I Had A Miscarriage - The Loss Of A Child

Have you been through a miscarriage ? Maybe one or more over the years ? Was it a child you had planned for , were excited about having in your family ?

My first miscarriage was in the 80's . We were living in Caloundra QLD & I remember the day very clearly .

My Sister Susan was working in Coles Supermarket , we were waiting for her to finish work before picking her up & going shopping for a pram .

Our daughter Tania was 2 & was very excited about a new baby brother or sister .

Just before leaving the house I went to the toilet And at that moment I lost our baby .

We rushed to the hospital and instead of buying a pram I went through the physical pain as well as the emotional pain of losing our child

That was about 24 years ago & I still remember laying in the hospital crying for my baby.

I was fortunate and became pregnant to a beautiful girl called Gemma as well as later on having a 3rd daughter Danielle.

If it wasn't for another miscarriage we would have a fourth child about 12 years old now.

Many ask the question "What is a miscarriage "? Why do people lose their babies ?

A miscarriage is any pregnancy that ends spontaneously before the fetus can survive. A miscarriage is medically referred to as a spontaneous abortion.

What are the symptoms of a miscarriage?

I suffered bad Cramps and vaginal bleeding which are the most common symptoms noticed with spontaneous abortion. The cramping and bleeding may be very mild, moderate, or severe.

I had severe cramps and pains similar to having a normal birth yet nothing to show for the pain .

What Causes a Miscarriage ?

There are a few things that can cause a miscarriage such as smoking ( I have never smoked in my life )

Infections

Hormonal factors

Diabetes

Collagen vascular diseases which are illnesses in which a person's own immune system attacks their own organs.

When I had my miscarriages I never heard of Miscarriage support so I guess I never really dealt with it apart from crying for the baby we never got to meet.

I put all my energy into enjoying my daughter Tania & the new baby Gemma.

Having a Miscarriage is frightening, frustrating and very sad as it is your baby, toddler ,teenager to be you have lost . Get support and advice from others who share your experience and can help you cope with the loss.

Look up Miscarriage support in your local area and get the support and help you deserve for you and your family.

Even though these Babies didn't live very long they are children that were waned and loved however briefly and there is a loss involved.

Are you struggling with what to say after a friend or relative has suffered a Miscarriage ?

There are no words that will take away the pain so that doesn't matter .

What is important is that you listen to her tell you how she feels , how much it hurts both physically and emotionally .

Help out with a meal / housework or take her out for a coffee in the outdoors .

WHAT NOT TO SAY

IMPORTANT---- Never say " Least you were only 6 weeks pregnant " ( or whatever number )

Never say " At least you have another child "

Never say " It was probably for the best ""

They have just lost a baby and need time to grieve so just be there for them.

For the babies that we never saw or held in our arms and for all the other lost babies here are some poems dedicated to you all.

These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."
~Unknown

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says of our love for you.
~ Author Unknown

This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..
~Authour Unknown