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Skinny Malinky Long Legs Big Banana Feet

Updated on February 21, 2013

This one`s for you Drax

Scotland has a great tradition of poetry, we have all heard of Robert Burns,Walter Scott and Robert louis Stevenston.

Over the years i have heard a lot of Scottish poetry from lesser known Poets and a few of them have stuck in my mind. i don`t actually know who wrote them but i am sure you will enjoy the poetry as much as I do.

A small selection of short poems from Scotland

1) On yonder hill i saw a cow it must have mooved, it`s not there now.

2) It`s Christmas day in the workhouse the snow is falling fast, I don`t want your Christmas Pudding stick it up your ass.

3) My Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers (knickers) it wouldn`t come down for half a crown ,but down came Santa clause.

4) I went to the pictures(cinema) tomorrow ,I found a front seat at the back,I said to the woman behind me,I cannot see for your hat, she gave me some broken biscuits,I ate them and gave her them back,I fell from the floor to the ceiling and that was the end of that.

5) Skinny Malinky Long legs big banana feet,went to the pictures but couldn`t find a seat when the picture started Skinny Malinky farted,Skinny Malinky long legs big banana feet.

i hope you enjoy them as much as i do.....jimmy

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    • profile image

      Toots Totes 

      3 years ago

      Slightly different version (north London)

      I went to the pictures tomorrow

      I took a front seat at the back

      I fell from the pit to the gallery and broke a front bone in my back

      I ran down the straight crooked corners and saw a dead donkey die

      I took out my pistol to stab him and he kicked me one back in the eye!

    • profile image

      erchie another auld yin 

      3 years ago

      rad ha the glesge glutton ate his shirt and left the buttons

    • profile image

      echie 

      3 years ago

      my dad always had a silmiler one to auntie mary had a canary up the leg o her drawes she sat oan the gas burnt her arse and the canary too

    • profile image

      siscokid 

      4 years ago

      Yer auntie Mary hud a canary up the leg ay her drawers,

      She pulled a string tae make it sing,

      An doon came Santa Clause

    • profile image

      bigkeeko 

      4 years ago

      John kelly, rubber belly, ten toes, rubber nose, wind him up an awa he goes.

      and...

      Brian McKie wi the hole in his ee, twa in his erse an that makes three.

    • profile image

      Kandice 

      5 years ago

      Any idea where the Skinny Malinky rhyme comes from? I know a similar one from my childhood in Newfoundland, Canada.

    • profile image

      Gorbals Jack 

      6 years ago

      (To be sung to the melody of Torna Di Sorrento).

      Hear the music of the watter (water), see the baggy minnaes (fat minnows) scatter, some are wee (small) and some are fatter, some ye cannae (cannot) see at awe (all).

    • profile image

      Gorbals Jack 

      6 years ago

      I had a wee monkey a bonnie wee monkey I fed it on Marshall's breid (bread), Marshall, Marshall stick it up your a***hole, my wee monkey's deid (dead).

    • profile image

      Ivor Biggin 

      6 years ago

      (To be sung to the melody of the Colonel Bogey march)

      Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Kelvin Hall, Himmler has something similar, and poor wee Goebbals has no balls at all.

    • profile image

      Braveart 

      6 years ago

      Dear auld Annie was my lassies wee Grannie and she had a hell of a cough, she farted out loud and there gathered a crowd, for she'd blown her knickers clean off.

      I saw my mate not looking great as he walked his little dug, said he tae me "he's history, I'm gettin him made intae a rug";

      I asked "is he mad?"he's not very glad" was my friends reply tae me, he farted last night by candlelight, and barbequed my bloody tv.

    • profile image

      Tollie Muncher 

      6 years ago

      Ma maws a millionaire, blue eyes and curly hair, sitting among the eskimos having a game of dominos, ma maws a millionaire;

      Ma maws got loads of class, bawheid and big bare arse, she loves her curry and her beans suffocated 40 weans, Ma maws a millionaire.

    • profile image

      John Mallan 

      6 years ago

      Yesterday apon the stair, I met a man who wisnae there, He wisnae there again today, I wish tae God he'd go away.

      Skinny Malinky long legs big banana feet went tae the pictures and could'Mae find a seat, when the pictures started King Kong carted Skinny Malinky long legs big banana feet.

      Yesterday upon the road, I met a coo, A BULL B'GOD!

      I went tae the pictures tomorra, I got a front seat at the back, a wimmin she gave me some biscuits, I ate them and gave them her back, I feel from the stalls tae the balcony, and broke my front bone at the back, and when I got oot of the pictures, I nearly half killed a deid cat.

      Hope you enjoy.

    • profile image

      Lindsey Scott 

      6 years ago

      I once took a nice young lady to a certain fancy ball.

      And the tickets I paid was 2/6

      And I thought that, that would be all

      But when she asked for supper,

      I then gave a frown.

      cause all the money I had in the would

      was only half-A-crown.

      she had oysters Raw, Turkey Claw, Chicken, Leg and Breast

      Mutton & Beef beyond belief, she laid across her chest.

      Ham and Tongue, for a girl so young

      A cargo she put down

      And I gave a sigh when she asked for a pie,

      cause I'd spent my half-A-Crown.

