Arguing On Forums Is Silly

A few years ago I thought standing up for my opinion on a forum was very important, but over the years I have learned I do not care as much about it. Forums can be free-for-alls, and over time I have commented on this very rarely. If you are frustrated with a heated forum at the moment, just remember people feel really comfortable saying things online they would not say in person.

First off, why did I even bother going to a forum about a big giant lies tin foil hat types gravitate to: the conspiracy theory forum. I disagree with one poster's assertion about how Obama is a Muslim, but it was not even that which irritated me the most, it is how some people act very confrontational on the forum, and do not even let people explain themselves.

I always enjoy making intelligent contributions to the forum, but straight away some people decided to begin the junior high school drama of trying to degrade me, which has to do with me not being part of their popular little click. On the Internet I believe people need to act as adults, but I shall continue to do so myself. If they feel comfortable making personal attacks and starting drama, well then it says a lot about their need to make themselves feel superior. I enjoy writing about topics such as how the forum is not really conducive to discussion, so if this is not your cup of tea you might want to stop reading.

Yes many Muslims the world over wear revealing swim attire, but many Muslim women actually will not do this in mixed company. They even have segregated swimming areas in many Islamic countries for this reason, and in countries such as France some pools have begun to have all women swim hours to cater to the Muslim populations living there. I happen to have had friends that observe hijab, and they have shared with me proper Muslim men do not show anything from the navel to the knee, and proper Muslim women cover their hair, and do not wear shapely outfits in mixed company. These are not all Muslims, and of course countries such as Turkey are prime examples of women who do not observe hijab dress styles. Nevertheless, even in Egypt over the last twenty years more and more women who never used to wear the headscarf have begun to do so. There are many women who feel that is what proper Muslim women are supposed to do. I am not saying I think women have to wear hijab, I am just sharing this cultural trend as I find things like this interesting to follow.

However, one poster was so insistent upon personally attacking me and told me I was "ignorant" and "childish". Since I am neither of those things of course I would stick up for myself in this situation, and how ridiculous for anyone to launch a personal attack such as this. My point about how Michelle and Barack wearing revealing bath suits on the beach as amble evidence that they are not proper Muslims is a very good point, and someone trying to lambaste me for it really should think twice. I was told I should be humble and admit I was wrong on this point, however, Muslims who practice hijab would actually say this is true. Mine was a good point, and anyone trying to detract from it really is into put-downs.

Second is when I said I know some Muslims are nice people. Well there was one gentleman who decided to attack me by stating that well I could not be rational if I thought that. Of course I think most Muslims are nice, but when I was typing I happened to have just thrown in the word some. This gentleman refused to question his friend who has brought up a topic that is very hurtful and offensive, but then he begins to start trouble with me who was actually standing up against false accusations against the Obama. To be honest it is a free cyber community and people are allowed to post threads about thinking Obama is a Muslim if they want. I do not agree with the thread and I find it in very poor taste, but to attack the person who was trying to rationalize and share the truth is just odd. This may seem like a very self-involved hub, but I am just trying to address how ugly the forums can get because of pot-shots and personal attacks.

Big deal the people who decided to speak down to me like a child remind me of junior high school bullies. Truly there was no need for that, and it is very telling I was the only one attacked. Yesterday was the last time I was very active on the forum, and I will restrain myself from going there.

Bottom line is there is no proof on this planet that Obama is a Muslim, and misspeaking on tape does not make it the case. Also, I will bring up a point once again I shared on the forum, but which few people seemed to notice: there is no religious test for office in the United States. Even if Obama was a Muslim big deal, who cares! However, to say someone is a Muslim when they are not is a form of hate speech. You are free to post it on the web, and if anything Obama has seen much more open and free about people questioning him, and his policies then Bush ever was. Once when Bush was president he responded in an interview that when people question him it does not matter because he is the president, and he might just understand certain things better than the American people. So people can detract from the real issues of the day, but is it not better to have a president who is so open to your criticism. I even see Obama has a Facebook page and allows people to question him on there. So instead of bringing up sensational lies such as Obama being a Muslim, why not go write him a question or Facebook or Twitter about the economy. We live in a gossip kind of world, and even people on the forum enjoy turning things into a soap opera.

