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You Might Live In Arizona If
Arizona is a pretty unique place, and especially in Phoenix, at the heart of central Arizona's Sonoran Desert, it gets pretty hot. If you've only heard about the heat and wonder what living in Arizona is really like, here's the scoop!
You Might Live in Arizona If...
- It's a hundred degrees outside, and you casually start a conversation about the weather with "well, at least it isn't THAT hot yet."
- You carry your groceries home in a cooler with a bucket of ice.
- When you go the grocery store, you park all the way at the end of the parking lot, not for the exercise, but for the shade.
- When buying ice cream from the grocery store a block away, it comes home completely melted.
- You religiously avoid running your oven because you "don't want to overwork the air-conditioner."
- You avoid doing the laundry so you "don't overwork the air conditioner."
- You avoid running the dishwasher so you "don't overwork the air conditioner."
- Your air conditioner cost more than your car.
- You buy fast food just for the air-conditioned indoor playplace.
- You choose your home not by its features, but by its orientation to the sun.
- A rainy day is welcomed with the fervor of winning the lottery.
- You yield to pedestrians not to be polite, but because they look so much hotter than you.
- You, your young children, your babies, and your dog all wear a hat and sunglasses on even short trips outside in the summer sun.
- Nobody cares that you, your children, your babies, and your dog are wearing silly hats and sunglasses.
- Any conversation about snakes end with "but at least it was one of the good ones."
- You are not surprised to be having a conversation about snakes.
- You can name ten varieties of snakes.
- You know which ones are the good ones.
- You know the difference between a rattlesnake and a gopher snake.
- You keep a shovel outside "just in case."
- Your seat belt gives you third degree burns.
- The steering wheel gives you third degree burns.
- The sidewalk gives you third degree burns.
- Your in-ground pool gives you third degree burns.
- You wear a winter glove, Michael Jackson style, for half of your commute because the steering wheel is too hot to touch.
- All of your neighbors pity you because you don't have a pool.
- Your cold tap water is hot four months out of the year.
- Your grocery cart contains more fluids than solids.
- Your toddler's first words are mama, daddy, splash, and hot!
- You burn yourself on the BBQ, even when it isn't turned on.
- You skip the BBQ grill and bake a foil dinner on the sidewalk.
- Garage sales start at 5:00 a.m. end at 11:00.
- You make more money on your yard sale selling lemonade than selling your personal junk.
- Yard sale, yard schmale, you sell stuff on Craig's List.
- You can name more than 10 varieties of cactus.
- You eat cactus.
- You know how to properly pronounce saguaro, cholla, and nopales--all cactus.
- You believe that jumping teddy bear chollas will attack you.
- You know of at least three ways to remove cactus spines from your hands.
- You aren't disturbed by coyotes.
- Unless they are people.
- You keep your cats and small children indoors, because of coyotes.
- You have ever weeded your lawn with a shovel.
- You think crushed rock is roughly equivalent to grass.
- You buy synthetic grass for your lawn.
- Your synthetic grass gives you third degree burns.
- You travel 4 hours north to "play in the snow" at least once a year.
- Your high school mascot is the "monsoon".
- You think anything east of Albuquerque is "back East."
- You own a pair of cowboy boots for work and a pair of boots for dressing up.
- You own a bola tie with with a scorpion slider.
- You wear turquoise and conchos as formal dress attire.
- You know snowbirds aren't birds.
- It's February and you have a great tan.
- It's March and you have skin cancer.
- You leave your shoes at the edge of the pool.
- Working in the garden makes you bleed.
- All your plants die when you go on vacation for three days.
- You own a t-shirt that states "It's a dry heat."
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