8 Tips on Being a Bad Driver

I have had some serious problems with road rage. I get really angry at other drivers all the time.

So, with that in mind, I decided to give advice on how to be a bad driver. I'm hoping that most people will ignore this advice, like they ignore most advice.

I have to admit though, sometimes I do find myself engaging in some of these "bad habits" but whenever I realize it I always stop and change my ways. I also like to give the meek little "I'm sorry" wave (They should make "I'm sorry" flags, so that other drivers don't confuse my wave with me giving them the finger).

Enjoy the list!

1. Stop using turn signals - I think most people are already following this bit of advice. Using the turn signal is extremely helpful to other drivers and pedestrians, so this action must be stopped immediately. I get so mad when I am waiting on a car before I cross a street only to see it turn right before it gets to me. It is also irritating when someone in front of you slows to turn without signaling and when someone tries to change lanes with out signaling. And really people, how hard is it to flip your wrist down to flick this little switch? How much effort does it really take? It doesn't take any effort, but why bother?

2. Be afraid to drive the speed limit - I generally run into this on a freeway, where the speed limit is 55 or over. There are always a few people who want to drive 40 mph or less. The rest of us should join them. We don't really want to get anywhere anyway. The truth is that these people are dangerous (studies have even shown that slow drivers tend to cause more accidents than fast drivers). So if you are afraid to drive on the highway, don't do it. Take side streets. If you insist on driving on the freeway, at least drive the speed limit.

3. Drive slow in the fast lane - This is probably the number one way to be a bad driver. It is very similar to number 2 above, but it is more for those drivers who drive just under the speed limit, so they can be on the freeway, but they chose to do so in the far left lane (the fast lane). This drives me really crazy when I am driving on a 2-lane highway and everyone wants to drive just under the speed limit in the left hand lane. They prevent anyone who wants to drive just a little faster from being able to use the left lane for passing (because obviously the passing lane is just for driving, not for passing). So if you want to drive slow on the freeway, don't use the left lanes.

4. Speed up when someone tries to pass you - Imagine you are driving on a 2 lane highway in the right hand lane. You come up to another vehicle, so you move over to the left lane in order to pass. However, a soon as you do so, the vehicle that you just caught up with begins to speed up. You go a little faster to try to get around, but he matches your speed, even goes a little bit faster. You don't want to go that fast, so you move back in behind him only to have him slow back down to his original speed. This is a really fun game to play when driving. I call it "How fast can we piss off the guy behind us?" Serously though, why do people do this? Is there some weird urge to be first? This behavior just makes no sense, so if you are doing it, please just stop. Let people pass you!

5. Be afraid to pass trucks - If you drive on a highway, chances are you will encounter a truck. The fit in the lanes just like cars do, so there really is no reason to be afraid to pass them, but they are obviously scary monsters so we need to stay in the opposite lane just a little bit behind them. I see this over and over again. It happens even in the 6-lane freeways of Los Angeles, but it is more annoying on 2 lane highways. At least you can get around the fraidy-cat on a 6 lane highway. But on a 2 lane road, they move over to the left lane, and stay just far enough behind the truck so that nobody can get between them, but they never pass. They just want to drive in that spot for 10 miles because they are too nervous to pass the truck. Ok, so if you are too afraid to pass the truck, stay in the right hand lane! Don't block everyone else from being able to pass.

6. Tailgate - This can be another fun game. We can see how close we can get to the car in front without hitting it! Loser gets raised insurance rates!! I think that this habit is what causes more accidents than anything else. People have to understand that they don't have master reflexes, and if you are driving too close to someone, you will hit them if they slam on their brakes. This can easily be avoided if you keep a safe following distance.

7. Switch lanes without looking - Obviously, the directionals create a magic force field, so that using them will make any car that was next to you magically disappear. This means that we can change lanes without even looking, and never have to worry about getting into an accident. I've seen so many near misses because people aren't looking before they change lanes that I can't even count them anymore. The other thing that people don't pay attention to when changing lanes is vehicles behind them. I hate it when I am driving the speed limit, and some slow driver in the other lane moves over completely oblivious to the fact that I just had to slam on my brakes or swerve to avoid hitting him. If you want to change lanes, check your rear-view mirror to ensure someone isn't quickly approaching. It takes 5 seconds.

8. Don't know where you are going - Don't get directions before you leave. Don't know where your exit is. Attempt to cross 6 lanes of traffic in less than a quarter mile. Everyone should understand and move for you. Its ok. It's also fun to turn from the wrong lane, or slam on your brakes to turn. If people paid attention to where they were going this wouldn't happen. They would know that they need to be in the right hand lane to turn in a quarter mile. They would know that their exit is coming up, so they shouldn't still be in the far left lane of a 6 lane freeway. This stuff is just too easy. Know where you are going, and pay attention while you are driving.

Let me know if you have any other tips on how to be a bad driver!