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Comments 32 comments

Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Thumbs up SP! Your hub is indeed my cup of tea. Regarding the forums, I recently decided to stay away for many of the same reasons you illustrate here. I actually did read your Obama "discussions", considered joining in, but navigated away after realizing the futility of it all. Anyway the ugliness was disturbing and this is supposed to be a season of joy.

I think I'm through with the forums. Time is precious. Although my hubscore may suffer because I choose not to accumulate forum post hits, I say, "so what". I find pleasure, meaningful conversation and my true voice posting hubs and comments. So here's to a happy, prosperous, New Year where all humanity is granted a little more wisdom.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Green Lotus,

You were a smart lady to stay away. I highly doubt any of my contributions last night changed anyone's mind, but at least anyone viewing our site from the web knows some will stand up for what is truthful and right. I really hope for a bright New Year for humanity also :).


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I have only been on HP for 6 months, Sweetie Pie, and there are some forums I'll not enter. I may read them, but never comment. They seem full of anger and slander. I admire your attempts to put forth your thoughts, and am saddened that you've met with such ridiculous commentary.

But if you choose to stay away from them, I fully get it, but you will be missed sorely!

PS: I agree with everything you say-especially 'who cares?' if Obama is a Muslim or not...I don't care if he's actually a Martian, myself.:o)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Lorlie,

I will always be around on the hubs because I enjoy these, but I need to constrain myself from even posting to the forums. May break down later, but by sharing this commentary I am able to maybe get some people to realize the forum is not the best place to find out the truth, especially under the topic conspiracy theory. I have had acquaintances telling me they thought Obama was a Muslim, and the world was ending in 2012 because of some ridiculous video people have sent them, so I feel a strong conviction to always speak out against these ridiculous conspiracy theories.


Itswritten profile image

Itswritten 6 years ago from Detroit, Michigan

I think long as a hubbers is respectfully hubbing with other hubbers it should be in any bad hubbering between any hubber, so keep on hubbing Hubbers. I am glad you pointed this out sometimes the good come with the bad. Great Hub sweetie pie.


William R. Wilson profile image

William R. Wilson 6 years ago from Knoxville, TN

Yeah it seems like the forums are just a waste of time. I feel the same urge to correct ridiculous assertions but there are some people you just won't convince.

I like an exchange of ideas and information. I like having conversations with people I don't agree with. That can happen on the forums, depending on who's around. But it seems equally likely to turn into mudslinging and vile rubbish.

I know my time is better spent writing and researching my own hubs.

But sometimes I can't resist. :)


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I agree with every statement you have made in your hub. I read that several people said the same thing and they are top writers (no offense). I personally never had the time to join and I did think about it. After hearing so many people stating the same thing about the mannerism I think I was lucky. I very respect your principles you are stating in you hub. Have a lovely holiday and forget them.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

I am not offended Hello, hello as I know I am in their league as a top writer. I have been on this site for over three years, and I often have a high hub score. Some people refer to it as being a senior hubber, but I know my writing is good enough to be published also. Just as anyone else I could publish a book one day, it would just be a matter of doing it. Thanks for your comments once again. Thanks for wishing me a lovely holiday, but to be honest I am not even upset. I continuously strive to point out silly behavior in hopes maybe it will inspire some to reflect on their words and actions. It is their problem, and not mine at the end of the day :).


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Itswritten,

I do point these things out frequently in the hub forums. I have been poked fun at and called a crybaby for it, but that was hardly the case. To me I will always stand by what I think is right, and if others do not like it that can lump it I say. Thanks for the reminder we should all try to hub for the good.

