasure trove of hot love? I could see it being unwanted love since Ben Roethlisberger is there, but whatever. Plus Pennsylvania is the “Quaker State.” Apparently the harlots and charlatans have taken over. Thank God for that though. Pilgrims and bonnets are not sexy.
2. Seattle, WA. The home of grunge music and Starbucks is not a huge surprise on the list, but I am surprised at how high it is. My only reasoning is that it rains all the damn time. Much like Dallas, there is nothing else to do after listening to Nirvana and enjoying your venti-half-caf-no foam-soy- latte other than slapping some booty.
And the #1 Most Promiscuous City in the United States is:
Portland, OR. WHAAAAAAAAAATTTT?? I had to look up Portland to see what reasons (if any) it made the top of this list. The most apparent answer is that thanks to great city planning and foresight, Portland is one of the most “greenest” or environmentally friendly cities in the world. If you are talking “green,” you are talking nature. By talking nature, you are talking about one of the most common instincts in the world. Getting. It. On. God bless ya Portland.
You have to wonder where the seemingly obvious cities fall into this little survey? Where’s New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Las Vegas? Apparently they are off their game lately. Don’t fret guys. I’m sure you’ll be back on top before you know it. That’s what she said.