I Decided to Be Myself Since Everyone Else is Taken

I'll Have Whatever She's Having

When Harry Met Sally-After Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in a restaurant, the woman in the background (Director Rob Reiner's mother in real life) says to the waitress: "I'll have what she's having."
When Harry Met Sally-After Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in a restaurant, the woman in the background (Director Rob Reiner's mother in real life) says to the waitress: "I'll have what she's having."

Care Less What Others Think

We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do. ~ Olin Miller

Since I am a decent and caring person, I try to live my life in a way that does not offend others. In fact, I might even go so far as to make choices about a car, my clothes, my hair or my job so as to impress those whose opinions I care about.

Not only will I make choices designed to gain approval, I probably will be influenced by the beautiful people who make the commercials or by the choices my friends or relatives have made.

The question I had to ask myself is this: How much of my life do I want to be me and how much of my life will I allow to be a reflection of the lives or opinions of those around me? One person left this comment from a thread:

I just don’t give a flying goat as to what other people are thinking about me. It’s far too restricting to live your life wondering what everyone else is thinking, and until they start making people with cartoon balloons above their heads, I vow not to care.


When I care less about what other people think and start to look inside for what I want and think, I get to be me. When I make decisions about my life from my own values and goals, I am being a proactive person--translation: I am being me.

Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values--carefully thought about, selected and internalized values. ~ Stephen R. Covey

When I make decisions about my life based on another person's values or opinions, I risk becoming more of an expression of them than myself. As someone has put it, is the life I am living worth more than the life I am giving up?

The part you were meant to play is not the script written for you by others, but the one you write for yourself. ~ Winsome

In the movie "Runaway Bride," Richard Gere (Ike Fisher) is a columnist who has a reputation for women-bashing. When he is fired for not checking his facts in his expose of Julia Roberts (aka Maggie The Runaway Bride,) he decides to shadow her before the next wedding to prove he was right. What he does not expect is that he will fall for her and at this point in the script, tells her that the reason she runs at weddings is because she is trying so hard to be what she thinks they want her to be that she doesn't know who she really is.


                Every one of those times I was being supportive.

                Not supportive! You weren't being supportive!
                You were scared! You were scared then, 
                you're scared now.
                You are the most lost woman--

                - Lost? 

                - Yes, lost. You're so--
                You're so lost, you don't even know 
                what kind of eggs you like.

                - Yes. Yes! - What?

                That's right. With the priest, 
                you wanted scrambled.
                With the Dead Head, it was fried.
                With the bug guy, it was poached.
                Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only. 
                Thank you very much."

                That is called changing your mind.

                No, that's called not having a mind of your own.
                Maggie, what are you doing?
                You really want that guy up there to drag you...
                up Annapurna for your honeymoon?
                You do not wanna climb Annapurna!

                Yes, I do!

                [Sighs]
                No, you don't.

 
 
Eventually Maggie and Ike decide they love each other and have a wedding and 
(You guessed it) she runs away again. Time goes by and Maggie
begins to look inside to find out who she is. She goes forward 
with her lamp designs and for the last scene we see her waiting
for Ike in his Manhattan apartment. She tells him:

                When I was walking down the aisle, 
                I was walking toward somebody...
                who had no idea who I really was.
                And it was only half the other person's fault...
                because I had done everything to convince him...
                that I was exactly what he wanted.
                So, it was good...
                that I didn't go through with it because it 
                would've been a lie.
                But you--
                You knew the real me.

                Yes, I did.

                I didn't.

                Still, I ended up chasing a truck.

                I can't, um, do anything about the truck.
                But, uh--
                - Benedict. 

                - Arnold?

                I love eggs Benedict.
                I hate all the other kinds of eggs.
                I hate big weddings, everybody staring.
                I'd like to get married on a weekday while 
                everybody's at work.
                And if I ride off into the sunset, 
                I want my own horse.

They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them. ~ Ghandi

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you... If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you... If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much ~ Rudyard Kipling

Kipling in his classic poem "If," praises the ability to be yourself in the face of chaos, blame,and the mistrust of your foes. With friends or the crowds or Kings, he gives credit to the ability to retain your own compass and standards.

It helps me to realize that people are not thinking about me all the time and when they do think about me, I choose to believe that they are thinking well of me. Even in the odd moments when they are thinking negatively of me, I realize they are only human and can be mistaken and while everyone has the right to their opinion, it doesn’t mean I should give it any more weight than my own.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

The ones whose opinion I look to for balance in my life are a well chosen few.

The ones I look to for advice and feedback are the few who know the most about me and like me anyway, the ones related to me that I gravitate to, and certain ones who either are trained professionals or through experience have mentored me with wisdom and grace. What all others think about me is none of my business—it is their business and their prerogative, but I do not have to invest in it.


From "Pride and Prejudice"-- MR.DARCY:I hope you are not displeased with Pemberley! ELISABETH:No not at all! MR.DARCY:Then you approve of it? ELISABETH:Very much. I think there are few who would not approve! MR.DARCY:But your good opinion is rarely bestowed and therefore more worth the earning!

Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet. ~ Plato

In addition to the small circle whose advice I welcome, I have also found it extremely helpful to ask for God's guidance and insight. When the new King Solomon was given the opportunity to ask God for something, instead of riches or power or fame, he asked for wisdom. The gift of wisdom was the right request, because the other three followed it.

It also helps me to be the best I can be if I assume the best in others.

One of my favorite Will Rogers type persons, Uncle Bud Robinson said: "If you are going to insult me, you’re going to have to say it in such a way that I can't possibly take it as a compliment."

There is ALWAYS a way to interpret others’ words, actions and possible thoughts in a positive way. If you assume the worst, you may be wrong and both you and they will feel bad, but if you assume the best, you help to make them better and you feel great.

