The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

Jeff Bezos

The Mysterious Midget of Amazon.com

Everyone knows that in 1994 Jeff Bezos created the Company Amazon.com and launched the company on the internet in 1995, it was 10 years before Amazon actually started to make a profit, and everyone puts this down to the marketing skills of the before mentioned Jeff Bezos, he was even voted person of the year in 1999 by Time Magazine.

Sheer hard work, marketing skills and persistence are said to be the secret of Jeff's success, especially after the Internet bubble burst in the late 1990's,

But Jeff is hiding an even greater secret that is the true key to the Amazon.com success story.

When the dot com bubble burst, Jeff's life was turned upside down, everything that he had worked so hard to achieve was almost in ruins everything he touched would crumble like sand and run through his fingers.

The Mysterious Midget

sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.
sorry there is no camera fast enough to catch an image of the mysterious midget, he moves faster than a blink of the eye.

The true secret of Jeff's Success

One January Morning in 1994, Jeff wandered down to the basement of his office building in Seattle, Washington, to get a moment of escape from the torture of his daily life, whilst there he thought he saw a figure sitting in the darkened corner watching him, he look again but there was nothing to see, it totally freaked him out, and he went down every day at the same time, just to see if the figure returned, on the fifth day he saw the sitting figure again. this time though the figure did not go away and Jeff slowly and fearfully approached the sitting figure, as he got closer, he realised that the mysterious figure was actually a small man not sitting but standing as tall as his 2 ft 3 inches allowed him, just as Jeff was about to ask him what he was doing here the midget spoke "Jeff I am here to help you" he said.

The Midgets Story

The midget gave Jeff a long spiel about how he had fled from the Amazon jungle five years before, where he had been a powerful medicine man and failed to save the Chief's life when he fell ill. He explained that after the chief died, the tribe wanted to kill him as revenge for not saving their leader.

After detailing his journey how he came to be in America and how he got to be in Seattle, he told Jeff that he saw the Amazon logo on this building and took it as a sign that he was to live there, and that he had been there for five years living in the shadows.

He went on to tell Jeff that since his arrival he had read every single book that had come in to the building in those five years and that he had gained the knowledge from every book that he had read. He then told Jeff to come down to the basement again at midnight, when the moon was full and blue in colour and wearing a purple hat with a red feather protruding from it.

At that the midget disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Blue Moon

Full Blue Moon Wearing a Purple Hat With a Protruding Red Feather

Strangely enough that very same night, the full moon was blue and the small cloud formation above the moon did resemble a purple hat with a protruding red feather.

Jeff headed to the basement, and met up with the Mysterious Midget, the midget then informed Jeff that he was going to give him the knowledge, he had learned in the last five years and that this knowledge would be the key to the future success of Amazon.com.

There was a blinding flash of red light and the pain in Jeffs Head was so severe that he passed out.

When he awoke the Midget was still there, he then told Jeff that whenever he needed help, he would always be there in the shadows for him that he would continue to read and gain knowledge and as he gained in knowledge, from this day, Jeff would also gain the knowledge through him.

In the year 2004 after his first encounter with the midget, Amazon posted its first profitable year and that profit has grown and grown every year since then

If you ever see Jeff in the street or in the store or anywhere at all, try not to blink and you may see the mysterious midget by his side.

The Midget Widget

It is said that you can download your own midget widget from Amazon.com, but only at midnight when there is a full blue moon wearing a purple hat with a protruding red feather, so keep an eye on the night sky it just may be the night your life changes forever.

Jeff Bezos was holding the midget but once again the camera is too slow

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Comments 40 comments

Marisa Wright profile image

Marisa Wright 8 years ago from Sydney

Sorry I can't write a coherent comment - too busy laughing!


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 8 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Jimmy! If anyone could see me they would prepare the padded room. I'm sitting here by myself laughing my fool head off.

There many hubs here that are great but everyonce in a while there comes a gem....regards Zsuzsy


darkside profile image

darkside 8 years ago from Australia

I've been giggling like an idiot reading this.


Marye Audet profile image

Marye Audet 8 years ago from Lancaster, Texas

This needs a tea spew alert posted at the top.


Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

You are waaaaay toooo silly.


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 8 years ago from Bend, Oregon

I am hysterically laughing. LOL and ROFL do not begin to describe.....


kpfingaz profile image

kpfingaz 8 years ago from ~~~

Hahaha.Yeah man this is really funny.


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 8 years ago from Chennai

Why do you guys laugh? This is serious business, and I'm going to ask them for one!

Midget route to Giant Success!

