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Funny Office Humor

Updated on February 17, 2008

Office Humor

Why not make the everyday, mundane workplace a little fun an interesting? I mean, you don't want to play practical jokes that will get you or fellow co-workers fired, but cute games and jokes between friends... What's the harm right? ;-)

Here are five funny jokes pertaining to office humor.

Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge

Ok, so this man with a winking problem is applying for a job to be a sales representative in a large firm.

The guy's interviewer looks through his papers, "Wow, you graduated from top schools; your recommendations are wonderful; your experience is superb. Now, normally, we'd go ahead and hire you without a second thought, but being a sales representative, you'll be in a very visible position. We just think that you winking problem will scare off customers. So, I'm sorry, but we can't hire you."

"But, if I take two aspiring, I'll stop winking."

"Really! That's great. Show me."

So the guy, reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out all sorts of condoms- red and blue ones, ribbed ones, and flavored one- and finally, he finds the aspirin.

He takes the two pills, and stops winking.

"Well, that's all well and good, but as a respectable company, we cannot have out employees womanizing all over the map."

"Womanizing? Excuse me. I'm happily married."

"Then how do you explain the condoms?"

"Ha. Well, have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

Office Motto

When you do a job right the first time, you get the job done, but, when you do a job wrong 10 times, you get job security.

Better Get Your Facts Straight

When Smith came into the office late for the third time in one week, he found the boss waiting for him.

"What is it this time Smith? I want to hear a good excuse for once. "

Smith sighed, "Well, everything went wrong, Boss. My wife decided to drive me to the station. It took her ten minutes to get ready, but then the drawbridge got stuck going down. So, instead of disappoint you again, I decided to swim across the river. See, my suits still wet. But, anyway, I ran to the airport, and was able to get a ride on Mr. Jones' helicopter. We were able to land on top of Radio City Music Hall. Then, I was carried here via piggyback by one of the Rockettes."

"Well, Smith, you're going to have to do better than that. No woman get ready in ten minutes."

Computer: Male or Female

These two groups of computer experts were set up to find out whether a computer is male or female.

The group of women decided that computers need to be considered male because:

  1. Turning them on, is the only way to get their attention.
  2. They can retain a lot of information, but remain clueless.
  3. Where they are meant to help you with your problems, half the time, they are the problem.
  4. The moment that you commit to one, is the moment that you realize that if you had waited just a little bit longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The group of men, on the other hand, decided that computers are female because:

  1. No one can understand them except for the creator.
  2. The language that they use to speak with other computers, only makes since to them, and is incomprehensible to every one else.
  3. All mistakes, no matter how larger or small are stored in their memory for later retrieval.
  4. The moment you commit, you find that you're spending half your pay on accessories.

Primary Education

Q. Do you know why the nurse went to an art school?

A. To learn how to draw blood

Ending, on a simple note. I found this question/ answer joke gave me a small chuckle. I think it would have been a little funnier if it was more of a blonde joke.

Comments

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    • Luna di Blu profile image

      Luna di Blu 8 years ago

      LOL - good ones! :)

    • MellasViews profile image

      MellasViews 9 years ago from Earth

      lol. loved it. thanks for sharing. gave me a good chuckle. ; )

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