I fly a lot and I've had some pretty interesting experiences but the worst was easy to decide on.
I was flying from Chicago to Houston and this morbidly obese woman was sitting next to me and she couldn't wear a seat belt. She was that fat.
And apparently this was totally cool with the airline I was on.
So, I'm already nervous about this women becoming a missile if we hit some extreme turbulence, which I seem to have a knack for catching flights with a lot of bumpy rides and then she wants to talk non-stop because this is her first flight ever and she's nervous.
Now, I'm sitting next to the Thing-That-Wouldn't-Shut-Up and then she starts getting comfortable and kinda leans back a bit and starts spilling over into my seat.
Her voice is making me crazy because she gets winded really easily apparently and she has to suck in air to continue talking between sentences.
So, to literally stop her from body mass from flowing onto my right side, I put down my armrest.
Now, she starts copping an attitude, "That's not very comfortable for me."
"That's a drag." I reply thinking I'm a total problem solver.
So, she gives me stink eye and she gets a flight attendant and this is the best part.
I got a lecture about getting along with others on airplanes.
So I asked if the flight attendant if she was related to Tiny Tina there and I got moved to another seat and another free courtesy lecture from my awesome flight attendant.
I've never, ever been happier to get off a plane.