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What if Humans Laid Eggs?

Updated on July 20, 2017
Theophanes profile image

Theophanes is a New England-based blogger, traveler, writer, photographer, sculptor, and lover of life.


What if people laid eggs? When you read this your first reaction is probably a little laugh but this particular question has tickled my mind for a long time and now it’s coming to light in ways even I couldn’t have predicted.

In our current political climate there’s a “War on Women” being battled out in our United States. Most of these issues come back to women’s reproductive rights and what they should be allowed or not allowed to do. What would this war look like if we laid eggs? Would there be Christian protesters standing outside the courthouses holding picket signs reading, “Omelets are murder!”? Would there be global chicken worship? Would there be eggs left by the dozen at the entrance of Catholic churches? Would hapless teenage girls be lopping their eggy oopsies in the bushes and hoping no one would notice? What if someone found these abandoned eggs, would that constitute murder? Attempted murder? Abandonment and neglect? And what if one of these eggs failed to hatch, or worse, got cracked? Then what? Is someone to blame? Would there be parasitic egg layers? People who lay eggs at the same time as others and switch their little shelled dumpling for someone else’s? Currently we have sperm bank scandals like Bertold Wiesner siring up to 600 children in his London based sperm bank. Would there be a female counterpart for this if we laid eggs? It’s not beyond possibility…

These are the questions that sadly keep me up at night as I stare at the ceiling. It’s sad, I know, it’s almost as if I’ve completely cracked.

More from this Author:

Blogs:

Catching Marbles - A New England based travel blog

Tales from the Birdello - For all homesteading and farming matters

Deranged Thoughts from a Cluttered Mind - For funny personal anecdotes

FaceBook:

Through the Looking Glass Farm

Typhani Brooks - Artist

Instagram

Twitter

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    • Theophanes profile imageAUTHOR

      Theophanes Avery 

      6 years ago from New England

      LoL, yeah, those poor unfortunate eggs... and indeed, dumb things do keep me up all night long but I am OK with that!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      6 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Funny!!! So THIS is what keeps you up at night staring at your ceiling. Now I know. Haha! Up votes! Next time I have an omelet, I will be thinking of all of those cracked eggs and your getting some decent sleep.

    • eec2011 profile image

      eec2011 

      6 years ago from California, USA

      Interesting and funny topic.

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