Society Has to Function

When I say that we should worry less about what others think, I do not mean we should ignore our parents, teachers, churches, employers and government. In a civilized society, we develop rules to protect and support the freedom of life we enjoy and we all need to practice some kind of conformity in order for society to function.

Being Yourself Means You Can Decide

Although some form of cooperation with the system is necessary, we should always privately examine authority, teachings and even the well-intentioned advice from our parents and see if it resonates with the solid core of values we have come to make our own. Never trade validation and safety for the personal realization that comes from introspection, prayer and wisdom. Only you can decide what is best and correct for you.

When you encounter difficult words, actions or circumstances, your sense of self assurance and self worth will help you keep your head. Your principles and values and the unique perspective that makes you the person you are will enable you to:

Choose the way you feel about it

Choose alternatives to a difficult situation

Choose the way you will respond

Happiness does not depend on everything going your way, it depends on the way you choose to go ~ Winsome

In the world to come, I shall not be asked, "Why were you not Moses?" I shall be asked, "Why were you not Zusya?" ~ Rabbi Zusya

©Winsome Publishing 2010 All rights reserved.



How Much of Me is Me

What Percentage of My Life is Completely Me

  • 10% I am influenced almost completely by others, society, church or partner
  • 25% I am mostly influenced by others, society, church or partner
  • 50% Half the time I decide and half the time others dictate what I do
  • 75% Most of the time I do what I want to do and sometimes what others want
  • 100% I always do what I want to do and heck with everyone else
See results without voting

Comments 151 comments

thevoice profile image

thevoice 6 years ago from carthage ill

amazing detailed love hub its terrific six star reading I walk with god yet care for all people its who i am thanks


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

The influence of the 'pack' is always a factor in decision making.

Great hub!


missmaudie profile image

missmaudie 6 years ago from Brittany, France

Great hub Winsome! As I've got older I've found it easier to care less about what other people think, not in a bad way, just in a more self confident way. I've always tried to find my own way and not be influenced by others but I think it becomes easier as you get older. Love the Rudyard Kipling poem by the way. I have a feeling that it was voted the best loved poem in the UK a few years ago.


myownworld profile image

myownworld 6 years ago from uk

'The part you were meant to play is not the script written for you by others, but the one you write for yourself'. So true! Beautifully written hub winsome...and some very wise words there... It's always such a pleasure reading your hubs! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Winsome. The title of your hub should be saved for your book. It is awesome and self-explanatory.

This a thoughtful, even provocative hub and I'm glad you wrote it and that I read it.

Thank you.


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Winsome, I have but one thing to say about this...

Other peoples opinions of me are NONE of my business!

wink ;) wink ;) attcha baby! Rate it Up! Peace :)


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Great stuff. drbj said it too, but the title is brilliant as is this entire Hub. I also like the Stephen R. Covey quote about reactive vs proactive. Here's to writing our own script. Thanks!


cherry rose  6 years ago

wow I felt as you saw into my mind and thoughts


lightning john profile image

lightning john 6 years ago from Florida

Winsome, as with most of your writing, there is a wisdom conveyed than only a person with many years can acheive. I have now come to expect this from you. Are you sure you are not 175 years old.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

This is a very good hub. It is so important to be true to yourself if you want to be happy in my opinion. Then, you have more to give back.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Reality is knowing what you want and need. Wisdom is have the skills to dynamically balance your needs vs. the needs of others...


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

The Voice, thank you for your kind words and the 6 stars. Sounds like you have a good handle on listening to good advice and caring for others. =:)

Lorlie I always include you in my "pack." Thanks for the thumbs up.

Miss Maudie, ha ha, so that's the secret just grow older. I think we all can manage that. =:) You are probably right about the Kipling poem. I was surprised how much of it was devoted to keeping your own compass when everyone is telling you where to go. =:)

MOW, the pleasure is also mine when you stop by. I'm trying to live by the script but I find there is a lot of editing along the way. =:) Best to you.

Hey Doc, thanks for the gracious words and for the advice. I got my inspiration for the title from something Oscar Wilde once said. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Katie, thank you for rating it up and for the wink ;). Just for the record, my opinion of you is: 100% awesome.

Green Lotus, the great stuff comes a lot easier knowing and reading wonderful people like you. Re-act or pro-act, I'm just trying to clean up my act and act accordingly. =:)

Cherry Rose, what a nice thing to say--killing me softly with his words, killing me softly--oh sorry got carried away. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Pamela, thank you for your comment. The being true to yourself was what I was going for. Maybe a future hub will be the things we put in our mission statement or life goals or life values journal. =:)

Dallas, thanks for commenting, you are right that it is a balance. This hub was all about making sure you put your own values and needs in the mix. Good to have you stop by.


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 6 years ago from Florida

Reading a couple of your hubs inspired me to join. You have talent!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Lightning John, you know what they say "It's not the age it's the number of mistakes you've made" Oh maybe I said that. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Mystery Lady you are too kind. I don't think you will have trouble being yourself since only a princess has a AAAA slipper. =:)


Granny's House profile image

Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

Winsome, as we get older, we kind of learn not to care what others think. I try and tell my kids this. I will have to let them read your hub. Rated up!


mwatkins profile image

mwatkins 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC

Excellent Quotes and movie segments and thought put into this hub! I believe that older people simply value what time they have left on this planet and have less tolerance for foolish pride, people who don't/won't/can't learn humility, bad manners, and shorter days. They understand how insignificant they (all of us)truly are in the big picture of life. So, they have less time to waste and less tolerance for those things or people who get in their way. I stopped 'shoulding' on myself years ago - with my permission (of course!) Life, it's an amazing journey. You are a talented writer!


