Choosing Your Pet Rock


Some people are not equipped to care for pets, such as people who travel a lot for work, irresponsible children, and people who can't take care of themselves. There is an alternative. We've all seen them, lined up on a table at the county fair waiting to be adopted, painted with goofy expressions. You know what I'm talking about: The pet rock.

How does one go about capturing the illusive pet rock? Start along side of a river. The best pet rocks live right next to the edge of the river where the water is calm, and the sand disappears. Take a bucket with you, because they don't like to be caught and shoved into pockets. You may have to catch a few before you find your new perfect pet.

After you have your new pet in the bucket, transport it home and let it dry. At this point, you have to decide weather or not you want to put it in a rock tumbler. If you plan on painting your pet rock, a tumbler doesn't make any sense, but if your only decoration is going to be googley eyes, you might want to give your rock a beautiful shine.


Now it's time to wake up your rock. This can be done either with paint, or stick-on googley eyes and a glue gun. If you choose paint, make sure you have black and white for the eyes, and any other colors you want to use, depending on what you want your rock to wear. If you are gluing on eyes, make sure you don't burn yourself. An adult has to work the glue gun. If your rock is going to be an outside rock to guard your flowerbed from evil caterpillars, make sure you spray a really good clear seal all over it, or its new skin will fall off.

When your rock has been woken up, and you can see its features, you need to give it some space until the paint dries. Skipping this step will cause your pet rock to vomit bright colors all over you. Making your pet rock sick right off the bat is no way to take care of a pet.

Once your pet has dried, you can begin training it to sit. This can be done on almost any surface. Never throw your rock, especially not in water, at windows, or people's heads. Pet rocks are very strong, and can cause severe damage to people and things. Don't feed your pet rock, or it will get too fat and die. Pet rocks eat invisible food when you're not looking.

After you've trained your pet rock, you'll see just how rewarding they can be.

More by this Author

  • The Truth About Head Lice

    Head lice (Pediculus capitis) are highly contagious parasitic bugs that thrive on the scalp and neck hair of humans. Having lice doesn't mean a person lacks hygiene, as they are passed from head to head, or from sharing...

  • Five Rules For Dealing With Car Salesmen

    Five Things Sales People Don't Want You to Know Car salesmen and women are the pushiest sales people on the planet. How do I know? I used to train them. There was no way one of my people was getting off with a no, or...

  • Chilean Rose Tarantula

    One of the newest fads in pet ownership is giant fuzzy arachnids. These spiders are gaining popularity because of their exotic novelty. They are unique, easy to care for, the neighbors won't complain about them...

Comments 18 comments

nammy 8 years ago

You are an awesome writer! Have you thought about doing it professionally or maybe a childrens book?

Keep up the good work

radgirl profile image

radgirl 8 years ago from Somewhere in outer space Author

Thank you! I have thought about it...done something about it? Not so much.

Tonya 8 years ago

I Love Pet Rocks!!!

petrocksrule 8 years ago

dont forget to bond with your pet rocks! by the way, there are many articles on how to take care of pet rocks, but this is the best one so far! rock out!

withhelf 7 years ago

uh actually the manual for the REAL pet rocks that were sold in the 70's said you were SUPPOSED TO THROW THEM at people if they attacked you.

and they can be trained to roll over with a little help from the trainer

Kelly Lubberman 7 years ago

You go withhelf cause it does say u throw them at people and they can roll over with help by a trainer.XD

Sabrie 7 years ago

I have a pet rock named valentine i am trying to make a good blog but im no good but i loved your blog !!!

radgirl profile image

radgirl 7 years ago from Somewhere in outer space Author

Thanks for reading Sabrie!

Janna 7 years ago

How do you give a pet rock a bath? My pet rock's eyes are made of paper, so I need a safe way to clean him. I've been using a towel, but it hasn't been very efficient...

Gia 6 years ago

this is awesome! I have 2 pet rocks named Wally and tiana.

you are a really good writer and you know so much about pet rocks!

lps mad girl 6 years ago

i have a pet rock called dilan he is so cute but a lil bit thik

angelina 6 years ago

wally is a good name but are pet rocks real

angelina 6 years ago

where can you buy goooley eyes and were canyou get one!

angelina 6 years ago

buy a pet rock they will be your freind forever and you can tell sacry stories and every thing.

madi 6 years ago

i have a pet rock named buddy, he eats kibble, sleeps in a bed next to me. i alson made him treets and a leash maybe ill make him a collar. we go to rockania park, and thats where i found him. we love to watch scary moovies because he is very brave with those kinda things and for halloween hes gonna be a mnm or a skittle.

every morning i take him outside to drink the morning dew and where i live the dew sometimes stays till afternoon, hes beautiful and he has paint marker green eyes. i llllloooovvvveee him

Chi 6 years ago

Janna, an idea is:

Grab a shallow bowl, fill it with luke warm water. Put some shower gel on a wet sponge. Rub around the rock, be sure to cover the rocks head with your hand, and perhaps put goggles on them so they can enjoy seeing under water. Make bath time fun and let them soak for a while. Continuosly clean them for 2-6 minutes, then proceed to take them out and dry them with a towel or hairdryer. The sun might be ok too.

Angel 6 years ago

Oh I wish I had a pet rock, I will go out and find the perfect rock soon!

Yoyoy 4 years ago

Thx! Your a gr8 writer. I have a pet rock bullseye. He's soooo cute! Life for him is sweet. We go everywhere together. Intact he's watching me type tis now!^3^

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    radgirl profile image

    radgirl82 Followers
    80 Articles

    Sunshine is a wife, mother of four, a relationship expert, a journalist, a photographer, a public speaker, and author.

    Click to Rate This Article