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You Might Live In Arizona If

Updated on September 6, 2011
You Might Live In Arizona If...
You Might Live In Arizona If...

Arizona is a pretty unique place, and especially in Phoenix, at the heart of central Arizona's Sonoran Desert, it gets pretty hot. If you've only heard about the heat and wonder what living in Arizona is really like, here's the scoop!

You Might Live in Arizona If...

  • It's a hundred degrees outside, and you casually start a conversation about the weather with "well, at least it isn't THAT hot yet."
  • You carry your groceries home in a cooler with a bucket of ice.
  • When you go the grocery store, you park all the way at the end of the parking lot, not for the exercise, but for the shade.
  • When buying ice cream from the grocery store a block away, it comes home completely melted.
  • You religiously avoid running your oven because you "don't want to overwork the air-conditioner."
  • You avoid doing the laundry so you "don't overwork the air conditioner."
  • You avoid running the dishwasher so you "don't overwork the air conditioner."
  • Your air conditioner cost more than your car.
  • You buy fast food just for the air-conditioned indoor playplace.
  • You choose your home not by its features, but by its orientation to the sun.
  • A rainy day is welcomed with the fervor of winning the lottery.
  • You yield to pedestrians not to be polite, but because they look so much hotter than you.
  • You, your young children, your babies, and your dog all wear a hat and sunglasses on even short trips outside in the summer sun.
  • Nobody cares that you, your children, your babies, and your dog are wearing silly hats and sunglasses.
  • Any conversation about snakes end with "but at least it was one of the good ones."
  • You are not surprised to be having a conversation about snakes.
  • You can name ten varieties of snakes.
  • You know which ones are the good ones.
  • You know the difference between a rattlesnake and a gopher snake.
  • You keep a shovel outside "just in case."
  • Your seat belt gives you third degree burns.
  • The steering wheel gives you third degree burns.
  • The sidewalk gives you third degree burns.
  • Your in-ground pool gives you third degree burns.
  • You wear a winter glove, Michael Jackson style, for half of your commute because the steering wheel is too hot to touch.
  • All of your neighbors pity you because you don't have a pool.
  • Your cold tap water is hot four months out of the year.
  • Your grocery cart contains more fluids than solids.
  • Your toddler's first words are mama, daddy, splash, and hot!
  • You burn yourself on the BBQ, even when it isn't turned on.
  • You skip the BBQ grill and bake a foil dinner on the sidewalk.
  • Garage sales start at 5:00 a.m. end at 11:00.
  • You make more money on your yard sale selling lemonade than selling your personal junk.
  • Yard sale, yard schmale, you sell stuff on Craig's List.
  • You can name more than 10 varieties of cactus.
  • You eat cactus.
  • You know how to properly pronounce saguaro, cholla, and nopales--all cactus.
  • You believe that jumping teddy bear chollas will attack you.
  • You know of at least three ways to remove cactus spines from your hands.
  • You aren't disturbed by coyotes.
  • Unless they are people.
  • You keep your cats and small children indoors, because of coyotes.
  • You have ever weeded your lawn with a shovel.
  • You think crushed rock is roughly equivalent to grass.
  • You buy synthetic grass for your lawn.
  • Your synthetic grass gives you third degree burns.
  • You travel 4 hours north to "play in the snow" at least once a year.
  • Your high school mascot is the "monsoon".
  • You think anything east of Albuquerque is "back East."
  • You own a pair of cowboy boots for work and a pair of boots for dressing up.
  • You own a bola tie with with a scorpion slider.
  • You wear turquoise and conchos as formal dress attire.
  • You know snowbirds aren't birds.
  • It's February and you have a great tan.
  • It's March and you have skin cancer.
  • You leave your shoes at the edge of the pool.
  • Working in the garden makes you bleed.
  • All your plants die when you go on vacation for three days.
  • You own a t-shirt that states "It's a dry heat."

 

It's a dry heat.
It's a dry heat.

Comments

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  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    6 years ago from Iowa

    Well, ya know, it isn't that hot yet! Thank you for that, Dim. I've been feeling stuck in children's book revision mode.

    The other day I was pontificating on writing something humorous on middle-aged parenting. I've been losing so many brain cells after childbirth that most of my spare time has been devoted to looking for them!

    Thanks for making my day. You always do!

  • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

    Dim Flaxenwick 

    6 years ago from Great Britain

    l just love it when you are wearing your ´funny´´ hat!

    Some of the hubs you wrote when yo were pregnant had me laughing for days..

    So too for this one. Great. Thank you.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    6 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks MyMastiff, we moved to Iowa and have some of that "air you wear" during mid-to-late summer out here. Fortunately it doesn't last through every season and fall can be quite beautiful. We loved Arizona and didn't mind the dry heat...too much...as long as we were in an air-conditioned building.