coffeesnob 6 years ago

It was a tough vote. My choices depend on so much. I generally give, give and give some more. I don't usually make decisions based on a need for acceptance -but once in while I do (so I gues I could have voted based on this) but often my decisions are "other" because I love making a difference. Great hub

CS


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Granny, thank you and please let have them read it. Kids need to deal with this issue now so life is not so hard. I love the comment: "I don't give a flying goat..." =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

MWatkins, you are kind, thank you. I'm glad to hear the "shoulda" is dealt with, that only leaves "coulda" and "woulda." =:) So glad you stopped by.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

CS, I know it's tough because even though we like to think we are our own person, if you have a family, a job, a committee, a partner, all of them need you to do something for them and before you know it your life is not your own. I probably could have phrased it differently but what I meant was what percentage is your choice, even if it is what others want. The person who says yes when they want to say no has been me too often and this article is me coming to terms with all that. =:) Thank you for your comment.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

Thought provoking hub, Winsome. We always yearn to be able to be ourselves - perhaps that's why the iconoclasts of the world have our secret admiration. :)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

FP, I'm delighted you stopped by. I've been meaning to find your hubs and guess what I found on the first I read: "I’ve realised that how I look from the outside is never going to change the way I feel inside." Looks like you have found your compass and what others think is secondary. Thank you for your comment. As Freta says: "See you soon." =:)


moncrieff profile image

moncrieff 6 years ago from New York, NY

I agree with all the points in this hub. But what if one strips himself completely, that is, gets rid of social nonsense apparel, one may find that his bare self is not much of a guide, in fact, he may have an ugly psyche. Certain expections that the society, friends, co-workers set on us therefore allow us to cope with ourselves and the surrounding world. Only very strong and health-spirited personalities would be up to the challenge of being oneself.


Cathi Sutton profile image

Cathi Sutton 6 years ago

What a great Hub! I so enjoy the way you write. And the title is very catchy! I'll be back soon!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Moncrieff, thank you for your comment. Ugly psyche's and beautiful psyche's need the structure of society, a trusted few advisors and God to help them when their own wisdom or experience or hunches aren't enough. The important thing is that the buck stops with us. When we lean or depend too much on the opinions of others, we give up the thing we should value most: our identity and responsibility for who we are and the life and choices we make. Glad you stopped by. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Cathi, it is a pleasure to write in such a gracious and gifted community. Thank you so much for your support.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC

Winsome, this is a fantastic article! I really enjoyed reading it and I couldn't agree more. Long ago when I was constantly worrying about what others thought about me I had a friend tell me " Madison, I have news for you, you are not that important." Well, that was a shocker,LOL. Thanks again. :-)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Ha ha Madison, sounds like you took it in the right spirit. By not taking ourselves so seriously we are more able to deal with the junk that comes our way and keep a positive outlook. I think your friend probably meant that most people are not thinking about it as much as you were and that your importance is not defined by the careless thinking of people who are not a part of your intimate circle.

All that to say you are important to me and all who know you in this community. Thank you for your always gracious and appreciated words. =:)


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

Winsome, I heard a psychologist on the radio one day talking about people who are very shy. He said the best thing they can do is to learn to stop thinking about themselves and how others view them, that that kind of thinking causes anxiety that can create social anxiety problems.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

The older I get the less I care about what others think. It's really a daunting task as you've described, and you've got to spend so much time doing it. Besides, I'd rather hang with people who respect me anyway for being real.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Well Dolores, sounds like we are on the right track here. Thank you for the report. Maybe they need Stuart Smalley's audio tape: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Springboard, thanks for stopping by. And by the way, I vouch for you, you are the real deal. I have a friend who grows a long Fu Manchu beard and spouts sayings like: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy," pastors a church, has his own vineyard and a heart big as Texas. All his friends count themselves lucky to have such a character in their posse of acquaintances because he dares to be himself. Now you and I would choose another way to be ourselves, but the point is, the more I am true to the unique blueprint that is me, the more comfortable I and my friends will be. =:)


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

In this hub you've told us all that you don't really care whether we like you or not,(but how could we not?), while at the same time putting forth the effort to encourage us to like each other, flaws and all. I've learned to view other's opinions of me from a wonderful aunt, who says she doesn't mind if people talk about her, at least she knows she's on their mind, lol.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Ha ha Laura, no what I meant to convey is I'm trying not to care so much if others don't like me for who I am, but do I care about the wonderful people who read and support me?---think Grand Canyon. =:) Your aunt sounds like my favorite Aunt "Nanny" Mae who was married to my favorite Uncle "Boo." Thanks for visiting.


lalesu profile image

lalesu 6 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

Oh, Winsome - I know you weren't thumbing your nose at anyone, "Who's on first?" LOL!


palmbay 6 years ago

Love this hub!

I often think this 'is the life I am living worth more than the life I am giving up?'

Often peers, friends, family members or partners give advice/opinions that really suits them rather than you, so sometimes time out is necessary to let your real opinion come through and make a decision that is right for only you.

This really made me think, so thanks!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Exactly. I could not have said it better, and in fact, I didn't. :)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Palmbay, you are welcome and thanks for the great comment. Glad you took some time out to visit. We have to hold on to our identity, it's the only thing in life that is truly ours. =:)


kimh039 profile image

kimh039 6 years ago

Love the title! Can I quote you? I'm glad you added the idea that society has to function and we need to cooperate. I knew someone who went from caring too much what others think to not caring enough - which led to some trouble. Great hub....rating up.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Kim, thank you for your comment. I only wish society would cooperate when we need to function. =:)


Betty Reid profile image

Betty Reid 6 years ago from Texas

I enjoyed your hub, as it relates to some things I am going through right now. Your use of quotes added a nice touch.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you Betty, I'm happy the article was helpful. It really helps to see a smiling face and to get positive feedback.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Intrigued by the title (for a moment I thought you will be telling us why it is better to be alone than in bad company) I wanted to see the rest. I am glad I did; this hub is superb and I appreciate you gathered the wisdom of great men to put it together and make your point laud and clear. Thank you


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

Oh, I really loved this hub Winsome. You did a great job. I love the way you brought in different conversations from films that got right to the heart of the matter.

