Top10 best reasons to fly with Ryanair?
If you’ve ever flown using a budget airline, you may be able to relate that experience to this article. Ryanair for the the lowest fares* and the best on time record** (caveats apply)
1. Lowest fares
Keen pricing always attracts fans. And Ryanair certainly has it’s fans. (And prices…?)
£0.99 for a flight if you book NOW!
Just wade through the various pages of the website (see below) and you might be looking at a bit more than that. There are at least two sets of admin charges – unless you are going to use some kind of bartering system to make payment. Plus taxes, plus any other add ons that you might be “tempted” / fooled to buying. So keep you eye on the sub-total as you go.
2. Online booking
Since Ryanair revamped its website, it’s been so easy to navigate around. Simply choose your departure airport from a drop down list that’s too big to fit on the screen and that you need to scroll down to then scroll within to find your airport. (Couldn’t be easier.) Then do the same for your destination airport.
Now click on “find flights”. Oh – yes, sorry...you first need to agree to terms and conditions by ticking another (not annoying) check box.
Next there’s a “Captcha code” page to get past. A beautiful touch.
Once you’ve found your flight, you only need to re-enter all your details every time you book (unlike some other airlines where they have some kind of new fangled log in system which retains all your details?).
Oh, then simply wade through a few more screens selecting “no” to insurance, “no” to a Samsonite walk on bag, “no” to ski equipment, etc., etc.
And finally to the payment page where for your efforts and the RSI caused by all that clicking, Ryanair will very reasonably charge you an “administration fee” for using any card for each flight and each person. Weird how Visa debit card charges are only 50p per transactions, yet I need to pay £72 for a family of four on a return trip. Never mind, eh?!
Cool. I’ve booked.
Oh – just a couple of additional pop up pages to close down following my booking (kindly offering me car hire, hotel rooms, etc.).
All very simple and what an enjoyable experience.
3. Online check in
Well it’s back to that wonderful Ryanair website for another treat.
(Again, Ryanair does not offer the facility to hold my passport data within a secure login page – good. I much prefer to spend time re-entering it every time I need to check in. My time is not as precious as the time and effort it would take Ryanair to pay someone to write that code.)
Enter your details and you’re away.
Well, not quite – just wade through another two pages offering you the last chance to reserve a seat. Understandably, if I fly on a budget airline, reserving a seat (or paying for the privilege of boarding first) makes me feel rather more superior than my fellow passengers. I can wave my ticket and shout “Priority” or waft my boarding pass ostentatiously with a self-satisfaction and state in a clearly audible voice (so that the entire cabin can here): “I’m afraid you are sitting in my reserved seat”. Wonderful!
So, thank you Ryanair for giving me a final chance to take you up on the reserve-a-seat option and (if I don’t want to this time) giving me the chance to pay for priority boarding. Oh, and – how cool is this – to pay you to text me when my plane is ready to board. AND advertise a whole bunch of stuff on my mobile phone. Nice!
Cool. I’ve checked in.
Oh – wait a minute – where’s my boarding pass gone? Oh, silly me - just a couple of additional pop up pages to close down (kindly offering me car hire, hotel rooms, etc.) so that I can locate and print my boarding pass.
Such ease of use.
4. Welcome on board
As soon as you board Ryanair, you know you are in good hands.
The music is Eine Kleine Nachtmusik which your fellow passengers will love to whistle along to, so why not join in?!
Once you’ve scrimmaged for your seat (or slipped, smugly into your reserved seat), sit back and enjoy the wonderful Mozart whistling be interrupted by adverts enticing you to “now it’s time to think about your first drink from the bar”. Do you know, when I arrive on a budget airline and sit back – I really do need to be told what to think next. And Ryanair is so helpful in assisting me here. A beautiful touch. Thank you Ryanair.
5. The Air staff
It’s wonderful to be hounded by the fixed-smiles air staff as they continually try to sell their wares during the flight. They will give you every opportunity to spend your money on the drinks trolley, duty free trolley, and various other merchandise they try to force down your necks. Again, what a pleasure.
There are some real characters: Like Veronika who calls here staff “lovely ladies” even though half of them are air stewards. The visible wincing every time she says this phrase must surely give her pleasure as no one else seems to be too amused.
And let’s not forget Viktor who signs off: “So from the very rich captain, the less rich co-pilot, and the rest of the impoverished crew, we thank you for flying Ryanair…”. Side-splitting!
6. Consumerism R Us
So you’ve bought your “cheap” flight and maybe (if you’re important enough) bought your reserved seat or boarded before the “riff raff”.
Now it’s time to spend some real money. And Ryanair gives you plenty of opportunity to do this.
Apart from “thinking about the first drink to order from the bar” reminder when you get on the airplane, you then get reminders throughout the flight of what else you can spend your hard earned cash on. Here are some tempting examples:
- Smokeless cigarettes: “Ryanair operates a strict non-smoking policy...” but Ryanair can offer you – out of the kindness of its heart – the health benefits of delivering nicotine through smokeless cigarettes. Any in two flavours. Such choice!
- Drinks trolley: Yes, you can buy a thimble-sized can of Coke for £2. And a Lilliputian-sized bag of nuts for another £2. Two gin and tonics with nuts? Of course, yours for the equivalent of a all-you-can eat meal for two at Pizza Hut. So why not?
- Phone / dialing cards
- Scratch cards
- Toilet water (sorry, “eau de toilet”) for as little as £25 from the duty free trolley
- More drinks – just a friendly reminder.
7. Sleep deprivation
Please don’t expect to sleep on a Ryanair flight – unless you have some super efficient headphones or earplugs. With all those helpful adverts; loud staff; and turning up the public address system (to make important announcements such as only 30 more minutes to order from the bar) sleep is just to good a time to waste.
8. A glass of water
Choking but haven’t got the notes for a bottled water? Sorry – you are on your own. Deal with it.
Such human compassion, Ryanair – way to go!
9. Rubbish collection
When you sell newspapers, magazines and various drinks that come in paper cups – would you think to recycle these? Maybe with different bag colours for recyclable and non-recyclable items?
Not a word of it! Who believes in the environment, pollution, or recycling? Certainly not Ryanair. I guess that if as a company, you are producing the equivalent carbon footprint of a small forest every time you fly, why bother recycling a few news papers.
Bold (if not a tad blinkered).
10. On time arrival
I you have ever had the pleasure of flying Ryanair then the chances of you arriving on time are near 90%. So just after you touch down, expect the trumpets to sound to another announcement of “Congratulations! You have arrived on yet another on time flight…”. If all other airlines added 30 minutes to their standard route times, they too could be on time.
Nice tactic, Ryanair!