101 Signs That You Might Be Addicted To Steampunk
1. You buy clocks just for the gears.
2. You think of monocles and goggles as fashion accessories.
3. You baffle people by talking about Aether and Phlogiston.
4. You dream of having your own airship
5. You have more diodes, dials and tubes than an electronics repair shop.
6. You have more brass tubes and copper fittings than a plumbing supply shop.
7. You scour thrift stores, flea markets and swap meets for parts to complete your newest creations.
8. You’re always looking for creative ways to automate your daily tasks (or augment them with steam power!)
9. You have a collection of fancy top hats
10. Your pets have steampunk outfits
11. Even your cellphone looks like its from another era.
12. You encourage all your friends to call you “sir” or “madam.”
13. You put goggle-wearing pirate skulls on everything you own.
14. Your birthday cakes all feature frosted gears.
15. You refer to your garage as “the airship hangar.”
16. You spend more time in a leather apron than you do out of it.
17. You get a little weepy when you see genuine 1800's antiques for sale.
18. You regularly point at random objects and sculptures, saying “how very steampunk!”
19. Your entire family (even your dog) knows enough about steampunk to get your references and agree (or argue) with you about them.
20. You’re learning blacksmithing.
21. You’re building your own time machine.
22. You whistle “Airship Pirate” when you go to work.
23. You’ve inlaid your steering wheel with ivory.
24. You own more cameos than any factory in Italy.
25. You’ve considered taking some jobs just because they’re more “industrial.”
26. Your sense of fashion looks like something others would be forced to wear on the job site.
27. Your home is gas lit.
28. You get angry when people mix up steampunk with fantasy (or science fiction!)
29. You have plans to convert your car to steam power.
30. You tend to wear a lot of brown.
31. You painstakingly detail everything you own to Victorian standards.
32. You’ve read everything by Jules Verne and H.G. Wells.
33. You dream of a clockwork wedding.
34. Your favorite time is tea time.
35. Every ball is an Edwardian ball.
36. Your bedroom looks like a boiler room.
37. Your closet is stocked with more historic military uniforms than regular clothes.
38. You have heated debates with your friends about whether or not Wild Wild West should be acknowledged as part of the steampunk genre.
39. You own more medals than any war hero.
40. All of your favorite bands are on Sepiachord.
41. You spend more money on Ebay and Etsy than you do on food.
42. You’ve driven (or flown) to a Steam Con in another state.
43. You bought Rise of Legends just to play around with the Vinci.
44. To sleep at night, you count zeppelins.
45. You bring your leather aviator cap and goggles on airline flights (and wear them during the flight.)
46. You plan on acquiring your own Besler Steam Plane someday.
47. You always carry your pocketwatch.
48. You dream about the “mysteries of the orient”
49. You bought a telescope to look for Martians (and Venusian dinosaurs!)
50. You’re taking biology courses in the hopes that one day you will be able to genetically engineer lift-wood.
51. You still obsess over the tragedy of the Hindenberg.
52. Your friends describe you as “rustic.”
53. You think “Steam Trek” is a better remake than anything J.J. Abrams could pull off.
54. You’ve built your own Tesla Coil
55. You’ve sneered at others for their “attempts” to be steampunk
56. You’ve drawn up designs for your own steam-powered mecha
57. You’ve taken out stock in Nerf guns and bronze spray paint.
58. You’ve started writing letters by hand again. (with a quill pen)
59. You’ve grown a handlebar mustache (even if you’re female.)
60. You’ve become immersed in related genres like Clockpunk, Timepunk, Aetherpunk and Dieselpunk.
61. You describe yourself as a “dapper chap” or an “elegant lady.”
62. You’ve invested in gear-print bedsheets
63. You dine on only the finest (antique) china.
64. You have paintings of Abraham Lincoln (with a chaingun arm) in your bedroom.
65. You’ve started picking up classic literature for the first time in your life (and only to look for things that are “steampunk.”)
66. The first thing you think when you see something new is “can I steampunk it?” Ask yourself that question and then visit my sponsors. . . who knows what you’ll come up with! (The money for your visit goes toward a good (and thoroughly steampunk) cause!
67. You never go out without your ray gun.
68. You’re working on your own silent movie.
69. You’ve converted your computer to babbage-style mechanics.
70. You’ve replaced all your keyboard keys with typewriter keys.
71. Even the radio in your car looks old fashioned.
72. If it’s not DIY, it’s not worth your time.
73. Euphemisms like “A cowboy on an iron horse” have a totally different meaning to you now.
74. You teach classes on how to be more steampunk.
75. You know that there’s always room for more steampunkiness.
76. You’ve created your own sub-variation of steampunk (and others have embraced it!)
77. You know all about K.W. Jeter and the birth of steampunk.
78. You own more corsets than a Ren-Faire enthusiast.
79. You sometimes forget what century you live in.
80. You’ve purchased a riveter just for use in fashion.
81. Your garage (and/or closet) looks like a nightmare out of the industrial revolution.
82. You’re trying to reinvent the lightbulb.
83. It seems like you’re always polishing wooden inlays
84. You have a steampunk tattoo (or several)
85. Your phones, PDAs, laptops and other electronics all have steampunk skins.
86. You’ve written steampunk fiction.
87. You’ve criticized the steampunk fiction of others for not being steampunk enough.
88. Your guiltiest pleasure is buying trendy steampunk-themed items (that you would otherwise denounce outright.)
89. You take design tips from Leonardo da Vinci.
90. You’ve read every book on Steampunk.com.
91. You see Jake von Slatt as a prophet and a visionary.
92. Even when you’re not dressed to steam, you’re still studded with steampunk jewelry.
93. You doodle gears and pipe networks when you’re on the phone.
94. Your business card includes the title “steampunker.”
95. You’ve taken up steam distillation just because it has “steam” in the title.
96. You’ve sponsored (or held) a steampunk event.
97. You go from door to door asking people if they’ve heard about “the miracle of steampunk.”
98. You believe that the only real pirate ships are the flying ones.
99. You’ve laughed at the steampunk pictures on Regretsy.
100. All of your holiday decorations are steampunk themed.
101. You’ve written a steampunk-related list as exhaustive as this.
More by this Author
Looking for the perfect trap, puzzle or challenge to keep your players on their toes and add a little spice to your RPG campaign or dungeon crawl? Well here are 101 awesome ideas you can grab, modify, reuse, or...
In all, it’s a magnificent piece, one that, while short, conveys some very important solutions for social problems that even members of modern society have difficulty dealing with. Cahan skillfully communicates...
Whether you're married, single or just looking for a laugh, this "big list of the benefits of bachelorism" is definitely for you! Check out 101 reasons to stay single and see why you should be staying single!
No comments yet.