For me it was amazing to reflect on my own personal growth. As I am not the same person that I was years ago. Today, I feel pretty healthy and know who I am and what I want etc. I am sure, that so many people will identify with this hub. Maybe some will even have a sudden revelation.

Love this hub, rated it up!

Sage


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Ha Ha Petra, maybe it would be better to be alone than in bad company. Thank you for the gracious comment. Yes, there are some great minds out there and we need all of them. I appreciate the great wisdom on HP also, yourself included. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Sage, so glad you liked it. I agree about the films--it's amazing how much we can identify when great screenwriters and actors portray your subject. If you haven't seen the Runaway Bride movie, I recommend it--lots of issues there we can empathize with and it ends well as most Garry Moore movies do. Thanks for kind words from a well-turned out and gracious lady. =:)


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

Absolutely LOVE your title. Should be required reading for every teenager! As I have moved through life I have learned to separate fact from opinion and now when someone fires a label at me I simply say, "Thank you for your opinion." I no longer expend any energy trying to show them I am not what they think I am - I am like Popeye - "I am what I am and that's all that I am." Well Done!


Chaotic Chica profile image

Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

This is a great hub! So much truth in such simplicity. When you think back to the people you remember most, good or bad, it's usually the ones who walked their own path and failed to appologize for it. I am one of those people pleasers that would sooner let sommeone walk all over me than offend them. As I got older and had kids and survived the trials my path has provided me, I have come closer to acheiving that delicate balance between being true to me and not stepping on toes while I do it. Thank you for this hub, it is much needed.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

RaisingMe, I like your response: "Thank you for your opinion." Acknowledging their right without getting worked up is so sensible you wonder why the rest of us don't do it more often. Must be the spinach. =:)


Frieda Babbley profile image

Frieda Babbley 6 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

Winsome, I love this hub. I hope it speaks out loud and strong to everyone who reads it and I hope people are sharing. Great examples. So glad you wrote this and that I got to read it.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you Frieda, I hope so too. I think that it's when we feel comfortable with ourselves that we can truly value others. Speaking of that, I greatly value your voice in our community. Thank you for your friendship. =:)


Sandyspider profile image

Sandyspider 6 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

Excellent title here. Thanks for speaking out.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Ha ha, Sandy, kind of like "Eat my salad post card." Thanks for visiting. I would get around more if I had eight legs. =:)


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

You outdid yourself on this one. Very well written and thought provoking. I wish I could totally not care about what others think, but I need to work on it really hard. Thanks.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Elayne, I think the key is care less when you start to lose your you, but care enough to learn and relate. Thank you for stopping by--I visited your gallery--great images. =:)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 6 years ago from Virginia

Winsome, what a great read this is. I'm so happy that a link to this was posted on Facebook otherwise I might have missed a true gem! The title really grabbed me. :) Wonderful job about an incredible truth.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Your ability to weave movie scripts, quotes and your own thoughts into one Hub is awesome.... and you do it with a twist of humor and delight that I really relate to.

Life teaches us wisdom, and you share your view of life in a way we all gain wisdom with you. COOL!

As I told my recent Boss when he was trying to get under my skin "forget about trying to get under my skin it is too think. I'm a hard nosed, hard headed opinionated guy but I will listen. You will never change my mind, but I am always willing to form a new decision based on additional information."

______________________________________________

I'm me - and I like me as I am. "A growing character capable of both making mistakes and learning" and "I truly don't care what you think of me." LOL

Love this hub..... rated up and taking the time to share this one for sure.

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Pam, serendipity. I didn't know it was linked--thank you whoever did it and thank you Pam for your kindness. The good news is when great people like you are yourself, we all have a terrific show. So pleased you like it. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Neil, I love the way you put it--I won't change my mind, but I'll consider making a new decision based on new information. Congratulations on sticking to your guns. As Cat Stevens said (loosely) people are "..looking for a hard headed (someone) who will take me for myself." I appreciate your sharing and the generous comment.


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 6 years ago from NYC

Winsome, this is so awesome. Good job! It really makes you feel free when you are just yourself, I love it.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Madison, thank you. I should have included you in the article as one of those who consistently make you feel like being yourself is special. Glad you stopped by. =:)


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I agree, the key is to know yourself - what you want, what you need, what you are. If you do, then pleasing the people around you or meeting their expectations would not necessarily mean losing yourself but instead becomes part of who you are. Besides being complete does not mean being "isolatedly" so. No man is an island they say.

