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Marriage Cheating Signs
How to know if your spouse is cheating on you
First of all you have to take into account that every person is different and every one may display different actions depending upon your situation. In my case I was married both times for a good amount of time with both my marriages that ended in infidelity so I know what it means to be cheated on and I also remember the signs in both marriages that stuck to me.
Again every one is different and every situation is not the same so don't take mine and make it your own. But rest assure that there are always signs that we just may not even be paying attention too.
I can remember a time when my mother who was very wise about such matters when it came to relationships said that when in doubt don't ignore it, or sweep it under the carpet so to speak. But go see for your self rather then to find out later that it was so. But even then not everything is what it seems or appears to be, this is something that you have to have the facts before confronting that person in question.
Well I don't believe in stalking but I also feel that since you are in a committed relationship you have that right to know that your questions are being answered. So if you don't want to come off in being insecure etc. Then check the situation out without them knowing about it. Because if they are cheating in most cases they will not tell you, but they will find ways to hide the truth.
Unless he was a stand up type of man and he came forward and admitted it but that is few and rare.
Most men like to eat their cake and ice cream and they would do anything to not get caught. Unfortunately that was the type of men that I was married too. Went from one cheater to the next.
First and foremost is when you are in the dating stages and you begin to open up to each other , talking about your past relationships usually that is one of the subjects that come up. If they admit to cheating in their previous marriage or committed relationship you are taking a risk marrying him or her on that truth alone. Because most cheaters will do it again.
Most women or men think that well they just never found the right one and they won't do it again because the past relationships weren't as good as who you are. That is far from the truth.
UNLESS their life was turned around or they got old and unwanted that they just didn't have it anymore and had to settle for what they had. They are most likely going to cheat again. Plain and simple.
How To Catch A Cheater
Ex-Spouse Number One
1. He mixed lies with the truth: for example when I caught him with a phone number he would make up a lie about that person and who that person was. Then he had me call that phone number. The person on the other side would not be there which was the truth as well as the phone number he was calling so then I would believe him because he was willing to allow me to call. "DUMMY me! I felt that since he had me call ....then surely he must of been telling me the truth.
If you knew him he was able to make a lie sound like the truth. He was so good at it that he could actually pass a lie detective test. That is no lie I kid you not!
2. He would disappear and I wouldn't even know where he was at.
3. I followed him out and I saw a car a distance away with her lights on so that he can find her. A plan that they both make so that they won't be caught WOW!
Ex-Spouse Number Two
1. Now this one was not as obvious in his cheating. He was very careful to cover his tracks.
2. First time is when he got a call from an ex at our home and he hung up the phone right away. I caught that ....I made him call her back. (Why in the heck was she calling our home phone and how in the heck did she get the number?) I saw the look in his eyes but he called her and then I got the phone from him and she said that she was with him in a hotel that she had paid for. But I only had her word. I had no prove, he always denied it , he never ever admitted to being with her. BODY GESTURE is a sure sign even if they deny it. Watch their body language! Also the hanging up a phone call when your around.
3. Always having a excuse to leave town or be out a lot is another sure sign that something might be going on. But in my case it was in another country which his excuse was to see his family. That was believable but then again not all true.
4. I caught him on the phone talking in his language when he came back from being out of town or in my case country, so I asked him who he was talking too? He said my sister (odd) my sister wouldn't be talking in that language to him. Being on the phone then lying about who they were talking too is another sign that they are covering up something. I let that one slip by.
5. Some men feel very good about them self so they want to be with you more sexually. This was in the beginning of our marriage. His ego was big. But later in the marriage he didn't bug me as much for sex. This is the time that he had feelings for this lady.
6. But as time went on he would do more for me around the house or do something nice for me because of his guilt. I noticed that he tried to keep me happy even if I was mad, most men would get mad back at you. This is before he got serious for this woman.
7. But then when it got serious he tend to want to leave more and more around the most important time and that was around Christmas. First he said it was because of his mother but then his mother died and he never really said it was about his children there, since he was leaving his children here. Wanting To Be Gone More.
8. He use to be kind of jealous but seem to not care that much anymore even suggested that I should have coffee with a man that was online. When in fact he almost broke the computer when I was just innocently chatting online with him standing watching trying to show that I didn't have anything to hide. Funny almost breaking the computer to yes have coffee with the man dear. A changed attitude can mean that they have something to hide. Jealous one moment and not caring all of a sudden.
9. This time I really knew something was up because his mind seem to be else where and he really didn't even take notice to me or the kids anymore. Their mind is in the clouds!
I prayed to God that this time I would have the real prove of his cheating and that he wouldn't be able to get away with it. It is hard to prove something when they are in another country, real hard but knew that it would be brought out in the open as I prayed with my whole heart not wanting him to get away with it again. Sure enough my son found all the texts sent to a woman and the love messages in his cell phone. That he couldn't lie his way out of this one. TEXT MESSAGES. He tried to get to his phone before my son but my son was smart enough to copy and paste all those messages to his phone lol. BUSTED!
I really believe that he was trying to cover up so he can continue to live his cheating life and have his cake and ice cream. I thank God that the truth finally came out and I had the prove to back it up. I kicked him out and changed the locks and never let him back in.
Listen To Your Instincts
Your gut says that there is something wrong. Don't act unless you have the prove then you are left with the decision on what to do. Hopefully you can both get help but if not follow your heart. The bible says you must stay married unless there has been infidelity within the marriage then you are free to divorce. For me when they cheated the marriage was already over.