  • MyMastiffPuppies profile image

    MyMastiffPuppies 

    6 years ago

    Excellent hub! It is extremely hot there but I will have to say I think I prefer the hot dry heat as opposed to the "air you wear" here in Alabama, I am so ready for fall! Voted up useful, awesome, funny and interesting...

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks FirstSteps! I'm glad this brought up some good memories for you. The heat is almost unbearable in the summertime but ah, the winters are lovely!

  • FirstStepsFitness profile image

    FirstStepsFitness 

    8 years ago

    Great Hub ....Hilarious ! I too lived in phx for around 3 years and near Bullhead for over 13 ....your Hub is all true !I reside in So-Cal now really miss the monsoon ! Here we have clouds scattered , winds but it never works into monsoon ! My family lives in Las Vegas now they could add to your list lol

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thannks kims3003. Yesterday we had a little monsoon rain with a pleasant wind. I rolled down the windows of my car and just enjoyed the breeze on my face!

  • profile image

    kims3003 

    8 years ago

    This was great to read! Especially since I was born and raised in Arizona and continue to love here today. Wonderfully written! Very well done. You have a very pleasing writing style. A++!!

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thank you!

  • ltfawkes profile image

    ltfawkes 

    8 years ago from NE Ohio

    Nice job. You covered it all. Very funny.

    L.T.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Glad to oblige!! Hoping for rain tomorrow!

  • Catlyn profile image

    Catlyn 

    8 years ago from Somewhere in the OC

    Hilarious!! Thanks for some Saturday night laughs!

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Yes it does! We're looking for rain soon too!

  • profile image

    Michael E. Horton 

    8 years ago

    "Please, let it rain." I like the history of Arizona and also i guarantee it does get really, really, hot.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks jjmyles! I love Arizona too. It's easy to complain about the dry heat but I love having Thanksgiving in my shorts and going hiking and visiting the zoo in February. Arizona is a great place to live.

  • jjmyles profile image

    jjmyles 

    8 years ago from Pacific Northwest

    Fun article! I love Arizona. My Brother lives in St. David and I love going to visit. I Grew up in Southern Cali. So I really don't mind the dry heat so much.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thank you Vicki, it is fun to see who some of our Arizonan Hubbers are! I just learned that a fellow new hubber is a resident of the suburb where I now live! In the fall and winter we'll be glad we survived it so we could enjoy the beautiful weather.

  • vicki goodwin profile image

    Sojourner McConnell 

    8 years ago from Winchester Kentucky

    Great list. I have lived in Phoenix for 10 years and I recognized all of them.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Yes, I always preferred the dry heat to the humidity. But the humidity is such a novelty, for three weeks out of the year we feel properly hydrated. It's hard to explain. I probably wouldn't enjoy feeling like I stepped out of the shower all of the time. :)

  • profile image

    ericsomething 

    8 years ago

    Wannabewestern, trust me. I'll take the dry 115 over the humid 95 any ol' time.

    But while you can feel monsoon season coming on because the humidity goes up in the desert, a good rain breaks that humidity up. Doesn't do that here in South Carolina; in fact it gets worse after a rain. Like, steam rising up from the streets.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thank you both for chiming in. I'm glad you enjoyed the hub. A change is in the air and I think monsoon season will be arriving in a week or two. I certainly hope so. Usually with the winds and the humidity we have 10 or 15 degrees lower. A humid 95 sounds pretty good compared to 112-115 degrees we have right now.

  • Ginn Navarre profile image

    Ginn Navarre 

    8 years ago

    Enjoyed these memories. Born in Tempe MANY sunsets ago and have written many hubs on my life there---now I live in WILD & WONDERFUL W.V.----SO COOL.

  • stuff4you profile image

    stuff4you 

    8 years ago

    this list is amusing I'm from MN so as a state we're quite the opposite in most ways.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks Splitty! I thought of a new one this morning, when it was 8:00 a.m. and 100 degrees in my yard. You can't trim your trees without drawing blood. I would love to be in Flagstaff now. Sometimes when we lived in Wickenburg we'd head to Prescott for the day on a weekend. Same effect, less distance.

  • Splitty Booms profile image

    Splitty Booms 

    8 years ago from Arizona

    HA! I've been here since 08' and I am guilty of 99% of the things on here. I honestly lol'd at "You travel 4 hours north to "play in the snow" at least once a year." Speaking of which, Flagstaff sure sounds nice right about now! Great hub!

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Wow, ericsomething, Bullhead City! Isn't that the hottest city in the state of AZ? You are a brave soul! the sidewalk egg-frying contest sounds like fun.

    I always joked with my friends that Arizona has three seasons: hot, hotter, and hell. So your mother and I must have been on the same wavelength. Though I've also made it through three summer-time pregnancies here, giving birth in the middle or the end of the summer each time. That probably also plays into things. My husband says my tolerance to the heat decreases a lot when I'm pregnant!