An engaging read. Thanks for sharing :D


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

"To thine own self be true and it follows as night follows day that you cannot be false to any man." Thank you Chris, that was what I hoped to get across. Being comfortable with who you are puts others at ease and the real fun can begin. =:)


TroyM profile image

TroyM 6 years ago

It's tough to not care, really. Easier to say, but difficult to do.


charanjeet kaur profile image

charanjeet kaur 6 years ago from Delhi

Winsome a very thought provoking hub. Sometimes I feel the desire to be loved by one and all can really take a toll on you. There will come times when we have to say no in a relationship. Thanks for sharing, if only life were this simpler.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Troy, thank you for the comment and you are right--I will say this though, I promised myself that I would make everything I write personal or I wouldn't write it. I struggle with this issue, but the things in this article have really helped. I think the key to me is respect--respect for myself and who I am as well as my gifts etc. and respect for the other's right to own their feelings without me appropriating them as my own. It really is none of my business. Keeping it at arms length takes the sting out and I can more appropriately deal with their concerns.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Char of the excellent tikka masala recipe, welcome. No it is not simple that is why this hub. I do believe as I wrote to Troy above, that there is a principle here that if we can grasp will help it all make sense. It is like the difference between the Greek types of love--with phileo, the brotherly type love, you get this love back if you do something--if you are brotherly or neighborly and kind, chances are you will get a similar return. The agape kind of love has no conditions and some think only God is able to give this kind of love. I'm not saying that what people think and feel about you is not important, I'm just saying that out of respect for that individual you let them have their opinion, you weigh it abstractly and maybe even do something a little differently by what you decide, but when you make it your own or put conditions of emotion into it is not kind to yourself or them. Thank you so much for your kind comment.


True Blue Tips profile image

True Blue Tips 6 years ago

It is so true that if you don't know who you are you don't know what you want. The good news is that the older I get the better I know myself and I don't feel the need to please everyone. Besides the people who love me are the people who love who I am!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi True Blue, had to take a second to go read your "10 foods" hub so I would know who I am thanking for coming by. I love that scene in Bridget Jones' Diary where her friends at the restaurant are toasting her:

TOM: Well done,Bridge.

Fourhours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup...

omelet, and marmalade.

Thankyou.

I think that deserves a toast, don'tyou?

To Bridget...

who cannot cook, but who we love...

just as she is.

ALL: To Bridget...

just as she is.


cosette 6 years ago

being true to one's self can get lonely sometimes, but it is better to be alone and liking yourself than to be surrounded by people you don't cherish and being filled with self-loathing. that Kipling quote has always been one of my favorites.


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Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Cosette, thanks for bringing those cool boots over here. You are so right, I just think to myself, "Are these the people I want to be at my side when I leave this world?" The people who will take you to the airport and remember your birthday even if you forget theirs are the keepers--My favorite part of the Kipling quote is his description of people who lose their head and then try to blame you for it--cracks me up every time I read it. =:)


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Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Chaotic Chica, I don't know what happened to my reply to your great comment. I think I took too much time and my computer went offline or something, but anyway--thank you so much for your kind words. Your path may not have been the one your wiser self would have chosen, but it is your path, none the less. What we do with today's installment of that path is what makes all the difference. Thank you for stopping by.


Dobson profile image

Dobson 6 years ago from Virginia

It is unfortunate how much we allow our life and choices to be influenced by what we "think" others think about us. Wouldn't it be great if we could get over ourself and what we think others believe about us!

Thanks for putting this out for discussion and deeper thought!


wordscribe41 6 years ago

Love this! I've been working really hard on this the past few years. Being your authentic self can be hard, especially when you've been a people-pleaser your whole life then POOF! you change. Anyway, awesome hub with a grand title.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Dobson, you're welcome and thanks for the comment. Great name by the way. What you said is important, we could be changing the way we live based on our own imagination of what others think. If I'm are going to change the way I live my life, I want it to be because I have thought about it and choose to change for some darn good reasons of my own. =:)


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Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Wordscribe thank you for the great compliment. It's like the good cop/bad cop treatment--you don't want to enable and become invisible, but when you put up some healthy boundaries and start to use the no word, those people who got used to the other way are a little shocked. The good news is that when they get used to the new, improved and confident you, even though it may feel inconvenient for them, they will like that you a whole lot more--and as a bonus, they usually feel better about themselves. Thanks for coming by. =:)


wordscribe41 6 years ago

You nailed it Winsome! From that little sentence you described my scenario, with frightening accuracy. Trouble is, right now, I'm a little on the "overboard side" if that makes sense... I'm ATTEMPTING to set healthier boundaries, with more balance. Thanks for commenting back.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

My pleasure WS, I wouldn't worry about the boundary setting--unlike the ones that define your property lines, personal boundaries are expected to work themselves out. Just don't get intimidated by the reactions, learn from them, adjust if you have to and full speed ahead on being the very best you that you can be. Everyone else will either keep up or eat your dust. =:)


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Very good Winsome! I like and agree with with all you've said here. I however- quit cutting my hair after Vietnam because we were drawn into the Vietnam War with the Gulf of Tonkin lie. The way I wear my hair is from God, the lack of God in our citizens, the lack of truth in our ways of life. This is just me and just my truth. 40 years of being me- fro the truth. Thanks!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Micky, that means by now you should be getting it tangled up in the gears--ouch! I can just hear you now, I don't need a haircut I'm going on a crosscountry ride... =:)

I hear what you are saying about being yourself and because you are my friend--virtually of course--I might ask are you really being yourself if you define who you are by what you are against? Just a thought. Love to you and thanks for your comment.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA

I can't believe that I have not seen your hubs before today. This is awesome...I think that if we try to be like others we are heading down the path of trouble. We are probably better off than they are; they just keep it to themselves...You have given some very take note info for all. Thanks you for sharing with us.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey LC, you are so right, there is always something we don't know about others that might shock or help us to understand why they do what they do. The kindest thing we can do for ourselves and them is to assume they like us and they are just having a difficult time expressing it. =:) Thank you for stopping by.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

I really enjoyed this read and it's so true: going along to get along is ultimately self-defeating.

Thanks for sharing

Lovea and peace

Tony


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hello friend Tony, thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed it. When you are at peace with yourself you can truly benefit from the observations of others and I am always increased by yours. =:)


TINA V profile image

TINA V 6 years ago

It is really important for a person to be true to himself/ herself. However, listening to others feedback can also help a person grow. But self-acceptance and genuineness will contribute a lot to the fulfillment and self-realization of an individual. Just some thoughts to ponder.