Thanks for that poem in the forums and this hub, Jimmy!


IĆ°unn 8 years ago

hahaha, too funny jimmy. amazon midgets are the new iambic pentameter. :)


bloggerdollar profile image

bloggerdollar 8 years ago

This Hub is total scam. How to upload the Amazon Midget still not explained :)


chabrenas profile image

chabrenas 8 years ago from middle of France

Bloody brilliant!


Prosperityman profile image

Prosperityman 8 years ago from mayaguez, Puerto Rico

Ja,ja,ja muy entretenido! Te felicito.


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland Author

thanks guys for your great comments, lol when i saw the forum thread, There was no way that i could pass up the oppertunity to write a hub based on the infamous Midget.......jimmy


Inspirepub profile image

Inspirepub 8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

This is so creative! I love the photo caption!

Jenny


robie2 profile image

robie2 8 years ago from Central New Jersey

Can't wait for the next full moon--rotfl !!


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

Bva-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Thanks Jimmy!


Hovalis profile image

Hovalis 8 years ago from Australia

Hee! I needed that laugn. :-)


Mystic Biscuit profile image

Mystic Biscuit 8 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

Too fun!!! :-)


LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

LdsNana-AskMormon 8 years ago from Southern California

Jimmy-

I adore a witty mind!

tDMg

LdsNana-AskMormon


websurfpro profile image

websurfpro 8 years ago

Hehe I`ll be looking forward to find that midget on Amazon :D has Jeff ever told this story or did you make it up ? Nice hub


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 8 years ago from North America

Great discussion thread and wonderful hub.

I must say that a friend lived in an old house and saw a short man wearing a purple hat with a red feather, walking through the rooms and then the walls for 3 years until she moved elsewhere. She said he was a friendly spirit. :)


tagtopics 8 years ago

I just hope amazon are reading this - midgets : buy one get one free!


Rudra profile image

Rudra 8 years ago

Looks like publicity stunts for them. Is it working?


Garry Nelson profile image

Garry Nelson 8 years ago from Hawaii

Funny


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland Author

thanks everyone, i still get a laugh when i read this one.....jimmy


jamestedmondson profile image

jamestedmondson 8 years ago from San Francisco

Dang, that's a fast midget.

I had a similar experience, but the midget just told me to quit my job and start doing drugs.


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

you are a loony, ya know that? I love your sense of humor, and so would Bezos, I'm willing to bet.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 7 years ago from The Land of Tractors

Oh, I don't have a sense of humor, but that one almost cracked my shell.

:) That was very funny.


Dale Mazurek profile image

Dale Mazurek 6 years ago from Canada

Funny as funny can be.

A writer with a great sense of humor, does it really get any better?

Your hub was reccommended for my blog and Im glad it was. It is now up on the blog.

You can find the link to the blog on my profile page

Cheers

Dale


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 6 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks Dale for your comment and of course for the back link, I loved writing this hub and I was laughing as I wrote it, I am honoured to be mentioned in your blog.

thanks again.....jimmy


Jai Warren profile image

Jai Warren 6 years ago from Dallas, Deep Ellum, Texas

Hi Jimmy, I'm the midget from Seattle, loved your Hub about Jeff and me. Joined HubPages to share my knowledge with everyone, not just Jeff. But, darn it, I still can't seem to sell anything on Amazon. Any tips?


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 6 years ago from Scotland Author

LOL Jai, i dont know which is funnier your comment or my hub, the best tip that I can give you for selling on amazon through your hubs are to hand pick the products from the amazon website that are relevant to your article, hope that helps.....jimmy


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

I have been pointed in your direction by one of your admirers (Zsuzsy) and I am now a confirmed fan.. :-)


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

I love this story - absolutely hysterical!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Are you sure the midget's name wasn't Rumplestiltskins? You sure spun a golden yarn here! Voted up and funny! And shared!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

You've quite an imagination there, Jimmy, to gain inspiration for a humorous short story from a spelling mistake or typo....

Jeff Bezos will probably incorporate your story into his bio, now! It's a more interesting slant than just working hard, being persistent and having marketing skills.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Hahahaha well done Jimmy!!! I'll be sure and download my midget widget at the correct moment!!:)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Jimmy, loved it! Wish I had a wee man living in my basement inspiring me to wealth beyond my wildest dreams :o)


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

I just love little men :)


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee

LOL! Love this story!

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    Sorry Jeff

    If You ever read this, please take it with the humor intended.

    This page was inspired by a spelling mistake in the hubpages forums

    http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/2567#post15726

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