Monkey Mayhem
a little monkey business
Monkey See, Monkey Do
The day began like any ordinary day, lights on at 5am as the keeper shuffled in. His low whistle and mumbling to himself was something our little band of primates were accustomed to. We remained quite the curious group, as is the nature of almost humans, as one by one we clamor over to the door eager to see what treats may be among the usual fodder. He shoos us away with the flip of his hand, “Get back silly monkeys, nothing special for you today.” The carrots and fruit slices tumble out of the feed box this way and that, several finding their way underfoot. As always the scramble was fierce for the best offerings and today was no different. Shrieks and squeals and minor arguments erupt regarding ownership of soon to be consumed food. The keeper resumes his duties of sweeping and cleaning with broom and garden hose, the same five note song emitting over and over from his lips as the squabbles are soon resolved and the morning meal consumed. Still ten pair of eyes and the same number of limbs watch and mimic the keeper as if they are his shadow. Everyday it’s the same and everyday they never tire of this game. The keeper gives them no credit for intelligence, just silly little monkeys, like kindergardners playing follow the leader he assumes. He’s had too many years and too many days of deja vu to think otherwise. But monkeys are a clever bunch, and they’ve been making a plan. Talking in gestures and whispered monkey talk it came together one night. A diversion is at hand, a scheme cooked up, two at the door, three swinging on the trapeze, whatever it took to achieve the goal, win the prize. Nighttime dry runs tuned to a fine science. ………………… The keeper turns his back for one split second and the caper is on………. They scream like banshees, causing confusion everywhere, monkey arms and legs running in every direction until the keeper is on the floor, stunned but unhurt……… suddenly devoid of his most prized possession…… his glasses. Fast forward…… the keeper has been rescued, the monkey mayhem calmed, but no one sees the leader of the pack put the treasured glasses on and say to his monkey mate….. “Honey, do these glasses make me look fat?”