You have a well written hub. It was nice of you to share this to your readers. Have a great week!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Tina, thank you for your insight and kind words. It's true, the person who never listens to the feedback of others must wear mustard on their face a lot. =:) You have a nice week too.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 6 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Another wonderful hub, Winsome!

In my old age, I've developed zero tolerance for the "herd mentality". It's my theory that most of the unhappiness and discord in the world is a result of ignoring the little voice that tells us when something isn't "right" or "isn't me".

I've always loved The Runaway Bride, btw. Every girl needs an Ike to show her the path to self-awareness. After years of trying to be who those near and dear wanted me to be, I had an opportunity to shut out the world for 10 months and find out who I *really* was. Not everyone has this luxury, of course, but more should find a way to do so. Learning to say "NO" ***without feeling guilty*** is a good start.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey JG, thank you so much for your kind words. That was a great opportunity to have that sabbatical--my way was to increasingly be in tune with the times my yes was really a no on the inside and try to have more real yes's and some tactful, but firm no's. I can't say everyone around me is totally happy with that, but I am. =:)


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 6 years ago from Central Oklahoma

My experience with those suddenly hearing "no" from someone who's always said "yes" (or "okay", with hesitation) will get over it fairly quickly as soon as another doormat lands in their sights. ;D


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

WOW! Congratulations! You have an incredible amount of comments here. I loved your Hub! Especially the reference to "If" by Rudyard Kipling and the opening quote by Olin Miller. A marvelous piece of work. Thank you.


maggs224 profile image

maggs224 6 years ago from Sunny Spain

What a fascinating read, I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I wish I had read something this well written and simple when I was much younger. Maybe if I had I wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying unsuccessfully to please others.

Fortunately I woke up to the fact that being a people pleasers was a way to short change everyone and it usually ended up with everyone being dissatisfied even the people that you tried to please. I loved the Rudyard Kippling quotes and all the other quotes and illustrations that you used. This is an excellent well-crafted hub with a great title and from all the great comments that you have received I think I can safely say that I am not the only one that thinks so. You have won yourself a fan and I am rating this up.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Jama, that sounds like a great idea--doormat decoys. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey James, thank you, I appreciate the kind words, knowing what care you put into your own. Being yourself when others want you to be something else is the story of most relationships. Vive la difference. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Maggie, loved the AAADD--thank you. You are so right about short changing people. Our business is giving others what is unique to us whether they approve or not. Thank you for a very thoughtful comment.


rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE 6 years ago from Tampa Bay

another wonderful hub winsome. I think there comes a time (many times we don't notice!) in our lives when we finally get it and say, ahh, so this is what life is, and we realize that self-discovery allows us to be who we really are. conventional views are those that require no thought. I like Socrates quote about thinking, " I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make him think." I think as parents, one of the greatest lessons we can give our children is to 'teach' them how to think, and not what to think.

I'm glad you decided to be yourself, as you are wonderful, very clever title. :]


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Nice to see you Rebekah and thank you for the gracious words--self discovery is great unless you are Pogo who said: "We have met the enemy and he is us." =:)


fetty profile image

fetty 6 years ago from South Jersey

Very amazing hub. A great title that drew us in and magnificent use of quotes, movies and poetry. A very thought provoking hub. You spent a lot of time on this , well done. I also believe you can laugh at yourself and it shows. Nice touch.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey Fetty, thank you so much for your insight and comment. When you can laugh at yourself, your comedy material is with you wherever you go. =:)


Crazdwriter 6 years ago

Another great read by the great writer Winsome. Nice job. And yes I am like you...everyone else is taken so I'll just be me and not care what others think lol two thumbs up...if I could hehe


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey CW, I see those thumbs--thank you. I sometimes think of people as having playing cards on their foreheads--everyone knows us better than we do when it comes to obvious things, the things that drive us and make us unique is ours. How we cherish and make known those things is what make us us. =:)


Jewels profile image

Jewels 6 years ago from Australia

I have met the enemy and know it's me. Good hub, useful and timely. Realizing everyone is taken - a lifelong lesson, I'm looking forward to getting to know the real me. Deconstruction and transformation is not easy, but will be worth it.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Taking ownership of who you are and finding joy in the choices you make is both liberating and empowering. I am the best me there is. Everyone on the planet sucks at being me, but I excel at it and I suck when I try to be anyone else. =:)


faithfulpen 6 years ago

Wow! You sure do have a lot of comments!! I thought I'd never get to express mine. ; ) Great hub! Loved your quote! The one about 'the script we write for ourselves, and not by others'.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you Faithful Pen, I'm so glad you liked it. I think there were so many commenting because it's a very familiar theme that contributes so much to the who we become.

I appreciate your expressions of who you are. Keep being you. =:)


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

I loved this hub. So many good thoughts!

I have found that the older I get, the less I care about what people think about me. I am enjoying being Me.