      Now Beneath this young girls overall

      there must have been a tank, or a second handed Brewery,

      cause this is what she drank.

      She'd a bottle of Bass, and a good stiff glass of Brandy

      to begin, an awful lot of whiskey hot. And a doze of rum and Gin.

      McGuiness Stout she poured about.

      Half way up and down

      and I fell to the floor

      when she asked for more as

      I'd spent my

      half-a- crown.

    • profile image

      amanda p 

      6 years ago

      I was aye taught:

      Skinny Malinky long legs umbrella feet,

      Went to the pictures, fell through the seat,

      When the picture started Skinny Malinky farted,

      Skinny Malinky long legs umbrella feet.

    • profile image

      mary hall 

      8 years ago

      Mary McGuire peed in the fire, the fire was too hot so she peed in the pot, the pot was too wide so she peed in the clyde, and all the wee fishes ran up her backside. Theree's one for you Glasgow folk.

    • profile image

      Nikki...www 

      8 years ago

      your all wrong!

      I went to the pictures tomorrow,

      I got a front seat at the back,

      I said to the lady behind me,

      I can't see over your hat,

      She gave me some whole broke biscuit's!

      I ate them and gave her them back!

    • profile image

      aoifex x 

      8 years ago

      the one i learned was:

      i went to the cinema tomorrow,

      i took a front seat at the back,

      i fell from the pit to the gallery,

      and broke a front bone in my back.

      a woman she gave me some chocolate,

      i ate it and gave it her back,

      i phoned for a taxi and walked it,

      that's why i never came back:)

    • profile image

      Matt 

      8 years ago

      I went to the cinema tomorrow, I got a front seat at the back.

      I bought a plain cake with currants in, and buttered it well with fat.

    • profile image

      Kelly 

      8 years ago

      I'm of Irish decent and know the "I went to the Cinema tomorrow" but slightly different and only short!

      "I went to the cinema tomorrow

      And took a front seat at the back

      But fell through the floor to the ceiling

      And broke a front bone in my back."

    • profile image

      JessieTay6 

      8 years ago

      I know this version:

      I went to the cinema tomorrow

      I sat in the front row at the back

      I said to the lady behind me

      I couldn’t see through his glass hat

      She gave me some broken whole biscuits

      I ate them and then gave them back

      I fell from the floor to the ceiling

      and that was the end of that.

    • profile image

      D Brennan 

      8 years ago

      It was Christmas day in the workhouse the snow was falling fast I don’t wont your Christmas pudding you can stick it up your ask no question your hear no lies have you ever seen a donkey doing up his flies are pest but bees are worse how did you like my Chinese verse

    • profile image

      bobby boo baa 

      9 years ago

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTl0NcTnk4U&fea...

      skinny ma linky original song. brilliant

    • profile image

      Matty 

      9 years ago

      This is my version

      tomorrow i went to the cinema and took a front seat at the back. a lady gave me some chocolates so i ate them and then gave them back. I walked back the straight crooked corner and saw a dead donkey die. so i took out my pstol and shot it between the eyes.

    • profile image

      brissy 

      9 years ago

      I would love to recite or hear that christmas day in the workhouse in full , heve anybody ever seen it about have been looking for years , exhausted google .

      Here's hoping

      Brissy56

    • profile image

      johnboyjohn 

      10 years ago

      dad once old me the "Iwent to the pictures tomorrow" and i ve been looking for it for years, cheers

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      10 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks Siobhan, I love that version, although I have never heard it before, i am still laughing as I type......jimmy

    • profile image

      Siobhan 

      10 years ago

      I always knew a slightly ruder version of Auntie Mary!

      Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers

      When she farted, it departed, into a round of applause!

    • profile image

      Iðunn 

      10 years ago

      I miss these days. JimmytheJock in his most enjoyable form - silly! :)

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      10 years ago from Scotland

      thanks Karen that is the version I use too, but I translated it to English for the international readers of this page.....jimmy

    • profile image

      karen 

      11 years ago

      my version:

      skinnymalinky longlegs big banana feet

      went tae the picutes, couldnae fin' a seat

      wen the picture started

      skinnymalinky farted

      skinnymalinnky longlegs big banana feet

    • profile image

      Don MacIver 

      11 years ago

      Thanks for the excerpts here, had a good chuckle! Being of Scottish descent I get a kick out of such verse.

      Cheers, Don

    • kbwright profile image

      kbwright 

      11 years ago

      What about Lord Byron he was originally a scottish poet, not an English poet.

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      11 years ago from Scotland

      i have never heard that version before thanks for sharing.....jimmy

    • profile image

      divad 

      11 years ago

      the skinny malinky poem is a rather rude version

      we were taught .....

      Skinny malinky long legs with umbarella feet

      went to the pictures and couldn’t find a seat

      When he found a seat he fell fast asleep

      Skinny malinky long legs with umbarella feet.

      much more pleasnat a poem

      cheers dad (rip)

    • profile image

      Iðunn 

      12 years ago

      haha! nice batch!

    • Drax profile image

      des donnelly 

      12 years ago from NYC....

      ROFL Jimmy... I think my favourite is the one about the cow.. and I haven't heard of skinny malinky for years and years... thanks mate..

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