Everyone has a past whether it is a factor in your relationship remains up to the two of you. You must be honest about it. I don’t believe that it should be the “first thing” that’s discussed on first dates. It should be discussed when the two of you have come to a more serious stage in the relationship.
Let’s face it not everyone is completely honest about what or who they did in the past. It’s in the past. It’s how you respond to it that matters. There can be many “issues” that you chose to leave in the past because they’re painful, harmful or meaningless to discuss.
When and if you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level & your history has been brought up; will you be ready? Is anyone ever ready? One always said never judge a book by its cover. You may think you have that “great partner” but then their past comes about. You hear rumors about them from other people. You begin to question the authenticity of the person you’re dating. You begin to think; that can’t be true. You are not left with all these thoughts in your head. What do you do next?
You & your partner reached the point where you want to know more of one another. The conversation is coming up. You feel the knot rising in your throat when you just say “Dam, well so and so told me that you had several lovers before me including them.” Is this true? BOOM! You just messed up your entire relationship.
This is not how you approach this type of conversation. You simply take the time in telling your partner you would like to know more about their past. You understand that it doesn’t matter however you would like to know everything there is about them. When you take a smooth approach at it you will find yourselves getting the answers you seek.
It also depends on if that person is willing to share that with you. If they choose not to after years of being together remember this maybe something they don’t want to speak of for numerous reasons. So, before you start that topic ask yourself if you really want to know the answers.
If they do confide in you their past, their secrets, things they don’t want to ever discuss & yet they finally do. Don’t forget it is their past and you cannot or should not judge them for it. Everyone and I do mean everyone has secrets or somethings or people from their past they wish to remain there. Do yourselves a favor and prepare yourselves if you don’t like what you will hear.
Not everyone is perfect or a saint. Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Some more than others. When and if you’re ready to hear of them do not judge the person for what they did, who they did, what was done to them or they did to others. Always remember it was then and not now.
Couples who are open and honest with one another about everything ranging from their past to present will conquer all. Keep this in mind if and when you want to know everything there is to know about the one you love.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Lynn Rocha