Thoughts of Veterinarians Revealed

What is a veterinary physician, colloquially called a vet? The term vet is shortened from veterinarian (American English, Australian English) or veterinary surgeon (British English), is a professional who practices veterinary medicine by treating disease, disorder, and injury in animals.

Simple enough. I know that you are thinking right about now, "Man, how I wish that I were a vet." Really? Well, I cannot point a finger for I have had similar thoughts about how easy a vet has it during a typical work week.

But then a good friend of mine said one thing that made me change my mind on a dime. She said that vet's have a tougher job than a G.P. (General Practitioner) doctor for a vet's patients cannot tell him or her in words what is hurting and how they are feeling like human patients do.

Yep. That did it. The "icing on the cake" was watching "The Incredible Dr. Pol," on Discovery and what lengths this vet will go to in order to save one animal.

Please allow me to make an understatement. Vets have it tough, but they sure enough, must love their patients to such a depth that they will stay up all night or several nights to see a sick horse pull through. To me, that is a special kind of love that only a vet can know.

intrigues me is while the vet goes about his daily routine of making barn calls to see what is ailing "Millie," the Jersey cow who is feeling poorly or traveling many miles to see about "Mack," the hound dog for he has not eaten in days. Just what do our heroes the vets think about all day?

This is, my dear followers, a legitimate question. I would love to hear their thoughts that is if I were endowed with the magical powers to be able to listen to what runs through their minds as they work on their animal patients.

The following just might be a collection of what is on veternarian's minds each working day

• "I just hope that this cow does not become a diva and kick me square in my privates."

• "Does this farmer not believe in insecticide--these flies are killing me."

• "Why the flatulence? Just what did "Henry," the plow horse have for lunch, two dozen boiled eggs?"

• "Will this farmer guy try to pay me with chickens? I have a truck payment coming up."

• "I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom loves my older brother, "Billy," the orthopedic surgeon and our youngest sister, "Jazelle," the one with a Ph.D in psychiatry and there I am . . .a veternarian. Man, am I out of place."

• "Hold still. That's it. Ahhh, there it is a hammer. How did this turkey swallow this hammer?"

• "I can't wait until my vacation. And this year, absolutely no petting zoos grandchildren or not."

• "Why is this chimpanzee keep staring at me like I am his date for the prom?"

• "Oh, I am to put my entire arm down the throat of this circus elephant? Why?"

• "This burns me up. 'Harold Swindle,' the richest man in town, calls me out at 2 a.m. to take look at his Collie who swallowed a tennis shoe--I've worked with this dog for now going on nine hours and thus 'Swindle' character hands me a five dollar bill and says 'keep the change."

• "I wonder if Discovery Channel will put me on the air as I go about my day checking animals? I had best present my best side in case they roll up with their cameras."

• "It's days like this when I've seen five cats, two dogs, and one baby gorilla and every stinking one of them had diarrhea!"

• "Next year I am going to do it. I am going after my Masters Degree for being an English teacher."

• "What is my wife thinking--packing me a sardine sandwich with white onion!"

• "This woman 'Mrs. Plumb,' comes in with her pet turtle who she says is sick and now the stupid creature won't show his face out of that shell!"

• "It's days like this when I know that I should have went to school to become a janitor."

• "That lynx 'Mr. Handley' brought in didn't like me one bit. Blame beast bit me then scratched me and the scratches are not healing. Oh, no! Rabies!"

• "My blind date ended last night rather abruptly for my date, 'Clarice Johnson' started in telling nothing but elephant jokes. Some people have no thought for others."

• "A man walks into a bar with a pig underneath his arm. The bartender asks, "what are you doing with that pig? None of your business, replied the angry man. I was talking to the pig, sir!" the bartender quipped. I like to think of this joke when I am helping a blood hound deliver her ten pups."

• "That Incredible Dr. Pol," has surely got it made. Gets a huge check from Discovery Channel to let them film his veterinarian adventures while he grins with those huge teeth. Why not me?"

• "I dread my high school reunion that's coming up in a month. Me, a veterinarian mixed in with all those Harvard types, Nobel Peace Prize winners, newspaper publishers, medical scientists and when I try to talk to them all they want to hear from me is animal stories."

• "I sure got one past that cute blond in the 7-11 store last night. I had been called out to tend to a farmer's cow who was to deliver her calf and I wanted a cup of coffee on the way home. So this cute blond took my money and ask what I had been doing? Been working on a cow, I answered. I thought that she would faint from laughing so hard."

• "One time a neighbor kid's ball went into the sewer next to my house and he told me to get him out. I told him that I was not the police and he got all up in my business and said that I had a badge sign on the door of my truck and I had to spend the rest of that evening explaining to him that I treat sick animals. Not get balls out of sewers."

And to close, I want to offer all of our dedicated veterinarians a sincere salute for the long hours that they work, their devotion to their work and how much we appreciate them."

Good night, Cedar Town, Georgia.