She was an outdoor cat

She was an outdoor cat and frequently came up onto my back porch to lie in the sun. I didn't feed her, but neither did I shoo her away. I love animals and there were many in the neighborhood. But I knew if I fed them, they would start hanging around and bring all their buddies to check out the new kitty restaurant at the bed and breakfast.

One day I noticed that she was gaining weight, which assuaged my guilt feelings about not feeding her, since apparently someone was. But, as the days went by, it was evident that she had gone and gotten herslf pregnant.

A few weeks later, I was in the kitchen making breakfast and needed a handful of Dill for my quiche. I went outside to get some from my back porch where I grow herbs in the summertime. I had furnished the porch with dark green garden tables and chairs, and a nice chaise lounge with a comfy green and white cushion. It sat in the corner near a large pot of purple-wave petunias and red geraniums

The sun was so bright that morning, at first I didn't notice the four Little balls of fluff snuggled together on my chaise lounge. Mommy cat was no where to be seen. Had she brought me a present...... one she couldn't take care of herself? I stood there dumbfounded for a minute. What was I going to do?

My first inclination was to take them to the Humane society. But she had brought them here because she thought it was a safe haven. Guilt flooded my entire being. Will they euthanize them? What will become of them?Their little beady eyes were looking up at me and their tiny noses and ears twitched in the sunlight. Oh my God! What should I do? I just can't keep them.

My housekeeper (another animal lover) was there that day. I went inside to get her and when we came back outside, mommy cat was there. Would she let us take them away? I still felt guilty, so I went inside to call the Humane Society to ask them what they would do to the four little kittens. They assured me they would not euthanize them. They would be spayed, de-wormed, given their shots, and put up for adoption. I felt a lot better.

Ashly said she would take one of the kittens home with her and help me get the other three into a box and to the humane society. Mommy cat disappeared again so we decided to do it before she got back. Again, the guilt of doing this behind her back started gnawing at me. To come back and find your offspring gone was a terrible thought to me.

We put the kittens in a very large box. They were all crying and one of them, being an outdoor cat and very feisty, was fighting for his life.... scratching and trying to get away. He continued all the way to the agency. Although the experience was softened somewhat by the friendly animal caretakers at the agency, the whole scene was heart wrenching and made an indelible impression on me. One I still play over in mind 'til this day.

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