William Wilson,

Yes I noticed you were making many cogent points yesterday, and several people came back with ridiculous responses. It used to be honestly I was worried that certain Americans would make us look silly to the world with their outlandish comments, but I have to admit there was one non-American who was bit on the judgmental side. He is continuously backing up what some of the conservatives are saying, but then when certain liberal and moderate Americans make cogent points he makes them feel a little silly. He even made some comment about how Australians, the British, and Canadians all see Americans as being to highly focused on religion, when it was quite obvious several of us Americans were doing quite the opposite. As I said I never did feel quite at home on the forum for this reason because I noticed there are always little clicks on there that seem to back each other up. It almost reminds me of junior high in a way. The truth is I think we need to get past all this us vs. them mentality, and focus more on the positive. I just had to share that also.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I agree wholeheartedly with Green Lotus. I stay consciously out of the politics and religion forums exactly for this reason. It's much to easy to just drop a line and irritate a lot of people from the comfort of your own home or office and then run away. People can be so petty as they'll make remarks online without the fear of face-to-face confrontation. In my opinion, it's best to stay out of the fight and just let it slide as nothing can be resolved there in a civilized manner.

I wish you the best in your endeavors, SweetiePie, and hope that you have a safe and happy Christmas.

Dohn


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Hi Dohn,

I appreciate your comments and wish you a Merry Christmas as well.


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 6 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

I have moments when I can't face the forums. Last night was one. Some people seem to like to pick on you, I'm sorry for that. I have been attacked just by trying to be reasonable in the past. You can't win with some posters on the forum so it's not worth trying. I'm avoiding the political and religion forums during the Christmas break; I want to hold onto the fantasy of good will to all men :)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Uninvited Writer,

The funny thing is during the last few months I have been much less active on the forums. Yesterday I made about hundred posts, which is about half of the total I have made for this month. Sometimes I just get very stirred up, but it did not change anyone's mind in the end.

I too remember when you were attacked for being reasonable in the past, and many times I have to chalk it up the the junior high school mentality some people like to engage in. I do not even know why I try to converse with some, no point really. You are smart to focus on the festivities and not the chaos of the religion and political forums. Mostly this hub is a good way to remind me to stay off the forum, for the time being. I always appreciative your rational advice and suggestions.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Great hub, Sweetie. You already know my feelings on forum debates, and they mirror your own. People can disagree without being disagreeable! Thumbs up!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Habee,

I appreciate that you took the higher road last night. There were quite a few who were respectful, but that forum just got so bonkers last night. Oh well, I should have known better than to post on it. I think I will try to stick to the hubs for awhile. Thanks for your nice comments and Merry Christmas!


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Hi SP. Reading your hub makes me glad of my decision to permanently stay away from the religious and the politics forums. They're lethal to my peace of mind :). But more often than not, I still read them. This one, I skipped because I hold Muslims in a somewhat high regard since I'm in a city where 10% of our population is composed of Muslim plus my husband and in-laws are actually Muslims. Sorry to hear that you've been attacked (again). But I know you'll stick it out to them. Thumbs up and chin up :).


Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom 6 years ago from West Coast

SP - Great hub and its too bad that people have to talk down to others. I find that those who talk down have their own insecurities and misinformation.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

emievil,

I believe those people have never met anyone who is Muslim, so it is easy for them to disparage. I am proud I stayed off the forum yesterday, and I commend you for your decision to stay away from religion and politics. Peace if is more important than dealing with these dodos.

Triplet Mom,

You are very correct about how insecurity plays a big part of it. I personally believe anyone who is online putting someone down has way too much time on their hands, and how much better they could be spending that time writing hubs, and lifting others up.


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 6 years ago from Tampa Bay

nice words, sweetiepie. you know the saying, 'small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas,' that comes to mind, doesn't it in the forums or any site where opinions can be expressed. I also have been falsely accused and shook it off. The new year is upon us, and I've decided to focus more on productivity and happiness and eliminate whatever does not add to that in a meaningful way. I wish you the very best new year~~ happy hubbing.


