Your question definitely deserves a hub of it's own, and I hope I can find to respond properly soon. But, the short answer, my favorite lunch/dinner destination is Awful Authurs. http://www.awfularthursobx.com/
You have to try the crab balls, and the crab & lobster bisque. Yum.
My husband and I visited a couple of weeks ago for Sunday lunch and while I rarely eat oysters when I'm at the Outer Banks (another story), I was disappointed to note that Awful Authurs oyster prices had been affected by the Gulf oil spill. Still, local oysters or not, the food is great and the atmosphere casual and welcoming.