How To Write An Evergreen Article For Hubpages

Big Numbers

As of 2012 there are 7,000,000,046 people in the world. That's 7 Billion with a big, fat capital B. Of these 7 billion people, there are 2,405,518,376 people who have access to the internet. Now, if every single one of those people were to visit your blog just once, you would become a millionaire! I think so anyhow. I'm not entirely sure how much money hubpages cuts you per page visit but I have to assume 2 1/2 billion visits would be worth a million dollars to them. By the way, big numbers are another good way to get people to take you seriously as big numbers can't be faked. I mean, they're just too big to be faked. It also looks like you did some research, which automatically makes you appear to be an authority on your subject.

An Impressive Graph

As you can see from this bar graph that I quickly whipped up using a free program on the internet, you stand to make a lot of money if you get a lot of page hits. Of course, this graph is purely speculative, but then again so is the stock market and people get rich from that every single day! Hubpages could be your stock market and your hubs could be your stocks. You just need to write the Microsoft of hubs so that it continues to give residuals for months and years to come. Incidentally, people are more likely to take your article seriously if you include impressive graphs as they make it appear like you know what you're talking about--even when you don't!

Another Capsule Subtitle

If you haven't noticed already, the general population has a very short attention span. A recent study that I read somewhere said that the average internet user will only wait 7 seconds on a website before clicking on that tiny X if they don't see what they're looking for. What this means is that people want everything to be easily digestible, they want their information easily found, and they don't want to have to read a lot to get that information. If you have a wall of text, it doesn't matter if it's the condensed works of Shakespeare, people's eyes will start to glaze over and they'll soon be leaving your page. If you must have textual walls, include pictures. It doesn't even matter what the picture is of so long as it breaks up the monotony of all your rambling words. Another piece of advice is to randomly bold words so that your readers will think they don't have to read the entire article, but merely the bolded words.

This picture of celebrity Justin Beiber will increase my page clicks by thousands. [Photo by Courtey Carmody / CC.]
This picture of celebrity Justin Beiber will increase my page clicks by thousands. [Photo by Courtey Carmody / CC.]

But What Should You Write About?!

Okay, okay, so I gave you some really good ways to manipulate your readership into thinking you know what you're talking about. And then I showed you how you could ensure that your readers continue slogging through your walls of text. But what exactly should you even write about in the first place?!

Well, as we mentioned earlier, there are 7 billion people in the world, 2 1/2 of them with internet access. What we need to do is figure out what type of article we could write that would be of interest to every single one of them and at any time of the year. So here are a few suggestions:

  • Celebrities. A lot of people care about celebrities and it doesn't even matter what you write because generally people who follow celebrities are very stupid. I would suggest writing about Justin Beiber though, because he is a double-threat in that both people who love him and hate him enjoy reading about him.
  • Cancer or some other disease. It helps if when discussing diseases that you also include some home remedy that has no chance of working. People love home remedies and the crazier they are the more people are willing to try them because people love false hope.
  • Oxygen. This one's tricky as there isn't much to be written on the subject. However, since everyone breathes if you can somehow write an article about the dangers of oxygen intoxication you're sure to get a lot of page hits.
  • Money. More specifically how to obtain said money. It could be a list of odd jobs, or a list of online employers, or even a bunch of hair-brained schemes doomed to failure. It really doesn't matter just as long as you promise they will 'get rich quick'.
  • Hubpages. This is a self-referential idea in that you can always just write a page about helping people write pages. I would suggest writing an article about writing evergreen articles.
  • Pictures. I don't mean writing about pictures, I mean include them. Just vomit a bunch of pictures onto a page and people will click simply because pictures are easier to digest than words.

Basically, your wealth and your health are two subjects that everyone everywhere, no matter how old or young has to deal with. With that in mind, try to parlay that into page clicks and ad revenue for yourself. So, with all these wonderful ideas as jumping off points, you should be ready to start your own hubpage and fill it will many, many evergreen hubs. And after you've done this all you have to do is sit back, relax, maybe move to Hawaii, and cash your residual checks every month.

No I didn't.
No I didn't.

Conclusion

I have nothing else to add but readers generally like conclusions so they can scroll past the rest of the article and just read this. Therefore, I would suggest including a conclusion that generally sums up the rest of your article. Oh, and it needs to be good because people will do what I just mentioned--scroll down to it--and if they like what they read they may just scroll back up and read the whole thing!

Remember: Writing about what you know is good. Writing about what people actually care about is better. If you have any comments or questions don't hesitate to write them below! I probably won't respond to them, but the more comments I get the more authority my article will seem to have.

Polls Are A Good Way To Get Page Views

Do you think polls are also another good way to get page views?

  • Yes, which is why this exists and you are just using it to get money.
  • No, but actually yes because this poll had to have two answers.
  • I'm still looking at that dreamy picture of Justin Beiber.
See results without voting

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