Revealing "Tourist Traps" Designed to Rob You of Your Valuable Vacation Cash
Rain Forest wilderness
Ever heard of a "tourist trap"?
time for me to tell you the hard, cold truth about your vacation and the numerous pieces of junk mail you have received since last year. To say nothing about the colorful brochures that suddenly appeared in your mailbox all talking about "the" best places to take your family on vacation.
Warning: 80% of these travel-related companies are telling you a lie. They are out to get your hard-earned money by luring you to their so-called "perfect" family tourist attractions that everyone will remember for years to come.
This is the only thing the huckster companies are right about. You will remember these places as "the" worst places you ever visited--sober or intoxicated.
These places are so awful that you need to be intoxicated to endure them.
Have you ever been lured to a tourist attraction that turned out to be a dump?
THE PHOTO ABOVE IS THE AMAZON RAIN FOREST WILDERNESS and it is not that popular with American or third-world tourists. Oh it looks good. And it may smell good, but the rub is that you fork-over a minimum of $5,000.00 to take an airline who doesn't have such a great record to take you and the family to where this tourist attraction home office is located: a few miles from the Rain Forest inside a grass hut. There you will meet "Pepe," a Colombian teenager who has no sense of direction and cannot speak English. He will escort you to the middle of the wilderness, smile and leave you to survive on your own. Need me to yell at you, "Do not visit this place!"
IF YOU GET A BROCHURE telling you about landfills used by famous Hollywood celebrities, deposit it in the garbage. Do not open it. Some of these bogus brochures will tell you that if you visit these dangerous locations, for a small fee, you and your family will be allowed to pilfer through the mountains of trash possibly used by Jessica Alba, Oprah, George Clooney and Alan Alda. Do not be a doofus. Take the family to Disneyworld even if it does cost more.
IF YOU SEE COLORFUL BILLBOARDS ALONG THE INTERSTATE THAT READ famous Indian relic museum ahead 600 yards, keep going. "I" have been a sucker for this scam too many times to talk about. I am too ashamed of being so stupid. Turns out the so-called relics are nothing more than a few rocks covered in dry mud that some explorer (that you've never heard of) found in 1966--none of which can be proven. And the price we paid was $3.00 per head and this was in 1983. Plus the Indian warrior spears hanging from the ceiling you could tell were made by someone locally for they all looked showroom-new.
REMEMBER the famous Alligator Farms and Snake Museums
that dotted the landscape on the interstates heading into Florida? Well, in 1982, my family and I discovered that they were for real.
We stopped at this so-called "dangerous" alligator farm and it turned out to be just baby alligators laying around on some rocks and in a pool of water that was behind a shabbily-built fence.
The price: $10.00 for my wife, daughter and myself.
I left without being "scared," and "shocked" as the hundred or so signs on the interstate said that I would experience by visiting this place.
Care to sizzle
IN THE GOBI DESSERT? There are people in the "tourist-trap" "bait and switch," game who will dare to believe that you are not as smart as some Americans and will pay a hefty price (on your credit card) for a great trip with the family on a "once in a lifetime" opportunity to play with the natives and wildlife in the Gobi Dessert, one of the world's most-famous locations.
DO NOT FALL FOR THIS
scam. This is all it is. A scam. Oh, you can visit the Gobi Dessert sure enough, but you do not have to send some yokel a huge price on your credit card for the opportunity to survive in over-100 degree days and dry nights and all the time longing that you had never heard of a man named, "Alfred Junkus," world-renown travel expert.
PLACES SUCH AS:
- Slaughter houses
- Automobile salvage yards
- Famous early-American graveyards
- Unknown Civil War battlegrounds (just discovered)
- Homes of not-so-famous Hollywood stars
- Stretches of some Arizona highway named after a Wold War II hero
- Strange trees on some farmer's land in Iowa that has grown into a figure looking like president Gerald Ford
- Henry Ford's favorite restaurant
- Biggest rock in the civilized world
are nothing but scams, a huge hoax designed to get your money. And if you suddenly find out that these are clever "tourist traps," and ask for a refund, the representative has suddenly disappeared never to be seen or heard from again.
I saved this one for last
If you should receive
a brochure, a computer-generated phone call, or see a lot of homemade signs off the highway that read in big type: "See The World's Biggest Cockroach in Captivity," then step on the gas, buddy. This is a hoax.
Do the money-hungry people who promote such things really think that a sharp-thinker like you will really fall for this gimmick?
Yes. They sure do. And even if you are smart enough to keep rolling down the road, there will be some other sucker who does stop and lose his or her valuable money that they saved-up all year long just so their family could go on a much-needed vacation.
Besides, I have visited this place called "Cockroach Rodeo," and it only cost me $50.00 and the cockroach was not that big,
Now that I have saved you some money, you can relax and have a great vacation with your family.