Ryan Deiss Is My New Best Friend

Welcom to Ryan Deiss

There's this guy, Ryan Deiss. Actually, he may be a guy. He may be nothing more than an Internet persona representing a cabal of marketers loosely linked in a shadowy online structure of proxy servers and anonymous Clickbank accounts. I prefer to imagine Ryan as a well-groomed fellow casually standing in front of a very large mansion next to an extremely expensive automobile with his arm around a supermodel.

Ryan cares deeply about me. I may not be the only object of his affection, but in my world it's just him and me. Virtually every day Ryan sends me an earnest email teasing his latest Internet Money Making strategies. All I have to do is click on a link to learn the latest in traffic driving, affiliate marketing, and standing next to expensive cars with supermodels.

Ryan Contacts Me Daily

Every day I wake up to the promise of another email from Ryan. He rarely disappoints. Only infrequently does my InBox contain no message from Ryan Deiss. On those days, I somehow manage to muddle through my mundane life. I'm certain that Ryan was too busy standing next to his expensive luxury automobile to compose another email. He probably needed both hands to hold on to his supermodel, hence his typing ability was compromised.

Ryan Knows How To Write a Hook

A hook is a brief phrase designed to grab the attention of the reader. Strategic emails always include a stellar hook in the subject field. An email without a hook is like a Democrat without a special interest group: there's simply no purpose to it.

Ryan's hooks rate. They rock. His words grab me by the throat and coerce me into opening the body of his email. Regardless of how busy I might be, I cannot resist investing 15 seconds in his messages. The guy simply has mad skillz at writing email subject hooks. He may not be good at anything else, but he knows how to turn a phrase.

Here are a few hooks that Ryan has recently bestowed upon me:

  • How to Legally "Tap" Gmail Accounts
  • Done For You Membership Sites?
  • Congratulations Kate Buck on FOX News!
  • Missed You On The Call Today...
  • [WEBINAR] 6K Optins - Are you insane?
  • "Wicked Schmaat!"
  • FW: Name Frank Kern's Book?
  • 22,982 Jobs Available (Make Money This Week)
  • 5-second Texting Shortcut? (you already do this)
  • no market, no product, no website...
  • Make $300 in 5 Minutes
  • IMPORTANT: The wait is OVER! Explode your sales (NOW)...
  • FW: a 19 yr. old made this?
  • Mobile + Local = Paycheck
  • PROOF!
  • Watch this YouTube video
  • You, a Social Media Manager?

Wow. I'm exhausted from reading this list. Obviously Ryan has my best interests at heart. He wants me to succeed, usually in only 5 to 30 minutes.

Ryan Diess sends me reading material on a daily basis.
Ryan Diess sends me reading material on a daily basis.

Ryan Likes His Videos

Almost every email contains a link to a video. Ryan might need to brush up on his multimedia production techniques, or hire an intern who can use video editing software. His videos usually consist of plain text on a white background. The audio precisely matches the text: Ryan is reading the words to me. This work would not make Spielberg proud.

Every video includes a new and revolutionary and Incredibly Easy technique for extracting massive wealth from the Internet. Apparently the web is flush with cash and it's a simple matter to make it spill onto me. All I must do is watch a free video: secrets are revealed that way.

Ryan has a never-ending array of Internet Money-Making Strategies That Work While You Sleep.
Ryan has a never-ending array of Internet Money-Making Strategies That Work While You Sleep.
Ryan's links are always cloaked. If you hover over the text, the actual link appears. I'm sure there's a perfectly good Internet Money Making reason to do it this way.
Ryan's links are always cloaked. If you hover over the text, the actual link appears. I'm sure there's a perfectly good Internet Money Making reason to do it this way.
Ryan rolls out his video production skillz.
Ryan rolls out his video production skillz.

How Does Ryan Make Money?

I don't know how Ryan makes his money. He's always giving me free emails, free tips, free videos, and free plans. If he's found a way to get paid by sending out emails, he truly is a genius.

He never asks me for money. Perhaps he lives off the residuals of his videos, but probably not. I've seen YouTube clips made by 8 year-olds with better production value. I wonder if his supermodel has a trust fund: that would be disappointing.

Have You Worked With Ryan?

If you've invested in Ryan's strategies, let us know. We'd like to hear your stories of wealth and redemption. Tell us about your climb from mediocrity to crazy cash. Describe your journey  from the depths of 8-hour workdays to standing next to an imported luxury vehicle with 22" wheels and a supermodel.

Did you get rich quick? We want to know!

More by this Author

  • The Importance of Doing Laundry
    19

    We could nag, but this is better. It is less work for us to use the words of others to emphasize the importance of doing laundry. Besides, if you saw the way we dressed, you'd laugh your mouse off.

  • EDITOR'S CHOICE
    Data Hiding in Java
    12

    Data Hiding is an aspect of Object Oriented Programming (OOP) that allows developers to protect private data and hide implementation details. In this tutorial we examine basic data hiding techniques in Java.

  • EDITOR'S CHOICE
    Introduction to Windows Notepad
    5

    A useful text editor is an essential component of any personal computer. Every day we need to make notes, compose documents, and record vital pieces of information. We depend on our text editor. Microsoft provided...


Comments 4 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

You're so lucky, nicomp, to have a guy like Ryan so deeply interested in your welfare. I'm almost positive that one of his upcoming emails will share all the details of getting rich really quick for just a very small down payment. Look for it soon.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

Of course he makes money - the secret is....firstly, to have a secret - don't you want to know what that is? Of course you do ... well here it comes: You make money by getting suckers to part with their money. How do you do that? By promising they will make money - everyone's making money telling everyone they will make money - around and around we go - it's so inventive - don't you just love it Nicomp? I do (oh really) It's like what they used to call a broken record (now CD, I suppose) - people used to throw them away because they would repeat over and over, the same thing over and over - they were considered to be annoying rather than music but not anymore! Make money online is like a broken record. You hear about it on the net over and over and now people like Ryan Deiss come along and start repeating the broken record over and over not realizing they are supposed to throw it away! Really weird attitude when you think about it!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

I guess since Stan has taken a vacation, you do need a new best friend. We could pick from thousands of email friends. I like the ones with the strange names and they call me "dear". Mogo Ibi sent me one today!


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

ha ha ha, an e-mail without a hook is like a democrat without a interest group, very funny. So do you ever take Ryan's advise?

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working