    Loved the comments! Thank you.

  • profile image

    ericsomething 

    8 years ago

    Great stuff, wannabewestern, and it's all true. In fact, they have a sidewalk egg-frying contest in Oatman (in Mohave County, pop. 150 counting dogs) every July 4.

    I lived in Bullhead City for several years, and still miss the place. But when I told my mom about the summers there she wanted to know "why you want to go to Hell when you're not even dead yet?"

    You might live in Arizona if ... you can step outside for 15 seconds and be able to tell what the temperature is, within two degrees. But honestly, once it tops 120 there's no real difference.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks Listlady,

    My parents can't tolerate the heat either. The best time for a visit is November through February. Typically the snakes are hibernating (not really a problem if you live in Phoenix, though), and the weather is mild and pleasant. Folks who visit in March can usually catch inexpensive Spring Training baseball games. In Surprise we have the Texas Rangers but other cities host other teams. Nice to meet you too and thanks for the rating!

  • TheListLady profile image

    TheListLady 

    8 years ago from New York City

    So funny but true. I have a friend who moved to AZ in November and of course her family wanted to come visit from VA. But it turned into a 'constantly check the weather' type of thing - and her parents, brothers etc. raced out to visit here back in March or April and told her that was it. If she wants to see them she can come to VA.

    Ah, and that dry heat. A (foolish) person from NYC moved there (sure he wore a bolo and got the cowboy boots etc.) and decided to hang out in the dry heat even though it was over 100 because as you say 'it's dry heat' well he soon passed out. It's not funny (of course it's not) - but we have to pay heed to the weather.

    Fun hub - and rated up. Yay! Great to meet you too!

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thank you! Good luck on HubPages--you're off to a great start!

  • profile image

    khmohsin 

    8 years ago

    Its very true..

    Nice information, and really it seams you have hard worked over it to make so readable.

    Thanks for sharing

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks all!

    Hello Hello- I wish I could. I'd be glad to send you some sunshine. I lived in England for about 3 1/2 years as a little girl in a little hamlet in East Anglia and then on the Air Force base where my dad worked. I remember I loved to be outside but that meant being drizzled on constantly. I love England, though!

    Dahoglund, I meant that! I can't wait to read your article!

    Joni, I believe it. My daughter, when we moved here, walked from our rental house to the one we bought (less than a quarter mile away) barefoot. I had no idea she was doing it. 20 minutes later she came into the house screaming. She had burned her feet and couldn't walk on them for about 2 days. This was in May. The sidewalks do get very very hot!

    Valerie, I have never been to Georgia but I've heard that the summers are hot and very humid. For the most part, I'll stick with the dry heat here! Regards!

  • valeriebelew profile image

    valeriebelew 

    8 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

    I've never been there but it had the strange resemblance to a Georgia summer. I'm constantly complaining these days that "it is too hot for life as we know it." Entertaining hub. Enjoyed. (:v

  • Joni Douglas profile image

    Joni Douglas 

    8 years ago

    Love it!

    I lived in Phoenix for a few years and actually fried an egg on the sidewalk on a hot summer day.

    When eating outside, we added ice cubes to our milk to keep it cold long enough to last the meal.

    Thanks for the memories. :)

  • dahoglund profile image

    Don A. Hoglund 

    8 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

    I like these. I've only been through Arizona once more years ago than like like to think I've lived, but I remember it as a beautiful place. I guess I'll continue to live in my northern clime.

    South of here but north of you, I've done a hub on Nauvoo that I think you said you would be interest in seein when I did.

  • Hello, hello, profile image

    Hello, hello, 

    8 years ago from London, UK

    Could you send some to England? At the moment we have a few hot days but will it last? Thank you for a great hub.

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks Marcie!

  • profile image

    Marcie 

    8 years ago

    Ha ha! I was laughing the whole time. Your list couldn't be more true!

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Actually Texas. My mom has a heart condition and it was during a heat wave. I think it was 112-118 degrees that day. both of my parents said the heat made them ill. I advised them to travel home north through Flagstaff instead of taking the southern route through Tucson!

  • maven101 profile image

    maven101 

    8 years ago from Northern Arizona

    They must be from California...Larry

  • wannabwestern profile imageAUTHOR

    Carolyn Augustine 

    8 years ago from Iowa

    Thanks Larry. My parents came to visit me in June when I was nine months pregnant with my last child. They left before 24 hours were up. They couldn't tolerate the heat. I will add that.

  • maven101 profile image

    maven101 

    8 years ago from Northern Arizona

    all true..! You can add that you may live in Arizona if your kids will only visit you in January...Thanks for reminding me what a wonderful state we live in...Larry

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