Hey, I am 60, and I don't give a frog's croak whether it is the right season to wear white shoes.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Lol BL, I'll have to add "I don't give a frog's croak" to my collection along with "a flying goat" of hilarious self aware idioms--besides, Pat Boon and Emmy Lou Harris would be wearing the white shoes with you. =:)

I'm glad you are you too--thank you so much for the visit and kind words.


kai777 profile image

kai777 6 years ago from Chicago

Wonderful! I too believe each of us are the "star" of our own story and should make choices based on the values within. Very uplifting.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

I thought you would enjoy this based on your other comments. I was going through a learning period myself and writing what I believe helps me live it. Thank you Kai for sharing in my journey as I share in yours. =:)


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada

Great hub - thought=provoking (and comment-provoking, too, I see). Plenty of food for thought here. Thanks for the wise words from a true original! PS - adore the title, too.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Red, thank you for the visit and the nice compliments,

those of us who spend a lot of time helping and caring for others sometimes forget that we can shortchange others when we neglect ourselves. Here's to many more fun exchanges and celebrations of the unique wonders we are. You definitely are one of HP's adorable treasures. =:)


amorea13 6 years ago

Class again Winsome - great writing and wonderful research with quotes so 'apropos' they really 'stick'. Brilliant! I love reading your words - so:

When is the book coming out? - no seriously - you have more than one inside - time (I humbly think) to let many others share the 'Winsome Wisdom' - and if that sounded like a joke in any way it wasn't, not at all - it's just my clumsy expression - cos I meant absolutely what I said. I'll buy any book of yours Winsome.

Great hub and thank you.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you Amorea, those are gracious words and much appreciated. At the rate I'm going the book should be out before the next Haley's comet sighting. In the meantime we shall have fun comparing yarns with the rest of you genius writers on HP. Thanks again for your support. =:)


messerc123 profile image

messerc123 6 years ago from El Paso, Texas

Wow, such a talented writer. I think as children we are molded to be what are parents want us to be, except for the few kids who do the opposite. Then as teenagers we want to be exactly what are friends are that I think it is when we are adults that we can really find out who we are as individuals. Loved your hub.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you M, it's a wonder we all survive since parents aren't given a manual and there is no test like the DMV to prove they can handle a child--we wind up getting our wisdom from even less qualified teens and graduate into adulthood with no guarantee we listened correctly. I'm glad someone is watching over us. =:)


Karanda profile image

Karanda 6 years ago from Australia

It is a never ending struggle looking for the balance between caring for ourselves and not stepping on other people's toes. You have set the way beautifully and reminded me of my own worth. Thank you Winsome.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

You are so welcome Karanda, it took me a long time to realize that the better I felt about who I was, the more I could concentrate on what I liked about others. Pleasure getting to know you. =:)


Gerg profile image

Gerg 6 years ago from California

I love this, Winsome - this exemplifies what I really enjoy about Hubpages. Wise thoughts - eloquently conveyed; thank you!

G


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Wise thoughts, eloquently conveyed--I couldn't ask for a greater compliment than that. Thank you Gerg, you are yourself and you do yourself credit. =:)


earnestshub profile image

earnestshub 6 years ago from Melbourne Australia

Lovely hub winsome, full of truth. Being ourselves requires that we be our best selves I reckon.

"What others think of me is none of my business" is an adage that I apply.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey EH, thanks for coming by and for the nice words. Whatever authentic self we end up being has got to be better than one patterned after another's best. I can learn from Mother Teresa, but I would make a lousy her. You are right, being yourself is "minding your own business." =:)


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

Very nice hub, must be bookmarked


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hey SGFR, thank you and let me know what you think about the "reactive vs. proactive" part. So glad you stopped by. =:)


fossillady 5 years ago

I like the Dr. Suess quote. Be who you are, say what you feel, those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind. We all need these reminders from time to time! Great hub!


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi FL, thanks for stopping by--isn't he great. He also said: "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." =:)


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I'm already hooked. You have a truly inspirational gift. The opening quote by Olin Miller reminds me of what my mother once told me, that self-consciousness is the ultimate selfishness. Like the 2 year old believing they are the center of the universe, to be self conscious one must be solely focused on how everyone within visual field perceives them...the truth is in Miller's quote. It's hard work being a chameleon, but it is surprising how quickly one adapts to figuring out what the other needs. It is deception in it's most egocentric form and a sure way to an inauthentic life. Thank you for this informative, interesting, beautifully written, thought provoking read.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Amy, your mother is a wise woman. It is selfish to take ownership of others opinions--it is their property and not ours and the sooner we let go of them the happier we will be. I so appreciate your kind words and your marvelous comment. I am glad we ran into each other. Thank you for the fan tribute, I will try to live up to it. =:)


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

So glad to have stumbled upon you. What a fantastic article. I will be back to read more written by you.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

I'm glad you did too, every time I have a hard question everyone says "Just ask Susan!" now I know what they meant. Just kidding but I looked at your articles and I will be coming by soon. Thanks for the kind words. =:)


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 5 years ago

I am mostly myself. The exceptions would be who I need to be for my employer, family and friends.

However, although I would like to believe that I am myself, a part of me believes that everyone's life was scripted at the moment of conception. So that while I think I am being myself and perceiving that I am simply me, I sometimes feel as though I am living out my maker's script, if that makes sense.


cwarden profile image

cwarden 5 years ago from USA

I was attracted to the title of your hub and you definitely didn't disappoint me! Wonderful. I look forward to reading more of your work.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you CW, one of my biggest struggles has been to accept that I am ok the way I am and that it is ok to want some things for myself--even before I attend to the needs of everyone around me. I know this may sound as though I have become full of myself, but it actually just means I have achieved a kind of balance. Being all I can be is often the best thing I can do for those around me.

Good to meet you and thanks again for the kind words. =:)


Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

Fascinating, though the "runaway bride" quotes were kind of difficult to get who was talking unless you had all ready seen the movie. Though this is well-written and a good message, I have to be completely honest with you, it's not your best piece. The title is witty, as always, the style is excellent, but there is something missing from this hub in comparison to the many other pieces you have done. I don't mean to be such a critic, but from reading your hubs I have gotten used to interesting reads full of energy and intelligence. This one isn't my favorite. Though it kills me to say so because you used one of my favorite books in this.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Phoebe thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Wherever this article ranks on your favorites list (I'm happy you have enjoyed many of mine) the idea of being comfortable with who you are is vitally important. We may not always resonate with everyone in the same way and when it comes time to hit the "publish now" button, we all know our best is yet to come.

