ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Raising Boys And Creating A New Normal

Updated on February 21, 2020
taylerangele94 profile image

Mama to two beautiful children. My living son Grayson, and my daughter in heaven, Mila. I hope to share our story in a way that helps others

Raising a boy in this generation is an overwhelming task. If you are like me, you are just hoping you don’t raise an asshole. It seems easy enough, right? With all of the outside influences and stigma around the male gender it can be a challenge to say the least.

My son is still in the extra cute, sometimes tornado-like toddler stage. So obviously I have yet to deal with the blunt force of it. Even at this young age I pray for him to be a good man, with a loving heart. Us mamas love these babies unconditionally, and never want to see them struggle.

He is from a broken home, by that I mean his parents are divorced. Add to that the hardships that come with being born after the sudden loss of his big sister. You can trust that I feel the guilt there. Not that the situation was actually avoidable. I guess the guilt rises from wanting so badly to give my child the best life possible, despite the past that may cause him bumps in the road ahead. You see so much about an individual’s childhood “trauma” (whatever that may be pertaining to) shapes who they become as an adult.

Like all mamas, I try to shield my child from anything that could possibly traumatize him. As we all know, life can be so unexpected, some changes are unavoidable. And of course, aren’t always negative. I have always said, I want to give Grayson a childhood he doesn’t have to recover from. I do my best every day to live by that and give him as many good experiences as I am able.

One thing I am inherently thankful for is the male role models I am able to have in his life. My father, has been a strong example for what a man should be since way before my son was even born. Gray is absolutely obsessed with his Papaw, I’m pretty sure he would pick him over me any day of the week. I love that he will grow up having that bond to help shape him into a man one day.

Arfan, my boyfriend, has been in my son’s life since he was just shy of nine months old. This man is the blessing I never saw coming. He and Grayson have had a connection from the start and it has grown into such an amazing love between the two of them. The example he sets for Gray as a Christian man makes me so proud to do this parenting thing with him. He has taken on a role that was not his responsibility, but he loves my son as his own and I hope that Grayson carries that kind of love into adulthood.

Platforms like his Brotherapy Podcast truly give me hope for the future. To sit down and expose your emotions and use your (maybe less than proudest) life choices and experiences to help others heal is a big deal. For this platform to come from two successful grown men, is so refreshing and raw. I’m am lucky enough to get a front row seat to this endeavor and expose my son to this amazing display of positive masculinity at a young age.

So many boys grow up hearing that they have to “suck it up” that boys don’t cry. They’re made to feel like they have to like the boy toys and it’s wrong to like the play things marketed for little girls. From an early age, they are taught to bottle up their emotions and not talk about the way they feel. That is why Brotherapy’s mission statement “create a new normal” is so powerful even within our family.

I don’t know about you mamas, but I’m not raising up my little guy to be scared of what he likes or of letting his feelings be known. As long as he does so in a respectful way. So yes, my son has a baby doll- he loves on it and rocks it to sleep. He also loves cars, dinosaurs, and playing in my make-up. When he cries he gets big snuggles from his mommy, and when he’s mad he gets patience and understanding.

We have a responsibility to raise up gentlemen to the best of our abilities. As much as it hurts my heart, I know that one day my tiny boy will grow up and marry someone’s daughter. I pray for his future wife and I pray that I can give him the guidance to lead his family and love them well. I hope to watch him thrive and become a thoughtful man with the influence of the Brotherapy platform, and the man who brought this dream to fruition.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)