Gabriella D'Anton profile image

Gabriella D'Anton 6 years ago from Los Angeles, Ca

The foroms at Helium are a lot worse in terms of personal attacks and insults. I was hopping H/P will be better and I still believe it is, but what happened to you is sad and only proves how immature grown ups can be.

Usually I post a comment if I feel strong about an issue and then never go back to see what others have to say about it.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

rebekahELLE,

With the New Year I am going to resist the urge to visit certain forums. Thanks for the reminder that we can all have a peaceful New Year!

Gabriella,

The mixture of characters in the forum changes, but unfortunately some of these antiques have been around for years. I am just trying to avoid the forum right now. Yes, you are right there are some forums that are much worse than HP.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Hi Sweetiepie,

I understand how you feel and remember the Forum thread in question. Just simply ignore the negative comments.

I get upset with certain postings in Religious Posts and as a result 95% of the time, I hardly open them cos I know might give some one a right telling off. lol

Maybe you should ignore political threads for a while....A lot of us respect you here - You've been on HP for 3 years.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed Xmas and Best wishes for the New Year. :)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Lady_E

I actually have not been on the forum for the last several days. Actually I have to give myself kudos because I was off the forum for a good two months, and several of the hubbers I talk to noticed. I shared with them that the forum is just not conducive for the types of conversations I like to have, and several of them agree with me.

There are some very good threads there, but even on the non-political ones I have been targeted a few times. The bottom line is when you are singled out, and quite frequently by the same person, you just bore of the forum.

I am not saying the forum is completely horrid, it really is just not for me. Any contributions I make there are better as a hub anyhow where I have the potential to earn.

I really appreciate your nice and thoughtful comments. I hope you also have a great New Year!


ocbill profile image

ocbill 6 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

Another thumbs up for you from me. Many of those people are frustrated with their own lives or friends of theirs, don't like change and have to target the blame somewhere.

They are a creative bunch though, You gotta give them that. but it appears they will continue to have limitations in their thought process.


bearclawmedia profile image

bearclawmedia 6 years ago from Mining Planet Earth

You are awesome sweetie pie, I love your rant and rave, I think your writers voice rocks and your opinion is valid. To bad I am married and old or I would write you a romantic letter. Keep up the good work. Bearclaw


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

ocbill,

I usually do not find people who engage in put-downs and junior high antics creative. Perhaps it is because I think they should have grown out of that behavior years ago, but that is just me. Thanks for sharing.

bearclawmedia,

Thanks for the nice comments.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 6 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

SP, As always, I applaud your courage and tenacity. You are right on!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Thanks alekhouse!


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

I think it's not the religion followed that make a person but his own behavior. I'm not American but I'd have no problems with a Muslim President, provided he's a good person and not one of those who find the female form uncomfortable. On another hub I said that most of the times the sin is in the eyes of the one who looks at things.

As regards the forum, where I don't participate much though, people who attack others usually are the one with issues, not the ones attacked. In a democracy there is freedom of speech and thought, and tolerance should be a must.

Having said that I like your way of writing, so I guess I should follow you. :)


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

Sweetie Pie, I am with you here. Better to write our beautiful hubs and to write on the question page. The question section is far more civilized indeed!


jezebellamina profile image

jezebellamina 3 years ago from Dallas, TX

Sorry to have to tell you this but this hub has been stolen by a scraper site and published here: (not hyperlinking because I don't want to give them a backlink)

www.financeforpeoples.com/arguing-on-forums-can-be-ridiculous.html

Unfortunately, Hubpages is unable to do anything on our behalf so we are responsible for filing our own individual DMCA complaints to hopefully rectify the situation. Good luck...

https://hubpageshelp.com/promotion/Learning-Center...

I'd love it if you'd join us in the forum talking about this scraper site and trying to see if we can elicit some help from Hubpages... http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/111219


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 3 years ago from Southern California, USA Author

Well this is what I shall do, I will just report it to Google. This has happened before, and is par for the course in Hub and blog land. Thanks for the heads up. I think I have probably done over twenty DMCA take downs since 2008.

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