The fact that you would say this article is, "fascinating...well-written..a good message..witty with excellent style" and still not one of my better pieces, makes it high praise indeed. I shall endeavor to keep the bar high. =:)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

P.S. I fiddled with the "Runaway" dialogue, it should be easier to know who is speaking now. =:)


Doctor Kristy profile image

Doctor Kristy 5 years ago from Australia

Another great article by you. I should read your articles more, I always feel so uplifted and motivated after reading them. Loved the quotes, especially the first one (Miller)

You are very winsome indeed.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you Kristy, they do all come with a personal guarantee to impact favorably the funny bone, produce endorphins, enhance dreams, trigger mild euphoria and temporary invincibility. Since the effects do wear off, read as needed. (smile)

I have been stimulated by your writings as well. I'm like the space shuttle, I can go far and accomplish a lot, but I need a boost to get in orbit. There's something about the way you think that does that for me. Thanks again for your kind words. I think you will like the next two if I can ever stop obsessing them. =:)


SueShepard profile image

SueShepard 5 years ago from USA

Great hub! i am learning more and more to be my own person. It is hard sometimes, but I am trying.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you for the kind words Sue, being yourself is the easy part, no matter how hard we try to be otherwise, everyone else is taken--we're stuck with who we are. The hard part for me is accepting that it's ok to be me and that I am the absolutely best at being me on the planet.

If I spend all my time trying to convince others that I am someone else, I am not fooling anyone and my unique contribution is on hold while I'm doing it. Your articles reflect a genuine concern for others and you deserve no less from yourself. =:)


Bri Gee 5 years ago

Thanks Winsome, very unique hub, and well written. The individuals that are looking for any types of attention, should realize that we may not be everyone's "cup of tea," and vise versa. (vote up)


Winsome profile image

Winsome 5 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Thank you BG, if I have to be someone's cup of tea, I want to be "Passion." =:)

Just kidding, I know what you mean--we never know what some people are looking for and if we happen to fit their idea of cool, well and good, but if not we still keep marching to the beat of that "different drum." I appreciate your reading and the nice comment.


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 4 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

Another awesome hub. The title is so catchy and should be a book title. You have great wisdom and I simply loved the quotes. I happen to be one of those that could care less about what people think although I try not to be rude and lift others up no matter what. I really enjoyed reading this and look forward to a book from you. Thank you so much.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 4 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Lisa, you are very gracious and sweet--thank you. The book is my life, written out one article at a time. I'm trying to understand how I could have done it better and how to live it in the best way possible.

I think it was the Apostle Paul who said we are all "living letters, read by all men." Still, if a book would be helpful, a book it shall be.

I greatly appreciate the encouragement. All my best. =:)


lisadpreston profile image

lisadpreston 4 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

2 Corinthians 3

1Do we begin again to commend ourselves? or need we, as some others, epistles of commendation to you, or letters of commendation from you?

2Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:

3Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.

Never-the-less, A BOOK IT SHALL BE! Indeed, it would be helpful to all.


emilybee profile image

emilybee 4 years ago

I love all the movies you have referenced here. I love your title too - great job with being yourself Winsome! In my younger days I didn't know who I was, really, but for sure I'm myself now, and guess what???? Most people like me for that which is pretty cool. It's a lot easier being yourself than being a little impostor. Great hub, pictures, captions and content!! Voted up.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 4 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Ha ha, great job of being yourself--how appropriate. Thank you Emily. Isn't it funny that being yourself is the most attractive to people and so many are trying to be someone else for that very same reason and not succeeding. Sorry I would make long paragraphs using one sentence if I could.

I'm always swimming up the stream of consciousness, dropping commas like fish hooks along the way hoping no one notices the lack of a period. =:)


Julie DeNeen profile image

Julie DeNeen 4 years ago from Clinton CT

So it all started when I wrote a blog about peeing in a cup, then you followed me, then I followed you back, and decided to look at some of your writing. I found this one and how well timed. I was sitting here feeling completely lame because I am not a roaring success like the bloggess and then alas- I am reminded to be me because everyone else is taken. Thank you. Oh yeah, and I shared!


Trinity M profile image

Trinity M 4 years ago

I loved this hub. It is so important to be ourselves yet we spend most of our lives feeling like we aren’t good enough. Age is a wonderful thing though, as you get older you stop caring about what others think and you start living life as your true self. Wonderful hub. Voted up and interesting.


Winsome profile image

Winsome 4 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Julie so glad you came by. You just tickled me with your sense of humor and drive to crank out those 5000 words and I had to let you know. I have vast regard for those of you who can write on demand--I pick titles like vintage grapes and let them age a little like wine in fine old kegs and then at the right moment pop the cork and publish. I hope it makes for a more pleasurable read, but who knows, maybe you will inspire me and I'll do more extemporaneous ones just for fun.

I stumbled across a writer here as he was retiring after writing 2500 hubs--twenty five hundred! I asked him if he ever stopped to smell the roses and he said: "I dunno, what's a rose?"

Thanks for the comment and I look forward to lots more chatting and inspiring with you. =: )


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Winsome 4 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas Author

Hi Trinity, thank you for the kind words and comment. We do a much better job with others when we are at peace with who we are. I looked at myself in the mirror a while ago and thought how glad I was that people are pretty much who they believe they are. If you think poorly of yourself, others tend to go along with you and if you feel you are special, they go along with that as well.

It reminds me of what Lincoln said: "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Thanks again for the visit. =:)

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