Anger management. How to Control Anger
Anger is a very strong emotion often not controlled. But the way you express your anger can be managed. Anger is roughly said an extreme emotion that can be expressed in aggression, outbursts, destruction.
Rage and anger are often used as something with the same meaning. But somehow in my opinion rage is more than just feeling angry.
Rage can be built up by more moments of feeling angry. At some point someone you can't take anymore and than it can happen to you.
How to control your anger
Just accept that you can feel angry.
You don't have to feel inferior or bad when you are feeling angry. Or don't get angrier because you feel angry. Anger just happens sometimes. Just try to handle it better than just letting it out. Don't judge yourself when you're feeling it but train your way of expressing it.
Count to ten or take a time out.
Before your anger becomes a rage or fury that wants to get out, try to postpone this by counting to ten. It sounds very simple, but it really works when you make this a habit. Just start counting and just focus on the counting. And when this works maybe you can count to twenty or thirty. You'll notice the difference when you do this in a serious way. You may experience you can control it. Your anger may still be there but the way you'll express it can change this way.
When it's hard to do this in the presence of somebody else, just leave the room, find an other place to start counting and cool down. It might help because the expression on somebody else's face or the body language they express can aggravate your own anger instead of getting focus on the counting.
Take a deep breath and get high
Breathe in trough your nose for 7 seconds. Hold your breath for 5 seconds and blow your breath out trough your mouth with your lips in a way like you're trying to whistle. Repeat this five times. Maybe you'll notice you're getting dizzy and you'll feel calmer real quick. Like you're feeling high, natural high. This also works when you're just stressed out or having a panic attack.
Find a physical outlet.
When you are really really furious you often built up a lot of negative energy which has to come out. Try to relieve that energy in a physical way. Just kick against a door, a wall (and hurt your foot real bad), start a fight with a pillow or a mattress, hit a boxing ball. You can even do some pushups or start running around the block just to let that energy go without hurting others (or yourself).
A physical outlet can do wonders and when you know you have a temper, a gym can bring the solution to go to every week.
Talk about your anger
When you get angry because of what someone says or does, it's important to talk about it with that person. Instead of attacking that person with the things they have said or done to make you angry, confront them by saying that his or her behavior or approach, makes you feel misunderstood, angry, annoyed. Don't do that in a way that implicates them as the guilty one, but tell them in an "I message" For example. "I feel myself put under pressure by you" instead of "You put me under pressure" Sometimes there seems no difference between those two, but there is. The first message can have a different effect on the other person than the last message. Instead of just letting the other believe that he or she is to blame for it, you let them know what you're feeling. If you can talk about those things and be honest about what makes you angry, the other will possibly understand you more. But don't try to have such a conversation when you feel furious. Talk about it after a cool down period or a time out.
Try to find the cause of your anger
When you suddenly feel angry, try to find out what really caused it. What situation made you get angry, what triggered it. Are there patterns or similarities in moments or reactions and approach of others towards you? Is there a central theme in you getting angry suddenly?
It might help to write down everything when you're feeling angry. Keep a sort of a diary and write down the hows and whys. Sometimes it helps you to get some insight in your anger.
You have to realize that anger or rage is often caused by grieve, pain, painful memories, insecurity, sensitivity, vulnerability or just a feeling of powerlessness. Those feelings are often covered up by acting aggressive, yelling. screaming.
Is there a physical cause maybe?
Anger, aggression, anger outbursts is not only someone's nature. Sometimes there are physical reasons that cause someone to get angry. There are numerous possibilities of health problems that can be the reason for anger. So when you suddenly have a problem with outburst or sudden anger and you can't find a reason why, try to find out if there is a physical reason.
Some possible physical causes; allergies, hormonal problems, burn out, hypoglycemia, chronicle stress.
Take responsibility for your emotion
If you constantly blame others for your anger or when you just say ‘It's just who I am", nothing will ever change. You're fooling others and yourself. It's not an excuse for your behavior and you can't deny your own responsibility in all this. Maybe , just maybe, there is something you can change about yourself which makes you feel better in the future and be able to handle all kinds of situations in which you normally would get angry. Take your advantage when people tell you the truth, even when it hurts and makes you feel angry about it. Use it in a constructive positive way to make a better person out of yourself.
Feeling better now?
Okay. It might have cost some doors or pillows, a strain ankle while running around the block, but aren't you feeling better now?
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